Bad Golf Habits: They will Haunt You Forever
I play poor golf and you can too!
I created this lens to let everyone know that I truly suck at golf and will eternally suck at golf. I have a 29 handicap and have had the same handicap since I picked up my first club. I am currently 37 years of age and have endured course after course hacking since I was 18. The years meandering on the fairways haven't produced too many scores to be proud of. No, I haven't taken any lessons. My golf training consists of reading a few tips on the web and perusing golf magazines at the dentist office, but none of those five minute remedies have seemed to magically get my game off the ground (or fairway). I wonder why?? A few years ago, I thought I saw the "light" when I purchased a book that enables your game to have success using a baseball type grip combined with adjusting your swing plane. With this new found education, I put these principles to work. I actually managed to play pretty good for the first nine holes before my game went back into the crapper. Well, maybe if I had purchased those thick baseball type grips the author was selling, I would have logged in a 68 for the day. (It's all in the merchandising folks). For those of you that are caught up in this predicament, I have attached a list of ways to guarantee your game will continue to suck in case you are actually convinced your game is back.
Why I Suck At Golf
The complete Mulligan Story........
1. Own a house with a big yard. The work that accompanies owning property is very deceiving, especially if you have lots of trees and a garden. Don't buy a riding mower either. Get the push mower that will take twice the amount of time. This will eliminate any time for the driving range, putting, chipping, etc.
2. Get married. This will guarantee your game gets less play. Why would anyone want to spend time to improve their game when they can be spending the day shopping with their "honey dew"?
3. Procreate. Have a child or two. (It just takes one). Family commitments will ensure to keep you off the course and lower your handicap. Though when children get a little older it is essential that you teach them the proper way to throw the club as well as reciting the appropriate excuses for poor play.
4. Work overtime on the weekdays and on Saturdays. Not only will this keep you from practicing that favorite game, it will be a great way to suck up to your boss and show him or her that you're company material.
5. Get involved with a health club. This will enable you to have an excuse for not having any time to play 18. You have to exercise to transform the "keg" into a "six pack". Who has time to play when training for the neighborhood 5K run...er walk?
6. Play nine holes instead of eighteen (due to #1 through #5 above). Your golf clan will quickly scoff at your 50% committment and soon you will be banished from the group.
7. Patronize the beverage cart more frequently during play. Alcohol will give you that false sense of pride that you are indeed..Tiger Woods. Pars will quickly tranform into 8's and 9's.
8. Working with the "slice". To correct your banana tee shot, stand and face the opposite direction to correct your slice. This is priceless. I know some of you are out there!
9. Purchase an extension ball retriever for fishing out that one of kind ball that you just can't lose! God forbid if that top flite gets stuck in the muck. There is a spot in the Senior League for you.
10. Play golf with people that suck worse than you. They will be amazed at your trick slice shots and your stunning three putts. You will even bedazzle them with your punch shots out of the woods.
I hope you find my poor golf tips and redundant sarcasm humorous if not light-hearted. I created this lens as a way to vent for my lack of playing time and ability to lower my handicap. Still I love this game..see you on the links!
A Great Example of Bad Golf Swing
charles barkley has a really bad golf swing
here's another clip from http://www.MediaFetcher.com. Yes... the PGA Tour golf pro behind Charles Barkley is laughing at his golf swing. Charles demonstrates how not to swing a golf club in this swing vision nightmare. Time for some lessons buddy!
Runtime: 0:45 | 60808 views | 25 Comments
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Joan4
Funny lens!! Enjoyed this! Thank you! Posted June 26, 2008 |
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PotPieGirl
I LOVE this lens!! I was in the golf business for years and those 10 reasons are spot-on! #9 made me laugh like crazy.... so true, so true.... Posted January 31, 2008 |
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Vonpeter
Congratulations on a great lens. If you want to play golf every day without paying greenfees, find the article on my lens, Does Timeshare Work? This is a must read! You won't regret it. Posted January 26, 2008 |
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AMK
Familiar stuff and hilarious. Could not stop laughing! Posted October 28, 2007 |
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Michelledo
Hey Brad, I enjoyed your lens. I like your sense of humor. Although I don't play golf (other than putt-putt - LOL), I have a lot of family members who do play. Btw, we are neighbors. I live in Indiana. Posted September 21, 2007 |
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CraigPeri
I really enjoyed reading this lens. Great work. Posted August 13, 2007 |
