POF
One in 1000 women is diagnosed with POF. If you have POF, you know what it is. If not, POF is when the ovaries no longer work. For most of us this means we no longer have any eggs and we end up in premature menopause. If you have been diagnosed with POF and need someone to talk to, please contact me. You are NOT alone!
My Descent into Hell (aka My Story)
At 25 I was working at a local news station, happy as a clam. It was September when I started having hot flashes, fuzzy thoughts, clumsiness and an overall ill feeling. I thought I was coming down with something. By October the symptoms hadn't subsided and I was worried.
My mother told me to go see an Endocrinologist. Hypothyroid runs in my family. So I did. He did a bloodtest and told me my thyroid was low, along with my estrogen levels. He put me on thyroid meds and sent me on my way.
On the thyroid meds, I started feeling better. By January I was having hot flashes again. This time I went to another doctor. She took another blood test. On my next visit she told me that she thought I was in premature menopause. I wasn't really sure what she meant. At age 25 who thinks of menopause?
She put me on low doses of Estrogen. Six months later she took me off the Estrogen and the hot flashes started immediately. More tests. Then the diagnosis. I had Premature Ovarian Failure.
I was at work the day I found out. I remember sitting in the break room, talking to my mom on the phone sobbing. POF meant no children. At this time I was 26 and dumbfounded. I didn't understand how this happened. I didn't understand how this COULD happen.
From that point on, life became an emotional hell.
Disbelief Becomes Heartache
"Yes, you have Premature Ovarian Failure. Your FSH levels are the levels of an 80 year old woman," he declared.
Hearing those words wasn't any easier the second time around. It was liked being punched in the stomach, all the air knocked out of me. I stared at him, my mind whirling. I had so many questions, so many worries and fears. Eighty-year old woman? How is that possible? What do I do now? What about kids?
He proceeded to tell me that in his medical career, which was forty some odd years, that I was only the sixth woman he had seen with POF. Somehow hearing that didn't make me feel better. If anything, it made me feel even more confused and isolated.
The Losses Keep Growing
My whole concept of myself had changed. I couldn't have children, therefore what was my purpose? My whole identity was wrapped up in the ability to have children. Without that was I still a woman? I wasn't infertile, I was barren. What man would want me? How would I explain that?
These thoughts ran through my head constantly. My heart was filled with deep despair. No one understood that. Most people are born with a choice. The choice to have children or not. I had no choice. Yes, there is adoption, but that isn't a child with my eyes. Yes, there is an egg donor, still not a child with my eyes. The lack of a child born of my body, carrying my genes, was devastating.
What Are the Symptoms?
Physical Symptoms:
* Irregular Periods
* Hot Flashes and Night Sweats
* Vaginal Dryness
* Bladder Control Problems
* Insomnia/Disrupted Sleep
* Palpitations
* Headaches
* Breast Tenderness
* Gastrointestinal Distress and Nausea.
* Tingling or Itchy Skin.
* Bloating
* Dizziness/Lightheadedness
* Sore Joints/Muscles
* Hair Loss or Thinning
* Increase in Facial Hair
Emotional Symptoms:
* Irritability
* Mood Swings
* Lowered Libido
* Anxiety
* "Brain Fog" -- difficulty concentrating, confusion
* Memory Lapses
* Extreme Fatigue/Low Energy Levels
* Confusion/Lack of Concentration
* Feeling Emotionally Detached
For a complete list of symptoms visit: http://www.earlymenopause.com/symptoms.htm
Diagnostic Tests
Blood Tests-
FSH - Follicle Stimulating Hormone - This is produced by the pituitary gland in your brain. It sends out FSH to your ovaries when you are low on Estrogen.
TSH - Thyroid Stimulating Hormone - Also produced by the pituitary gland. Tells your thyroid gland to produce more thyroid.
Estradial (Estrogen) - measures the amount of estrogen in your blood.
Other Tests -
Ultrasound - used to detect follicles on the ovaries. Functioning ovaries show up better on Ultrasound than non-functioning ones do. My ovaries either don't show up or show up as a slight smear.
For a complete explanation of tests visit:
http://www.earlymenopause.com/tests.htm
What Causes POF?
1. Autoimmune Disorders - this is when your body sends out antibodies to attack your organs. Arthritis, thyroid problems, and Lupus are some autoimmune disorders.
2. Fragile X Syndrome - Women have two X chromosomes. If one of those is defective it can interfere with the production of eggs. Women are born with only so many eggs. When they run out they are gone. We do not make an endless supply of eggs like men do with sperm.
Premature menopause can also be caused by a hysterectomy, radiation treatment or a family history.
In my case, there was no link between my POF and and of the above mentioned causes. So at this point, I have no idea why I have POF.
For a more in depth look at these causes visit:
http://www.earlymenopause.com/causes.htm
POF Links
- Early Menopause
- Message board and info for Premature Menopause.
- Inciid
- Infertility Website
- POF Support
- Support group and info for POF
POF Books on Amazon
Menopause Before 40: Coping with Premature Ovarian Failure
Amazon Price: $24.95 (as of 10/07/2008)
Faces of POF: Learning and Living with Premature Ovarian Failure
Amazon Price: $16.99 (as of 10/07/2008)
The Premature Menopause Book:: When The "change Of Life" Comes Too Early
Amazon Price: $11.21 (as of 10/07/2008)
Early Menopause: Why Me?
Amazon Price: $21.95 (as of 10/07/2008)
Sign My Wall
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spirituality
Very informative and touching lens. Is it any comfort to know that you are no less human than you were before? Posted September 18, 2008 |
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EelKat
people always ask me why I put so much time and money into my costumes. Before I was 27, I didn't. It's what I do to keep my mind off the fact that can't have children. If I didn't spend my time designing and sewing these costumes, I'd go out of my mind. Posted September 18, 2008 |
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EelKat
I was 27. I know how you feel. I grew up LDS, and so all my female friends and relatives already have a minimum of 4 kids (on younger than me already has 12!), anyways, me now age 33 and not having any children lead to an onslaught of teasing and name calling. I ended up leaving the LDS church because of it, because no matter what I said made no difference to them, in their eyes I was *evil* because I could never be a mother. Posted September 18, 2008 |
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Matthew_Ferry
Hi there Miss E...though I'm a man, i learned a lot from what you've undergo..really a great encouragement to other women who has the same situation as you do..thanks for sharing your story.. Posted June 24, 2008 |
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ParthenaB
I have a new lens and added yours in the body under Favorite Squidoos. Check out this great info: Posted June 15, 2008 |
