Potty Training Strong Willed Children

Ever hear these words? I do on a daily basis. Many people think that their child is independent, but you do not know the understanding of the word until you've met a strong willed child.


My husband and I started out as all the books suggest. Bring the potty home and let the child explore. My daughter loved taking the potty apart. She enjoyed putting it on her head and sitting on it. From there we started to sit her on the potty occasionally. We thought that at least then she would get the idea what it was. I would sit as she did to model what she needed to do.

As she got older, my daughter started to act out the behaviors needed to go potty. She would sit, wipe, flush, and wash her hands. At this point, I thought "great! Now we can get started". She was 2 1/2 at this time. Learn more about potty training.

The first thing we tried was potty reward charts. Now this is a good concept IF your child is motivated by charts. I actually made my own with a picture of a potty and butterfly stickers. My daughter was into butterflies at the time, and I thought she would like to stick one on the potty after she went. Well she continued with her great potty behavior, but there just was nothing coming out!

Next, I tried to read her signals. Know the signals I would place her on the potty when it seemed that it was time to go, but nothing would happen. Now, we are all human and I did get frustrated, but try to stay calm. A strong willed child is purely motivated by their own drive to do things in their own time and by their own agenda! My daughter would refuse and hold it in simply because she did not want to be told what to do! I do not recommend waiting it out because this could lead to urinary track infections or constipation.

Scrambling for answers we started asking around. Someone mentioned potty training in a day. Well we jumped right on that one! Amazing right? We bought the gear needed. We played up the whole day and NOTHING. My daughter loved watching the doll go potty, but it did nothing to motivate her.


Some people suggest putting the child on the potty every 15 minutes. We tried this method, but it just made my daughter more stubborn to hold it in.
Finally, I did some looking around on the internet and devised a plan.

1. Put the child in underwear.
This was the essential step. My daughter felt comfortable in her diaper and was perfectly happy to continue using it!

2. Do not mention going potty EVER.
This just means that a power struggle is ready to begin. Let it be their idea to go potty.


3. Help them clean up accidents.
Be nonchalant about the clean up. Just help them get into clean underwear and go about your day.

4. They will go EVENTUALLY!!
Do not give up. It will happen!


5. Praise the child immediately. Offer an incentive. Jump up and down. Call everyone you know. Whatever it takes DO IT.

Those of you out there who know what I'm talking about will appreciate all the struggles we went through. I started potty training my daughter at 2 and she is 3 1/2 and has been potty trained for a couple of months now!!

Relax, enjoy your independent fully potty trained child!

My daughter, being the strong willed child that she is, would hold in her bowel movements. This started a chain events that made it very difficult to potty train. First she held it in. Then, her colon would enlarge and she became constipated. She then had difficulty going which lead to her holding it in more. She developed megacolon and had to be treated. We opted for a high fiber diet. While this is one complication that can occur, there are others to watch out for:

Megacolon: Bascially, this is an enlarged colon caused by blockage in the colon. There are many different causes for megacolon. Constipation is the most common cause for toddlers, but if it continues you may want to consult a physician. One thing more--avoid suppositories and laxatives. Think of them as a last resort. They can upset the delicate blance of bacteria within the colon and make the problem worse.

Urinary Tract Infections: UTI is fairly common and can cause painful urination. Smelly urine or change in color can be an indication that your child has a UTI. Keep your little one well hydrated and consult your physician regarding treatment. I would avoid giving apple juice to toddlers because it can cause diarrhea.

Food Allergies: Particularly being lactose intolerant. Other allergies can cause problems, but a milk allergy may be the culprit.

Developmental Delays: A child with developmental delays will show signs of delay in more than one area. If your child is developing normally, then they will potty train. It's a matter of will and emotional maturity on their part. If there are developmental delays, you can continue using potty training methods. Just know it will take longer.

Fear: Your child may simply be afraid of the potty. Be patient and encouraging. Try to potty train in a relaxed setting. Public toilets are the worse! My daughter also has hearing issues and hates public restrooms. Automatic flushing toilets are the worse! She sits there afraid it's going to go off any minute and runs into the corner like someone running from a bomb exploding. Automatic hand driers are another issue. My little one cringes and holds her ears every time we step into a public bathroom with those hand driers. There is alot to be afraid of in this new world. Toddlers have so much to get the hang of. Just remember they will not be going to high school in diapers!

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