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Do You Show Your Love To Your Child?

 

You can enjoy more family articles at A Mother's Notebook


Show-and-Tell in various forms is a popular feature of many preschool classrooms.  When you watch children making their presentation you understand the popularity of show-and-tell.  Kids love to talk about their interests and passions but they love to share those interests and passions even more.

Kids are all about show. As a parent you know this. We have to demonstrate and lead our children by the hand through every lesson--both big and small.

So why do we so often think it is enough to simply tell our children that we love them?  It isn't enough.  Love is the biggest show-and-tell of them all and you need to make it a part of your every day life.

Children do as we do, not as we say, and down the road do we really want our children simply mouthing the word: "I love you" to us as they rush out the door? Or do we want them to show us in many ways?

This is why it is crucial to show your child that you love him.

Hugs and kisses are good. So are tickles and games. My son and I have little bedtime rituals that allow us to show our love for each other.We snuggle for bedtime stories and talk about the day. Then we come up with ridiculous ways to count how much we love each other, for example 12,567 heffalumps was one recent description. Then we butterfly kiss, eskimo kiss, and finally squish and smooch (our code words for hugs and kisses).

However these are not the only ways that I demonstrate my love for my son.

When I was growing up I never doubted that my parents loved me. They made very clear that my brother and I were a top priority for them. They sacrificed professionally and personally to give us time together as a family. My father coached; my parents chaperoned, volunteered, and chauffered; and my parents attended every school function, play, concert, and game.

More than that though my parents took an interest in us as people and would play games or ride bikes. They would simply spend time with us doing the things that we liked doing.

It really isn't just about time. After all, both my parents worked and were active in the community. My mother was the only working mother in the neighborhood when I was a child.

It is a question of priorities. YOU know that your child is your top priority, but what do your actions tell your child? If repeatedly your actions put something or someone else before your child then they are going to get that message loud and clear no matter what is in your heart.

Most days my husband leaves for work before our son is even awake, but when he comes home in the evening the first thing he does is scoop Noah up for a tickle and hug. Sometimes Noah even makes his father chase him because he knows that his father will. Noah knows that he is a priority for his father and he trusts that love.

So how can you show your child he is a priority? How can you demonstrate your love for your child? Find some way every day to show as well as tell your child of your love. Some ways we do this in our home:

     ~ Skip dinner preparations and make a picnic together to eat at the location of che child's choice. Noah's favorite is up in his tower.
     ~ Clicking off the TV to lay on the floor and layout a train track. Coming up with new designs can actually be pretty relaxing for the parent after a stressful day!
     ~ Going for a walk and just talking about whatever comes up. This is one of Noah's favorites!
     ~ Setting down my own book to read Noah one of his.
     ~ Putting off kitchen cleanup to go outside and play soccer or tag.
    
Notice what all these actions have in common? They don't involve money, just your time and attention. That is the gift your child values above all else. Sure they'd like that latest toy and gadget they see advertised on TV, but they love you and long after that toy is abandoned in the back of their closet they will still choose to spend time with you.

Positive Parenting Advice 

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Good Parenting Tips 

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2 Key Factors That Impact Your Parenting Style 

Being a parents is the toughest job you'll ever love!

I know that I love being a Mom but I also know how tough it is. I am comforted in knowing that I'm not the only one challenged by this role (certainly every parent I've ever talked to has questions and concerns) and I'm always seeking more information to help me be a better parent.

One concept that really helped me define my own parenting style involves identifying the two key factors that impact parenting style -- these are simply the level of control and the level of warmth involved in your relationship with your child.

Control refers simply to how much power you exercise over your child's behavior. Do you have strict rules that your child is expected to obey? How do you respond to disobedience?

Warmth does not mean the intensity of your love for your child but rather how it is demonstrated. Do you frequently (at several points during the day) show your love to your child through kisses and cuddles, time spent in a joint activity, and words of love and praise?

Your parenting style is then reflected by combining these two factors together to form one of four parenting types:

~ High Control - High Warmth
~ Low Control - High Warmth
~ High Control - Low Warmth
~ Low Control - Low Warmth

Obviously this is oversimplified as parents don't fall 100 percent into any category and certainly circumstances and events alter how a parent reacts.

For example, I would consider my husband and I both high control but there is certainly a variation in the level of control we exert. Also, where we are and what we are doing impacts the level of control that I exert. I have a certain expectation of behavior at church, for example, and am a little less rigid when visiting friends. At home, if I have work to do then I am pretty strict about behavior but when it is play time then I relax the rules a bit.

Similarly, I would rate both my husband and I as high warmth but we demonstrate that warmth very differently. I often kiss and cuddle our son as well as express my love verbally through loving words and appreciation. My husband does kiss and cuddle, but on a much more restricted basis; however they will spend time playing together just the two of them every day and they have several little rituals that reinforce their strong bond.

Taking a look at these two key factors and applying them to your relationship with your child can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses as a parent which can then in turn help you identify what needs to be improved. After all, as a parent your end goal is to raise a happy, healthy, successful child and to reach that goal you need to be the best parent you can be.

Share your parenting tips and advice... 

TwoBrightHeads

Good lens. I am father to a young daughter. Thank you.

big bright head

Posted August 07, 2008

TwoBrightHeads

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Posted August 06, 2008

AshleyAnnRyan

What you're doing is great!!! Keep it up. 5 stars for sure!

Posted August 04, 2008

I'd like to recommend parents visit my lense or blog at http://littlebytesnews.blogspot.com for more parenting, child development, shopping, recalls and reviews tips and information from a stay at home mom and former elementary teachers perspective.
Nice job on your lense...

Posted July 26, 2008

tdove

Thanks for joining G Rated Lense Factory!

Posted June 19, 2008

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