Learn to be an Airline Pilot Spouse

-I'll refer to pilots as him, his, etc, even though I know there are plenty of female pilots out there. Just trying to keep it simple.

-I started with my husband in his instructing days, though the commuters and up to the major airline. We've been through pay freezes, pay cuts and a furlough.

-I'm going to update this page as I get questions or perhaps someone notices an error or typo. Please contact me with questions and/or comments.

-I don't know how every individual airline operates.So my discussion here may not exactly match your unique situation.

***Some airline lingo:

Commuter - a pilot that has to fly as a a passenger to get to work or back home. Makes life more difficult. Like taking the bus except more time consuming. IF POSSIBLE, you want (your spouse) to avoid the commuting hassle OR minimize it as much as possible (working many days together). Consider the stress of trying to catch a flight (on a day off probably) which may be canceled or delayed due to weather or maintenance OR there's no seats (or jumpseat). He'll also be spending time and money on a crash pad or hotel. Bottom line is commuting puts a dent in your quality of life and time together. You live only once, and one day apart when not needed is a day wasted and lost forever. Wouldn't you both rather be together near the base than far away with him gone commuting and working (and you alone)?

Crash pad - if a commuter needs to arrive the day before work begins, or has to stay over before flying home, he'll need to pay for a crash pad. The crash pad is a place where several pilots pay a monthly fee (rent) to have a place to sleep. It's mostly for pilots not senior enough to hold commutable trips (a schedule where he can fly to work in the morning and then work, then finish up and catch a flight home). If he's going to be sleeping over all the time, it's much cheaper then getting a hotel room. Airport hotels do offer discounts, but they don't always have a room available.

Day trip - a pairing that originates and ends the same day.

Deadhead - when a pilot flies as a passenger as part of the pairing (his schedule). Usually it's a way for the airline to move crews around. It doesn't happen often.

IOE - Initial Operating Experience - when a pilot completes ground school and simulator training for a particular seat (Captain, co-pilot or flight engineer) on a particular airplane (B727, DC10, etc), he undergoes a minimum number of hours on the actual airplane on actual passenger flights with an instructor (referred to as a check airman).

Jumpseat - in the flight deck is an extra, folding seat used by the Federal Aviation Administration or instructor pilots to observe a crew at work. These are referred to as line checks. Pilots are constantly being trained and evaluated. Anyway, pilots commuting to or from work are sometimes forced to ride the jumpseat and since there's normally just one, it's given out based on seniority. If there's a seat in back, they can still fly (free) on the jumpseat pass, but actually sit in back. They can use it at other airlines also.

Junior Manning - Holy Cow! This is so backwards in this day and age. Simply put, a game of tag. Say your husband is home; it's his day off. Someone calls asking for him like their friends; 'Hi, is Joey there?', all chummy sounding. So you say, 'Sure, just a minute'. Your husband gets on and BAM!!! It's crew scheduling. They want him to go in and fly a trip. Could be a couple of days. He has to go in or he's in trouble; could say he's had a drink or doesn't feel well, but will probably end up talking to his boss. Here's the point; get a separate phone line and stick the phone (with answering machine) in a closet with the ringer turned off. You DO NOT want the airline calling your house. With cell phones, the airline can have just his cell number and he'll be able to decide to ignore the call.

Layover - staying at a hotel

Line holder - a pilot that is senior enough to be awarded a work schedule made up of pairings. NOT on reserve.

Non-rev - this term is for employees and family members traveling on a pass. Since you're flying free, there's no revenue generated.

Pairing - a work schedule which could be one day or several days long. The pairing details the flight numbers, departure/arrival times, names & phone numbers of hotels.

Red eye - departs the West coast arriving on the East coast early morning.

Reserve - a pilot that's 'on call' to work at a moments notice.

Trans-con - a flight between the East and West coast's.

Well, you have some perks. Your pilot has a schedule unlike anyone else. Even a bad schedule will give 12 days off, so that's four more than most people. You get to travel free (if there's seats). With seniority, he'll be able to adjust his schedule to fit better with your schedule or whatever he may want. There's no boring routine. It's not a 9 to 5 job where he gets up the same time every morning, sees the same people and comes home the same time. Nope, it's topsy turvy. In my husbands early days, when he was flying up to 10 legs a day and the trip was three days long, he sometimes had to get the phone book to know where he was. That's right, had no idea where he was sometimes. Didn't even know what day of the week it was or if it was a holiday.

Airlines don't normally make money. They'll squeeze pilots (well, everyone) as much as they can. There are pay freezes, pay cuts and dreaded furloughs. Seems like there's furloughs every five years or so. There are reduction bids where everyone goes backwards (Captains get bumped back to First Officer for example, and even if not getting bumped out of the seat, the schedule that can be held will be worse). You have airlines go out of business. Airlines merge.

My advice is to save money every month. Anything. Save. You should always live on an income less than he takes in. So when pay cuts come, you're already living on that level. Money saved in the bank will help if there's a furlough, or a strike.

You're entering a world of fantastic travel opportunities and great schedules with lot's of days off and he can probably support you on his income alone. But it can all change very quickly, so you want to be ready. If you have a skill or talent, keep it ready in case you need to go to work. If either of you has a way to make money on the side, do it. Some pilots restore cars. Others own a franchise or business. There should be something to fall back on.

Pilots are required to pass an FAA medical exam every six months. What happens if he fails? It happens. Pilots can buy Loss of License insurance, but it doesn't replace the salary 100%, and it can take a few months for it to start paying.

I don't mean to drag you down, but you're not out of the woods until he's been with the company at least five years or so. You're never completely out of the woods.

I'll list links to message boards where spouses/partners of pilots meet. Be sure to check them out.

Pilots and airlines use military time, so you might want to learn it. It's easy. From midnight to lunch time is simple. Just do away with the colon and AM, so 10:20 AM is 1020. The big change comes the minute after 12:59 PM, or at 1:00 PM. After 1259 comes 1300 (1:00 PM). The minutes part doesn't change, just the hour. 2:00 PM=1400, 3:00 PM=1500 and so on until 2359 (11:59 PM) which is followed by 0000 (midnight).

Don't bother with this next part unless you want to know more than you need to.

Still with me? OK, so think about this. You're flying from the East coast to Europe. You're looking at the weather at your estimated arrival time. You're taking off at some local time, landing someplace far away at their local time, and your flight is several hours long. It can get very confusing adding or subtracting hours to all the time zones, plus some places don't observe daylight savings time, another twist.

So they use Greenwich Meantime (GMT), also referred to as UTC (Universal Coordinated Time) or Zulu time. Simply put, it's a clock used anywhere on the planet. If it's 1430 in Greenwich, England (the reference point for everything), then it's 1430 everywhere. So when looking at weather and departure/arrival times, they use GMT. Keeps it all simple for them.

MONTHLY BIDDING

Pilots will bid for their work schedule every month. It's based on the pilots seniority, so the more senior a pilot is, the better the work schedule. Junior pilots usually work as reserve pilots. That means they're on call for certain hours on certain days. In some cases, not even days off are guaranteed as the company may be able to 'roll' a pilots on-call schedule into days off. On one hand, it's a miserable life as no plans can be made. It's never known when the pilot will be called. The call might be to go in as soon as possible, or the pilot may be told to go in tomorrow morning. The trip could be a short affair lasting just the day, or could be several days. On the other hand, it's possible to go an entire month without being called in to work. The pilot is guaranteed a minimum income for the month, perhaps about 72 hours. Pilots are limited by law to 100 hours a month, 1,000 hours per year.

So when bidding, the pilot can determine the days he'd like to be off, the number of days he'd like off, the pay (does he want to work a lot, or take it easy), where he goes, if the trips are day trips (like a normal job) or layover in a hotel and in the case of a co-pilot, maybe he'd like to avoid certain Captains. The trips that are available change month to month, so those great trips to Aruba might not be available next month.

My husband is senior enough that he can get 82 hours of pay in eight days, That's what he does in summer. In winter, he doesn't want yo be stuck in the house with little to do, so he'll fly to the west coast (trans-cons) which means he works 16 days a month.

For pilots that are senior enough to avoid reserve, but too junior for the good schedules, life can be tough. On one hand, there's no mysteries; they know when they're off and they know where they'll be when they are working. On the other hand, the trips are downright awful. Perhaps they leave first thing in the morning, sit around all day someplace, and fly a red-eye back. Maybe they get to spend 36 hours in a hotel someplace. It's enough to make them think they're better off on reserve.

This applies to Captains and co-pilots. My husband could have been a Captain since 2001. He chose to stay as a senior co-pilot though. If he were a Captain right now, he'd be senior enough to avoid reserve, but too junior for the good schedules. The Captain pay raise is way too little to compensate for the loss of quality of life, which leads to another part of the scheduling picture.

Pilots can either trip trade, drop trips or pick up trips. Very simply, once all the schedules are out, if pilots don't want to fly a certain schedule, they can try to drop it (and lose the pay). If they can't drop it, they may try to swap their trip with another pilot (trip trade). Finally, some pilots that just want to get rid of a trip can advertise it. Another pilot can pick it up for some extra money. My husband, with 23 days off last August, could pick up 10 extra hours or so and that's about half of the Captain pay raise right there. So life is much better as a senior co-pilot (first officer).

SYSTEM BID

This bid may come out once or twice a year. With the system bid, a pilot bids a position or seat (Captain, First Officer or Flight Engineer), a airplane (B727, DC10, etc) and a base. Airlines have bases where the pairings originate and end. So the junior pilot, on top of being on reserve, will be on the least desirable airplane, the least desirable seat at the least desirable base. So that means a new hire might start off as a flight engineer on the B727 in another country. A senior pilot, meanwhile, might be a Captain on the B777 based someplace nice, maybe LAX or SFO if you like the west coast. Beats Chicago.

Bigger airplanes pay more and Captains are paid more than First Officers. F/O's are paid more than Flight engineers. Captains are Captain because they are senior enough to hold the spot, not because they were promoted for doing a good job as a co-pilot.

VACATION BID

Seniority also affects the vacation bid. Every year, pilots bid for their vacations. Like most jobs, the more years they have, the more weeks given. Senior pilots can get what they want. You might think they would bid for the holidays, however, with the ability to bid a good schedule on the monthly bid, this isn't much of an issue. Perhaps bidding vacation on the holidays is more important to pilots that can't get the days off on the monthly bid.

Anyway, seniority is everything and everything is done through bidding.

So let's say your partner is hired with an airline. Yippee! When he goes to training, he'll be gone for about six weeks. Yep, it's a long time. There's so much studying to do, chances are he won't try to visit you on the weekend. There is much to memorize. Pilot's have to know all the guts of the plane. How it all works, valves, sensors, what switch does what. During the week, he'll be in class or in the modern times, using a computer for training. Pilots also have to learn 'flows'. It's a choreography of motion in the cockpit (flight deck is the more modern term). So the pilot has a small poster in his hotel room of the instrument panels, the one in front of him, above him and the one between both pilots. He will learn that when he first gets in, his hand will start at one switch/instrument and go around like 'connect the dots'. He will check if it's in the right position or test it or set it for where it need to be for the flight.

There's also a procedure trainer for that, an actual flight deck sitting on the floor where he can actually perform the 'flows' he'll do at work.

The pilot will also study for the simulator. The simulator moves and has a realistic view out the window. Everything works, feels and sounds like the real thing. They will do normal flying procedures as well as fly with various malfunctions and failures . When an engine fails on take-off for example, there's a script which must be followed. The same thing applies for landing in the fog. All these procedures must be learned.

In days gone by, there was an oral exam that had to be passed. Now I believe it's done by computer. At any rate, it's a very intense time. Failure is not taken lightly. In the old days, a pilot was fired. Now, a pilot may go to re-train and try again, but there's a limit, especially since the training is costing the airline money.

When the pilot finally gets through with that, he has IOE, Initial Operating Experience. Even though the simulator is very realistic, he need to be with an instructor, a check airman, for the first few flights. That's because now, there's the element of passengers and flight attendants and real life situations. The pilot must take his new knowledge and adapt it to real life.

I remember my husband telling me of a student that went through the entire training program, but could not fly the real airplane. It just blew that guys mind. So the airline sent him back to the very beginning, and again he couldn't fly, so he was fired. Another guy was from the Air Force Reserve. Just couldn't fly the plane. Fired. He was obviously OK in a fighter jet, but couldn't handle a large passenger jet with a crew.

All the instructors, from the simulator to the actual airplane, must think if they would let their family on an airplane if the student were flying it.

Anyway, no matter how many years or how much experience a pilot has, they have to return to the simulator every year for two days in the simulator. They must practice dealing with emergencies and landing in bad weather. They still have to pass tests. They still have ground school every year and computer courses to take. Your significant other will be a student until retirement.

If the pilot goes to a different airplane, let's say from a B737 to a B757, he has to do it all over again. If he upgrades from co-pilot to Captain on the same airplane, then it's a shorter course as he already knows the airplane. But the 'flows' will be different and of course he's on the other side of the flight deck. Imagine driving from the right seat (unless you're reading this in England, then picture driving in the left seat).

You would think the job of pilot, or flight attendant, is great for those that want to cheat on a spouse. Think about. They have a hotel room, paid for by the airline. They're supposed to be there. None of your family or friends are living at the particular city, so he can go out with some chick and who's to know?

Do flight attendants and pilots get together and fool around? What about the idea of having a girlfriend in every city?

Those days are long gone. I don't think you need to worry. First of all, the airlines, like many companies, are all nervous about sexual harassment, even dirty jokes. The flight attendants are no longer single, young, gorgeous girls. They are now all ages, colors, sizes, guys and so on. No more short skirts and boots. As my husband tells me, they don't even hang out in the cockpit during the flight like they used to.

Then there's the schedule. The days of going to the hotel and meeting everyone for a drink are also mostly gone. It happens on occasion, but everyone is nervous about drinking. Seems even the hotel keeps on eye on things now. There just isn't time anymore. They get in, go to bed, get up early and back to work.

So, while I'm sure there's still some hanky panky going on, it's nowhere near what it was in the '60's and '70's. There's just no time and no temptation.

While the cell phone has made communications much easier, you still have periods where you won't be able to call him or ask for help. Obviously, his phone is turned off during the flight. But if he's in a foreign country, you're still out of touch unless he has a phone plan for foreign calls or he wants to pay high roaming fees. Additionally, many countries have no coverage.

You can call the hotel, of course. He should leave you his pairing information so you know what flights he's working and where he is at night (and the phone number). Sometimes, after the crew signs in, they change rooms. Maybe the room isn't ready, or the heater is broken; whatever. If the front desk doesn't change the sign in sheet, they'll connect you to the wrong room. You'll get no answer, or maybe a woman answers!

You might expect him home at a certain time. Nothing is written in stone. He can be delayed someplace or in a holding pattern. The plane can breakdown in Mexico and he ends up spending the night. Anything can happen. He may not be able to call you or he may be too busy. You'll quickly learn to watch the weather, because it delays everything.

So you need to be able to handle things at home yourself. Sometimes, you're going to feel like you're not married, or perhaps a single mom. If you absolutely need him, call scheduling. They will at least get a message to him and tell you what the situation is if he's stuck someplace.

There's two websites you should be familiar with. One is the airline page where you can check the progress of his flight; just like you would do if you were picking someone up and you wanted to know the time of arrival and gate information.

Another is a website called FlightAware. You can actually watch his flight travel across the country. It shows ground speed and altitude. I'll put it on my links list.

When he gets home, you should know that he's probably had a rough, aggravating day. He's been flying, or commuting home. Maybe he's crossed time zones. At any rate, you just want to be there for him. Maybe he wants to talk. Maybe he wants to be left alone. One bad thing about flying is he can't really tell you about his day because unless you're a pilot, you just won't understand.

So don't break any bad news just yet. If you're in the mod for romance, that might not work either. My advice? Just take in the body language and see how he is. The house should be clean and a meal should be ready. You probably don't want a bunch of kids running around making a racket. Give him some quiet time to relax.

My husbands airline has a room filled with brochures and the latest deals. A couple of people work there and can provide information. So that's one resource you might want to look into.

Another resource is companies that cater to non-rev travel. I'm going to link to them in my link section. You'll learn that some places give great deals on the off season, or perhaps you can grab a last minute deal. It's helpful to be flexible.

As far as being flexible, don't get hung up on flying to a particular airport. Think more about flying to a region. One time we were trying to fly to Orlando, Florida. The flight was full and we knew we wouldn't get on. A few gates away was a flight to Melbourne, so we took that instead. That's one reason we don't normally arrange car rentals ahead of time. Sometimes we do, but it seems we usually try to get someplace first, then worry about the car, then worry about the hotel. If you already checked your luggage in, which you should avoid, then you have to get your bags back.

Let's talk about flying. You're traveling only if there's empty seats. You're getting on only after all the revenue passengers are boarded. You might get the last couple of seats, and then if a revenue passenger shows up, you'll be kicked off the flight. Additionally, your spouse the pilot has the option to ride the cockpit jumpseat, so if you need four seats and there's only three, you might still be good to go.

So this is where you'll learn to log into the airline site and pull up boarding information. You'll learn that if a flight is pretty full a week before your trip, you're probably not getting on. You can still go for it, but you might want to be ready to fly someplace else.

Always dress nice and be on your best behavior. If you cause trouble, it'll get back to your husbands supervisor, and you could have your privileges revoked.

If you've never been alone at night, then this could be a shock. For peace of mind, you should consider security. I recommend setting up three layers of security.

1) an early warning/detection system and deterrence - this could be motion activated lights and alarm. Not only should it scare away an intruder, but it should get your attention.

2) reinforce your doors. You can purchase a device that will make it difficult to kick in doors. Also check into alarms for the windows.

3) if you end up face to face with an intruder, you want protection. First, you can have an alarm on a lanyard. Tie it to the bed. You can grab the device like a hand grenade and toss it out where it'll make a racket. That's because when you pull it, the lanyard (tied to the bed) pulls a pin out activating the device. It's very distracting and may get the attention of neighbors.

Next, you should have pepper spray and/or mace. I have mace as it shoots almost 20 feet. I don't want the intruder to get near me.

Finally, if he gets to you, have the stun gun ready.

Once you call 911, you need only two minutes or so before help arrives, so you need to buy time. Make sure your cell phone is on in case the land line is not working (cut).

If you have kids, you can install deadbolts and hide the keys in your room. If they hear a disturbance, they should know to lock the deadbolt and perhaps you can buy them the device to prevent the door from being kicked in. You can also give them their own pepper spray (if they're old enough).

As far as the devices to prevent doors from being kicked in, you want to make sure kids can get out if there's a fire. If their bedroom is upstairs, buy them escape ladders and make sure you've prearranged a spot to meet.

Check my links section.

OK, so what do you buy a pilot for Christmas, his birthday, etc? First, I'd like to plug my husbands shop, Dream to Fly. Please check it out. Most of his stuff is based on a poem he wrote which is just below here.

There are two categories of gifts: pilot supplies and pilot home decorations. By the time a person becomes an airline pilot, he probably already has all the supplies he'll need. Unless your husband specifies something he needs, I wouldn't buy any supplies, especially since pilots are very particular about exactly what it is that's needed.

That leaves the fun stuff like posters, pilot figures and so on. But before I forget, I want to list my husbands favorite books. If he loved them, then I think there's a good chance your aviator will like them also. Here we go:

Fate is the Hunter by Ernest Gann
Mavericks of the Sky by Barry Rosenberg & Catherine Macaulay
Richard Bach: Flying, The Aviation Trilogy
Flight of Passage by Rinker Buck
North Star Over my Shoulder by Bob Buck
A Gift of Wings by Richard Bach

You can also buy a subscription to Atlantic Flyer.
Another paper is General Aviation News which is good if he still flies small planes

Check my links page.

So back to decorations, I'll post a photo here to give you an idea. If you live near Princeton Airport in New Jersey, stop by and see their awesome store. For the rest of you, check the local airport to see if they sell anything.

He was just falling asleep in ORD (Chicago). He said he wasn't even thinking about poetry and never wrote a poem before. He said all the words suddenly popped into his head and he had to write it very quickly, like taking notes inschool. He was surprised the following morning when he read it. Took a week to come up with the title.

A Dream to Fly

It's in your blood, you don't know why; just one goal, you've got to fly
To feel your craft, take to flight; it's been your dream, 'most every night
Then it came, your first flight; you spread your wings, it sure felt right
Above the ground, so high and free; you could only think, it's meant to be
Ground school, flight school, summer and fall; so many lessons, to learn it all
Stalls and spins, and the lazy eight; you love to fly, but these you hate
Private, commercial, then ATP; a lot of work, you'll come to see
To build up time, you must agree; you'd fly anything, you'd fly for free
Snow streaks by, in your lights; what a show, this cold winter night
Rain at the airport, dark and cold; break out on top, a sight to behold
Cloud gives way, the storm is past; the air is smooth, your plane is fast
See the mountains, and oceans too; so many places, you'll pass through
Slice through clouds, on silver wings; so magnificent, to see these things
Props and jets, big and small; coast to coast, you'll see it all
It's in your blood, you don't know why; you just can't stop, you've got to fly

Copyright 1995

Do you think your pilot would like this poem? My husband has a store selling the poem on products, so I hope you'll stop by to check it out.

***JUNIOR MANNING

I've got to mention this story about junior manning. As I explained in the lingo section, the airline calls and if they get him (on his day off), he'll have to go to work. So one time, when life was a living hell, he just walked in the door after commuting home (it was night). This is during the furlough period. He's in the house maybe five minutes and the phone rings. I answer it and someone asked for him. I gave him the phone. It was scheduling and so he turned around and goes back to the airport. I was in tears. He said he wrote his third resignation letter on the flight back to work. I can't recall what triggered the first two.

So I learned about junior manning. They did this ALL THE TIME!!! I'm very angry right now just thinking about it. Sometimes, on his last flight at the end of a three day trip, they'd nab him (and the other poor souls) on the last flight when they called operations in-range (they always called a station to report they were like 20 minutes out or so). So three days turned into four or five.

My husband, like most other pilots, is very resourceful and cunning. The ordeal was at times like a game of cat and mouse. So one time my husband's in bed as he got in the previous evening. I was working. My oldest daughter was just shy of her third birthday. Who calls but scheduling. My daughter, for the first time ever, answered the phone and gave it to my husband. As he's still half asleep, he said 'Yes' and that was that. Scheduling says they're junior manning him for a three day trip blah, blah, blah. So in shock he says, 'I have no baby sitter!'. The standard scheduling response to any protest is, 'So are you refusing the trip?'. My husband blew a fuse and said he'd be there.

So he packs up my daughter, drives to the airport and catches a flight to his base. He meets the crew and they work the first leg. He flew with the cockpit door open so he could keep an eye on her. At the outstation, he calls scheduling to advise them he was junior manned and since he couldn't get a baby sitter, took his barely 3 year old daughter with him. He further advises she can't do 8 more legs and a Buffalo overnight. The scheduler said she had to because he was junior manning for tomorrow.

So in-range to the base, he calls operations and tells them to not bother boarding the next flight, because there will be no Captain. They park the plane and shut it down. He goes to his boss and explains the fiasco. He's sent back home.

It was after this experience we got the second phone line and that was that. If God forbid something happened to my husband at work, the only way I'd hear about it would be on the news or from a hospital, because the airline sure as heck wouldn't get me (and still won't get me).

***ENGINE FAILURE

One thing I found amazing is how the airline loved to beat them all up, but there was rarely a kind word spoken. One morning, on his first flight of the day (after sleeping on a awful couch in a maintenance room at the airport), he lost an engine on take-off. So the crew took care of it and landed. The airline found him another airplane and off they went, like losing an engine at take-off happens all the time. My husband says it's his job and he doesn't expect any acknowledgment from the company. That's fine, but I think if the company is going to abuse them, then the company should recognize them for averting disaster. Working for the airlines reminds me of the industrial age, not that I was around back then. But I'm reminded of stories of how employers would lock doors and windows to keep the workers caged in for 12 hours or more.