Polygamy in Africa from a young Africans' point of view
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Plural Marriages or Unions in Africa
Polygamy in Africa is a cultural practice that has been deeply rooted in the African Tradition for eons. Although Western culture and religion have all but outlawed this way of life...it continues to function as just that...a way of life.
I'm a South Africa and I come from a monogamous family. I have nothing against polygamy when practiced responsibly. For us as African's it's a choice, cultural and traditional issue, for some it is even practiced within their religions.
I'm a South Africa and I come from a monogamous family. I have nothing against polygamy when practiced responsibly. For us as African's it's a choice, cultural and traditional issue, for some it is even practiced within their religions.
Polygamy in Africa
I recently read an article online from a woman who was speaking about polygamy from a feminist, democratic and westernized point of view. I have no issues with those views at all, I'm feminist, democratic and I'm westernized. But you can go ahead and blame my parents.
So I decided that instead of blowing a gasket about how she is an imperialistic old fart who knows nothing about African cultural and traditional practices, and how she is a pompous, patronizing snob, I decided to just write an article to clarify a few issues.
Also known as many marriages, polygamy refers to a marriage situation where one person is married to more than one partner. This is acceptable in a large amount of societies world wide. Christian and Jewish faiths have outlawed this practice and it is less prevalent in countries where the majority of the citizens are either Jewish or Christian. I'm a Christian. Again, feel free to blame the parents.
Polygamy in Africa has been a cultural and/or a traditional practice for a very long time. Although some cultures, due to a level of westernization of religion will only look at it as old relic and outdated practice, it is still highly practiced in some societies and cultures.
This happens in many forms. For example in some African practices, when a man dies, his brother will inherit his wife and children. Therefore, if the brother was already married he's immediately find himself in a polygamous marriage with 2 wives and a handful of extra children. In South Africa, the Customary Marriages Act protects the woman if she does not want to marry the late husbands brother.
In other societies older women would select a younger female to be her husband's new wife in order to share the large amount of work load in the household.
Granted in some cultures polygamy is forced upon women, sometimes shockingly young girls are forced into this life. I personally condemn such practices and I pray that something is done as a matter of urgency to act against such practices. But in most cases all parties concerned are aware of what they are getting in to. In African cultures the First wife generally has a say on who the husband chooses as his second wife, and third wife and so forth. She has to approve of the woman before she is brought into the house.
Would I get into a polygamous union? No I would not. And not even the parents would, but they are the imperialized, westernized sort who would never think of imposing such an old relic into their beloved childrens' lives. But that is a personal choice. Just as much as I would not look down upon those who do practice polygamy. Many Africans are descendants of a family that has a history of sorts of polygamy. Not all people who come from such a household grow up to be polygamist. It is nobody's place to judge unless somebody has been forced into such an arrangement.
Polygamy is now battling to outlive the taboo status that some Europeans and the media has plastered on it. I wonder if any of them have ever thought about those women who actually want to be in a polygamous union. I'm not even talking about those young women in Swaziland who are all hoping to be the Kings 23rd wife or something.
So I decided that instead of blowing a gasket about how she is an imperialistic old fart who knows nothing about African cultural and traditional practices, and how she is a pompous, patronizing snob, I decided to just write an article to clarify a few issues.
Also known as many marriages, polygamy refers to a marriage situation where one person is married to more than one partner. This is acceptable in a large amount of societies world wide. Christian and Jewish faiths have outlawed this practice and it is less prevalent in countries where the majority of the citizens are either Jewish or Christian. I'm a Christian. Again, feel free to blame the parents.
Polygamy in Africa has been a cultural and/or a traditional practice for a very long time. Although some cultures, due to a level of westernization of religion will only look at it as old relic and outdated practice, it is still highly practiced in some societies and cultures.
This happens in many forms. For example in some African practices, when a man dies, his brother will inherit his wife and children. Therefore, if the brother was already married he's immediately find himself in a polygamous marriage with 2 wives and a handful of extra children. In South Africa, the Customary Marriages Act protects the woman if she does not want to marry the late husbands brother.
In other societies older women would select a younger female to be her husband's new wife in order to share the large amount of work load in the household.
Granted in some cultures polygamy is forced upon women, sometimes shockingly young girls are forced into this life. I personally condemn such practices and I pray that something is done as a matter of urgency to act against such practices. But in most cases all parties concerned are aware of what they are getting in to. In African cultures the First wife generally has a say on who the husband chooses as his second wife, and third wife and so forth. She has to approve of the woman before she is brought into the house.
Would I get into a polygamous union? No I would not. And not even the parents would, but they are the imperialized, westernized sort who would never think of imposing such an old relic into their beloved childrens' lives. But that is a personal choice. Just as much as I would not look down upon those who do practice polygamy. Many Africans are descendants of a family that has a history of sorts of polygamy. Not all people who come from such a household grow up to be polygamist. It is nobody's place to judge unless somebody has been forced into such an arrangement.
Polygamy is now battling to outlive the taboo status that some Europeans and the media has plastered on it. I wonder if any of them have ever thought about those women who actually want to be in a polygamous union. I'm not even talking about those young women in Swaziland who are all hoping to be the Kings 23rd wife or something.
South Africa
As a South African i can't write something about polygamy and not mention the President. So here it goes;President Jacob Zuma has Three wives (one more on the way) and at least 18 children. He has been Married 5 Times. One wife divorced him and one committed suicide.
Getrude Sizakhele Khumalo (Makhumalo) is hte official First Lady and Zuma's first wife, they have no children together.
Knosazana Dlamini Zuma has been a Cabinet Minister in Government since 1999. She divorced Jacob Zuma in 1998.
Kate Mantsho committed suicide in December 2000.
Nompumelelo Ntuli (MaNtuli) married Jacob Zuma in January 2008.
He has paid lobola (dowry) for Two other women. (he has two fiancees)
He has been at the receiving end of a lot of criticism about his family life, some from even the opposition parties. He seems happy enough with is arrangement though and all his wives are matured ladies with the ability to make their own decisions. South Africa is one of the highest ranking countries in terms of Human Rights, I doubt any of these ladies were forced int this union. I think that they are all capable of walking out should things turn sour. Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma did just that.
Polygamy is allowed in South Africa, mainly because most of its cultures and traditions have been practicing it for eons and are still are. It won't be easy for any government to change that because its part of who we are as a Nation. What needs to be done though, is ensuring that young girls are protected from being forced into such unions and to ensure that women, young and old, are educated about this practice and that they are educated about their rights and responsibilities.
South Africa has legislation in place that protects everybody involved in such unions. Which is great, as long as it is implemented even at grassroots level and in the deepest of our rural areas, where knowledge and education are a bit scarce.
Great books on Polygamy
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patrickiroegbu2011
May 28, 2012 @ 12:22 pm | delete
- This article is a highlight to show that polygamy is culturally alive in Africa and we should not pretend as if it is a taboo. It is not. Reasons go with why polygamy is believed in and practiced as culturally legitimate. Only capable men can marry more than one wife for it entails being wealthy and popular. It is a status conferring development known as "Ogaranya" in Igbo of Nigeria. It can result from inheritance, cure for illness and possession factor, wealth, family landed assets and farming help, error or mistake through pregnancy, personal choice and love, recommendation and offer of a lady as a gift, need to get right sex of children or due to barrenness, religious need, separation from home, etc. For more anthropological insight, waste no time to read Dr. Patrick Iroegbu's book "Marrying Wealth, Marrying Poverty: Gender and Bridewealth Power in an African Society (2010) available online at www.amazon.com. Read it with interest and found the posting refreshing. The strong point also is that in cultures that practice polygamy, women are designed to marry and are sources of wealth. Arrangement is made through polygamy to ensure that every woman is settled in marriage. To not marry is not an acceptable option. My book dug into the deep layers of believes and practices in the reality of the Igbo of Nigeria. It is a book that has been described as unique and day to day reality of gender power and it is currently used in universities for the course of Gender, sex and culture.
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patrickiroegbu2011
May 28, 2012 @ 12:01 pm | delete
- This article is a highlight to show that polygamy is culturally alive in Africa and we should not pretend as if it is a taboo. It is not. Reasons go with why polygamy is believed in and practiced as culturally legitimate. Only capable men cay marry more than one wife for it entails being wealthy and popular. It is a status conferring development known as "Ogaranya" in Igbo of Nigeria. It can result from inheritance, cure for illness and possession factor, wealth, family landed assets and farming help, error or mistake through pregnancy, personal choice and love, recommendation and offer of a lady as a gift, need to get right sex of children or due to barrenness, religious need, separation from home, etc. For more anthropological insights read Dr. Patrick Iroegbu book "Marrying Wealth, Marrying Poverty (2010) available online at www.amazon.com. Read it with interest and found the posting refreshing.
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loveislove
Oct 26, 2011 @ 8:34 pm | delete
- I do not think you have to be for polygamy to tolerate it. If i choose to marry a woman and I am a woman how would that affect others? And someone stated society is moving on ....... Great what does that have to do with someones religion or cultural practices? I am 100% for polygyny for those whom CHOOSE it for themselves! Tolerance is a great sign of a mature and continually growing society.
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Donnette
Jun 23, 2011 @ 4:03 am | delete
- Great lens, thank you
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jseven
Jun 16, 2011 @ 4:42 pm | delete
- Thanks for the information on your culture. I could never embrace polygamy as my ex-husband cheated and it caused the divorce.
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mismatch
Mar 4, 2011 @ 11:54 am | delete
- I just have to add, President's Zuma wifes can walk out on him cause they surely can afford that, if they want. But there are women who could not afford to leave a marriage that makes them miserable for life. Sure society could change, there is the example of Turky, where Ata Turk, a real leader that cared about the state of his nation, imposed a ban on polygamy almost overnight. He was such a respected statesman, that he changed his country to a modern and prosperous state and his people followed his lead.Nowadays Turkish people still respect Ata Turk for his leadership. Polygamy is ilegal.
As long as members of the South African society defend polygamy, there is no way that young girls can be protected from being forced or tricked into polygamous marriage before they know what it will bring for them. No matter how beautiful it sounds that we should protect them, no matter how we hope that it is possible. It is the public's opinion that could make it only. If it were against, of course.
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mismatch
Mar 4, 2011 @ 10:08 am | delete
- Hi Simon-says, it's all fine with traditions and all but is not the time to look into the practices of the past and keep some of them only for historical studies? If we always would just do what our forfathers did centuries ago, we never ever would develop, society would sit as it was forever, we wouldn't have cars to drive, water from the taps, jobs in the cities all of us, nice clothes and so on. I have nothing against traditions only against double standards where some traditions are defended when it suits one and and some forgotten when it suits so. The world is moving on and no one complains about the comforts that development brings with even though they were not traditional.
I am not a snob and I know people (women) in polygamous marriages who are deeply unhappy. I know people coming from parents in polygamous marriages with deeply unhappy memories of their chidlhood exactly because of it.
I know how men are and I just accept that as a fact of life, but tradition should not be an excuse for keeping an ancient custom come from ages that were very different from ours, as something good and wonderful because it is not. What about being concerned with ubuntu rather than polygamy? The dances? The music, as it was?
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azul434
Apr 4, 2012 @ 10:41 am | delete
- I know many children of polygamouos marriages, I am one of them, who have absolutely no qualms with it. The so-called nuclear family? How many children from it are unhappy? How many are victims of divorce? Within a polygamous marriage I have never heard of a divorce. Not to say that it is not there. And the extended family serves as a cushion against many societal ills and family strife. Bigger brothers can play the part of the father where the father is deceased, ...
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tspsugar
Oct 3, 2010 @ 7:20 am | delete
- great article, thank you. i do have a question though...what is the emotional impact on a woman whose husband has other wives? I guess the feminist you were talking about in your article was thinking about how she would feel in the situation rather then the rights of women:) So, how does it feel do you think?
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Zhana21 Jul 20, 2009 @ 7:08 am | delete
- Thank you for this excellent article which describes polygamy with great clarity. Hopefully you have busted a few myths.
I am against all forms of forced marriage, including (but not limited to) polygamy.
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Simon-Says
Jun 3, 2009 @ 1:22 pm | in reply to spirituality | delete
- Thanks, I'll definitely do that! I'll keep you posted on how it's going.
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spirituality Jun 3, 2009 @ 1:37 am | delete
- Great start. I wonder where you'll go with this. to make it better you can also ask for feedback at the squidu forum http://www.squidu.com/ , where you can make friends and find other interesting lenses. It's a community here and we'd like you to be part of it.
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by Simon-Says
I'm an opinionated African who does no shy away from her thoughts. I write what i think.
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