Premature Ovarian Failure

Please bear with me as I write this. Even now this is a difficult subject for me and even harder to share such a private part with strangers.

At 25 I was working at a local news station, happy as a clam. It was September when I started having hot flashes, fuzzy thoughts, clumsiness and an overall ill feeling. I thought I was coming down with something. By October the symptoms hadn't subsided and I was worried.

My mother told me to go see an Endocrinologist. Hypothyroid runs in my family. So I did. He did a bloodtest and told me my thyroid was low, along with my estrogen levels. He put me on thyroid meds and sent me on my way.

On the thyroid meds, I started feeling better. By January I was having hot flashes again. This time I went to another doctor. She took another blood test. On my next visit she told me that she thought I was in premature menopause. I wasn't really sure what she meant. At age 25 who thinks of menopause?

She put me on low doses of Estrogen. Six months later she took me off the Estrogen and the hot flashes started immediately. More tests. Then the diagnosis. I had Premature Ovarian Failure.

I was at work the day I found out. I remember sitting in the break room, talking to my mom on the phone sobbing. POF meant no children. At this time I was 26 and dumbfounded. I didn't understand how this happened. I didn't understand how this COULD happen.

From that point on, life became an emotional hell.

I had decided I needed a second opinion (which would eventually be followed by a third). I made an appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist. My first visit was in his private office. I had given him my blood test results from the previous doctor. I watched as he opened my folder, scanned the page and looked up at me.

"Yes, you have Premature Ovarian Failure. Your FSH levels are the levels of an 80 year old woman," he declared.

Hearing those words wasn't any easier the second time around. It was liked being punched in the stomach, all the air knocked out of me. I stared at him, my mind whirling. I had so many questions, so many worries and fears. Eighty-year old woman? How is that possible? What do I do now? What about kids?

He proceeded to tell me that in his medical career, which was forty some odd years, that I was only the sixth woman he had seen with POF. Somehow hearing that didn't make me feel better. If anything, it made me feel even more confused and isolated.

That doctor made an already hard situation into an even harder one. He dismissed all my concerns and questions, leaving me frightened. I started doing my own research. Knowledge is power. For me, it very much was.

My whole concept of myself had changed. I couldn't have children, therefore what was my purpose? My whole identity was wrapped up in the ability to have children. Without that was I still a woman? I wasn't infertile, I was barren. What man would want me? How would I explain that?

These thoughts ran through my head constantly. My heart was filled with deep despair. No one understood that. Most people are born with a choice. The choice to have children or not. I had no choice. Yes, there is adoption, but that isn't a child with my eyes. Yes, there is an egg donor, still not a child with my eyes. The lack of a child born of my body, carrying my genes, was devastating.

Irregularities with the thyroid gland can mimic these symptoms. There are also other conditions that can mimic these symptoms. It is always wise to talk to your doctor if you experience any of these symptoms!

Physical Symptoms:

* Irregular Periods
* Hot Flashes and Night Sweats
* Vaginal Dryness
* Bladder Control Problems
* Insomnia/Disrupted Sleep
* Palpitations
* Headaches
* Breast Tenderness
* Gastrointestinal Distress and Nausea.
* Tingling or Itchy Skin.
* Bloating
* Dizziness/Lightheadedness
* Sore Joints/Muscles
* Hair Loss or Thinning
* Increase in Facial Hair

Emotional Symptoms:

* Irritability
* Mood Swings
* Lowered Libido
* Anxiety
* "Brain Fog" -- difficulty concentrating, confusion
* Memory Lapses
* Extreme Fatigue/Low Energy Levels
* Confusion/Lack of Concentration
* Feeling Emotionally Detached

For a complete list of symptoms visit: http://www.earlymenopause.com/symptoms.htm

In my experience, doctors have a hard time believing that my ovaries no longer work. I cannot stress enough that no matter how young you are, if you are having symptoms of POF, make sure your doctor listens to you! If he/she doesn't find a doctor that will!

Blood Tests-

FSH - Follicle Stimulating Hormone - This is produced by the pituitary gland in your brain. It sends out FSH to your ovaries when you are low on Estrogen.

TSH - Thyroid Stimulating Hormone - Also produced by the pituitary gland. Tells your thyroid gland to produce more thyroid.

Estradial (Estrogen) - measures the amount of estrogen in your blood.

Other Tests -

Ultrasound - used to detect follicles on the ovaries. Functioning ovaries show up better on Ultrasound than non-functioning ones do. My ovaries either don't show up or show up as a slight smear.

For a complete explanation of tests visit:
http://www.earlymenopause.com/tests.htm

There is no exact cause. Some of the known causes are:

1. Autoimmune Disorders - this is when your body sends out antibodies to attack your organs. Arthritis, thyroid problems, and Lupus are some autoimmune disorders.

2. Fragile X Syndrome - Women have two X chromosomes. If one of those is defective it can interfere with the production of eggs. Women are born with only so many eggs. When they run out they are gone. We do not make an endless supply of eggs like men do with sperm.

Premature menopause can also be caused by a hysterectomy, radiation treatment or a family history.

In my case, there was no link between my POF and and of the above mentioned causes. So at this point, I have no idea why I have POF.

For a more in depth look at these causes visit:
http://www.earlymenopause.com/causes.htm