The Discworld Series and Other Books By Terry Pratchett

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A Guide to the Discworld Series and Terry Pratchett's Writing

This page is an attempt to create a starting point for people interested in Terry Pratchett and his Discworld series and a compendium of the available material and reviews here on Squidoo. There's a terribly shocking lack of reviews here, so I've started by listing all the books, grouped in approximate subject order (e.g. Rincewind, The Witches of Lancre, Young Adult...) and where other lenses exist reviewing each book, I have included them. There are quite a few general lenses about the Discworld and a fair few reviews hidden in other books lenses, and I've included those on here as well.



But there are about seven book reviews and over forty books. Please forgive the fact that this is basically a list of books - and if you want to help fix this, please write another review on a specific book, or make a page about one of the characters. If nothing else, I hope you enjoy the quotes!



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Most Recent And Upcoming Terry Pratchett Books

Just Come Out In September 2010 and... already being written!

The next Terry Pratchett book is another Vimes book (everyone cheers). It carries on after Thud - and, as it involves goblins, probably Unseen Academicals as well.

It starts off with Sam Vimes going away on a two week holiday (with his wife Sybil) to their country house. The working title is Snuff (meanings: fine ground tobacco, snorted up the noise; to 'snuff' out a candle, leading to 'Snuff' films depicting actual death).

He is also going back to another, previously secret, project, put aside when the Discworld series took off. Two unpublished novels in a series called The Long Earth. Long Earth is science fiction, and he'll be collaborating with Stephen Baxter. (Actually, that's not as surprising as it originally seemed - his Science of the Discworld books and the early Johnny and the Dead series definitely edge right into Scifi territory).




I Shall Wear Midnight

The most recently published book is I Shall Wear Midnight.
The fourth in the young adult series following the young witch Tiffany Aching as she tramps in her giant boots from her shepherd roots on the Chalk, up to Lancre and back, attracting unfortunate allies with minds of their own, and the flattering and even more unfortunate attentions of Winter itself and Granny Weatherwax, I Shall Wear Midnight comes out in September 2010

I Shall Wear Midnight (Discworld)

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It's out, it's good, and I've reviewed I Shall Wear Midnight in some depth here!

Release Date: 09/28/2010

Upcoming books from Terry Pratchett for 2011 and 2012

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New To Pratchett?

And wondering where to start...?

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More about the Discworld

General lenses about the series and author

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The Discworld Characters, History and Geography

Lenses about the characters, history and places of the Discworld

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Guides to the Discworld and Pratchett: Books

For the more dedicated Discworld scholar

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The Non-Discworld Books

Wear the LilacThis page lists the non-Discworld stories - the early books like The Carpet People and Strata, and the newer ones like Nation and Good Omens (co-written with Neil Gaiman), as well as the only non-fiction (if rather satirical) book he ever wrote - The Unadulterated Cat.

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Pre-Discworld books

The Unadulterated Cat

"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this."

Consider the situation. There you are, forehead like a set of balconies, worrying about the long-term effects of all this new 'fire' stuff on the environment, you're being chased and eaten by most of the planet's large animals, and suddenly tiny versions of one of the worst of them wanders into the cave and starts to purr.
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The Top Five Quotes

From The Unadulterated Cat

Our garden was debated territory between five local cats, and we'd heard that the best way to keep other cats out of the garden was to have one yourself. A moment's rational thought here will spot the slight flaw in this reasoning.

1 point

Next comes the realist phase ("After all, from a purely geometrical point of view a cat is only a tube with a door at the top.").

1 point

Everyone's heard of Erwin Schrodinger's famous thought experiment. You put a cat in a box with a bottle of poison, which many people would suggest is about as far as you need to go.

1 point

Cats don't hunt seals. They would if they knew what they were and where to find them. But they don't, so that's all right.

0 points

Boot-faced cats aren't born but made, often because they've tried to outstare or occasionally rape a speeding car and have been repaired by a vet who just pulled all the bits together and stuck the stitches in where there was room.

0 points

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created by Flynn_the_Cat

In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.

One of the most successful animal species to colonise the Discworld. Felis Domesticus, by devious routes all of its own, has managed a symbiotic relationship with Homo Sapiens in every part of the galaxy that Man has made his own.

Unadulterated Cat

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The Unadulterated Cat is becoming an endangered species as more and more of us settle for those boring mass-produced cats the ad-men sell us - the pussies that purr into their gold-plated food bowls on the telly. But the Campaign for Real Cats sets out to change all that by helping us to recognise a true, unadulterated cat when we see one. For example: real cats have ears that look like they've been trimmed with pinking shears; real cats never wear flea collars ...or appear on Christmas cards ...or chase anything with a bell in it; real cats do eat quiche. And giblets. And butter. And anything else left on the table, if they think they can get away with it. Real cats can hear a fridge door opening two rooms away ...

The Carpet People: Review

'Stop that!' he shouted. 'You're soldiers! You're not supposed to fight!'

Most armies are in fact run by their sergeants - the officers are there just to give things a bit of tone and prevent warfare becoming a mere lower-class brawl.
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Top Ten Quotes from The Carpet People

Add your favourites and rate them!

Normally its narrow streets were crowded with stalls, and people from all over the Carpet.

They'd all be trying to cheat one another in that more...1 point

Most armies are in fact run by their sergeants

- the officers are there just to give things a bit more...1 point

On the fifth day the Governor of the town called all the tribal chieftains to an audience in the market square,

to hear their grievances. He didn't always do anyt more...1 point

'But we should kill him!'

'No. You've been listen to Brocando too often,' said more...0 points

'Waiting is the worst part,' said Pismire.

'No it isn't,' said Owlglass, who wasn't even bein more...0 points

'Stop that!' he shouted. 'You're soldiers! You're not supposed to fight!'

0 points

The Deftmenes are mad and the Dumii are sane,

thought Snibril, and that's just the same as being more...0 points

'What would Deftmenes be if we went around obeying orders all the time?'

'They might be ruling the Carpet,' said Pismire.
'Ha!' more...0 points

'Well ... welcome. My house is your house'

his brow suddenly furrowed and he looked worried, "although more...0 points

When they're standing right in front of you, kings are a kind of speech impediment.

0 points

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When they're standing right in front of you, kings are a kind of speech impediment.

They called themselves the Munrungs. It meant The People, or The True Human Beings. It's what most people call themselves, to begin with. And then one day the tribe meets some other People or, if it's not been a good day, The Enemy. If only they'd think up a name like Some More True Human Beings, it'd save a lot of trouble later on.

Carpet People

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The story is a fine example of Pratchett's ability to view the world from a fresh perspective. If there's a fantasy novel lacking a dark forest and mysterious creatures, i've missed it. Pratchett, never a formula writer, simply shrinks the scope. His forested world is a thickly napped rug. Instead of pines or oaks, it's nylon and wool "hairs". The creatures are there, the snargs, the hymetors and others - including silverfish, who live under the world. There are also people - the Munrungs, the Deftmenes and - the Dumii. They interact, sometimes violently. Deep down in the pile, these people and their communities are invisible to humans. Something, however, sends terror through the forest peoples - Fray. This immensely destructive force topples cities and obliterates villages.

The Non-Discworld Novels

Good Omens: the review

A Narrative of Certain Events occurring in the last eleven years of human history, in strict accordance as shall be shewn with: "The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter" Compiled and edited, with Footnotes of an Educational Nature and Prece

Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn't work, 2) didn't do what the expensive advertisements said, 3) electrocuted the immediate neighborhood, 4) and in fact failed entirely to be inside the expensive box when you opened it, this was expressly, absolutely, implicitly and in no event the fault or responsibility of the manufacturer, that the purchaser should consider himself lucky to be allowed to give his money to the manufacturer, and that any attempt to treat what had just been paid for as the purchaser's own property would result in the attentions of serious men with menacing briefcases and very thin watches. Crowley had been extremely impressed with the warranties offered by the computer industry, and had in fact sent a bundle Below to the department that drew up the Immortal Soul agreements, with a yellow memo form attached just saying: "Learn, guys..."
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"God does not play games with His loyal servants,"

...said the Metatron, but in a worried tone of voice.
"Whoopeee," said Crowley. "Where have you been?"

Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

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Pratchett (of Discworld fame) and Gaiman (of Sandman fame) may seem an unlikely combination, but the topic (Armageddon) of this fast-paced novel is old hat to both. Pratchett's wackiness collaborates with Gaiman's morbid humor; the result is a humanist delight to be savored and reread again and again. You see, there was a bit of a mixup when the Antichrist was born, due in part to the machinations of Crowley, who did not so much fall as saunter downwards, and in part to the mysterious ways as manifested in the form of a part-time rare book dealer, an angel named Aziraphale. Like top agents everywhere, they've long had more in common with each other than the sides they represent, or the conflict they are nominally engaged in. The only person who knows how it will all end is Agnes Nutter, a witch whose prophecies all come true, if one can only manage to decipher them. The minor characters along the way (Famine makes an appearance as diet crazes, no-calorie food and anorexia epidemics) are as much fun as the story as a whole, which adds up to one of those rare books which is enormous fun to read the first time, and the second time, and the third time...

The Long Earth

A science fiction series being finished together with Stephen Baxter

The Long Earth is an old series that Pterry began over 20 years ago and is starting to finish up now.
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Guestbook

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

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The Discworld Books

Wear the Lilac Day - VetinariThis page lists the entire Discworld series from first to last, grouped by approxmate timeline and more accurately by story line. If you were wondering whether Thud was a Witches or a Watch book, how many Rincewind books there were and which other characters had enough books to create a storyline. Death turns up in every single book - now there's a character who literally gets everywhere - but he also has his own series, Vetinari is only ever a suporting character, but he's probably controlling the main plot in all of them, the Monks of Time have had their own story and have tried to steal others - and more recently, the Ankh-Morpork books are becoming about everyone, more than one specific character... For a quick guide of the first book in each 'series' or character thread, check out this page from the Never Start With the First Discworld Book lens.

You can also join the Wear the Lilac Facebook Group in celebration of the Glorious 25th of May - read Night Watch for the backstory, or click on the picture of Vetinari on the left!

About Pterry and the DiscworldThe Non-Discworld Books The Discworld Books Short Stories, Games & Misc

The First Discworld Books

The Rincewind Stories

Reviewed:

...none.




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More Rincewind Books

Guaranteed to solve every minor problem by turning it into a major disaster.

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none.


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Run, Rincewind, Run - Rincewind Videos!

Fanmade videos and excerpts from the Colour of Magic!

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The Lancre Witches books

Mythology's jus the folktales of the people who won 'cos they had bigger swords.

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None.

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The Death Books

Reviewed
Hogfather
Soul Music

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These books follow Death, his apprentice and adopted daughter (Mort and Ysabell) and their daughter, Susan Sto Helit.
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Hogfather: The Review

"Let's see, now...in Hogfather there are a number of stabbings, someone's killed by a man made of knives, someone's killed by the dark, and someone just been killed by a wardrobe. It's a book about the magic of childhood. You can tell.

There are those who believe that knowledge can only be recalled, that there was some Golden Age in the distant past when everything was known and the stones fitted together so you could hardly put a knife between them, you know, and it's obvious they had flying machines, right, because of the way the earthworks can only be seen from above, yeah? and there's this museum I read about where they found a pocket calculator under the altar of this ancient temple, you know what I'm saying? but the government hushed it up* ...

*It's amazing how good governments are, given their track record in almost every other field, at hushing up things like alien encounters. One reason may be that the aliens themselves are too embarrassed to talk about it. It's not known why most of the space-going races of the universe want to undertake rummaging in Earthling underwear as a prelude to formal contact. But representatives of several hundred races have taken to hanging out, unsuspected by one another, in rural corners of the planet and, as a result of this, keep on abducting other would-be abductees. Some have been in fact abducted while waiting to carry out an abduction on a couple of other aliens trying to abduct the aliens who were, as a result of misunderstood instructions, trying to form cattle into circles and mutilate crops. The planet Earth is now banned to an alien races until they can compare notes and find out how many, if any, real humans they have actually got. It is gloomily suspected that there is only one who is big, hairy and has very large feet. The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.
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'So Hex here has caught daftness off the Bursar,' said Ridcully. 'Simple. Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.'

'And there's the sign, Ridcully,' said the Dean. You have read it, I assume. You know? The sign which says "Do not, under any circumstances, open this door"?'
'Of course I've read it,' said Ridcully. 'Why d'yer think I want it opened?'
'Er...why?' said the Lecturer in Recent Runes.
'To see why they wanted it shut, of course.'† † This exchange contains almost all you need to know about human civilisation. At least, those bits of it that are now under the sea, fenced off or still smoking.

Hogfather

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The master of humorous fantasy delivers one of his strongest, most conventional books yet. Discworld's equivalent of Santa Claus, the Hogfather (who flies in a sleigh drawn by four gigantic pigs), has been spirited away by a repulsive assassin, Mr. Teatime, acting on behalf of the Auditors who rule the universe and who would prefer that it exhibited no life. Since faith is essential to life, destroying belief in the Hogfather would be a major blow to humanity. It falls to a marvelously depicted Death and his granddaughter Susan to solve the mystery of the disapp

Soul Music: Review

SNH, SNH, SNH.

It is said that whosoever the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad. In fact, whosoever the gods wish to destroy, they first hand the equivalent of a stick with a fizzing fuse and Acme Dynamite Company written on the side. It's more interesting, and doesn't take so long.

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Best Quotes from Soul Music

Add yours and vote for your favourite!

Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book.

3 points

The school encouraged fresh air, it was available in large amounts for free.

1 point

Some peasants who wanted to stop being peasants revolted. And since the nobles won they stopped being peasants really quickly.

1 point

0 points

Certain things have to happen before other things. Gods play games with the fates of men. But first they have to get all the pieces on the board, and look all over the place for the dice.

0 points

The question seldom addressed is where Medusa had snakes. Underarm hair is an even more embarrassing problem when it keeps biting the top of the deodorant bottle.

0 points

He was not, by the standard definitions, a bad man; in the same way a plague-bearing rat is not, from a dispassionate point of view, a bad animal.

0 points

Until an unfortunate axe incident, Gloria had been captain of the school basketball team.

0 points

The man gave a shrug which indicated that, although the world did indeed have many problems, this was one of them that was not his.

0 points

"Scum," said Crash, his voice low with resigned menace, "you've bought a leopard, haven't you?"

0 points

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The hippo of recollection stirred in the muddy waters of the mind.

Famous I don't know about. It's hard to be famous and alive. I just want to play music every day and hear someone say, 'Thanks, that was great, here's some money, same time tomorrow, okay?'

Soul Music

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Nepotism is given an unusual spin in Pratchett's 14th Discworld novel, as Death's granddaughter picks up the scythe when the Grim Reaper takes a vacation. Trolls, dwarves, magicians and rock music?music played with rocks?figure in this amusing but overlong romp, which begins with the formation of a band by aspiring musician Imp y Celen (aka Buddy). Arriving in the city of Ankh-Morpork, Buddy finds a magical guitar which enables the group?a rock-playing troll, an ax-wielding dwarf and an Orangutan pianist?to drive crowds wild. But the instrument causes conflict between the motley crew and Susan, Death's granddaughter, who is just adjusting to her new post. Many of the ensuing comic situations involve Death trying to get drunk, though Pratchett's liberal application of jokes scores as many misses as hits. Extraneous plot information slows the pace as the narrative rattles to a colossal, albeit uninspired, conclusion.

The Ankh-Morpork City Watch Books

Sam Vimes' stories...

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More Vimes Books

Reviewed:
Monstrous Regiment
*upcoming* the tentatively named Snuff is the 2011 book about Vimes.
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Monstrous Regiment: Reviewed

The interests of Ankh-Morpork are the interests of all money-lov %u2014 oops, sorry, all freedom-loving people everywhere

She unfolded the other piece of paper. It was a pamphlet. It was headed "From the Mothers of Borogravia!!" The mothers of Borogravia were very definite about wanting to send their sons off to war Against the Zlobenian Aggressor!! and used a great many exclamation points to say so. And this was odd, because the mothers in the town had not seemed keen on the idea of their sons going off to war, and positively tried to drag them back. Several copies of the pamphlet seemed to have reached every home, even so. It was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.
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And the new day was a great big fish.

The pencil was hovering. Around it, the world turned. It wrote things down, and then they got everywhere. The pen might not be mightier than the sword, but maybe the printing press was heavier than the siege weapon. Just a few words can change everything...


Monstrous Regiment (For the Stage)

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What do you get when you cross a vampire, a troll, Igor, a collection of misfits, and a young woman who shoves a pair of socks down her pants to join the army? The answer's simple. You have Monstrous Regiment, the characteristically charming novel by Terry Pratchett.

Polly becomes Private Oliver Perks, who is on a quest to find her older brother, who's recently MIA in one of the innumerable wars the tiny nation of Borogravia has a habit of starting with its neighbors. This peevish tendency has all but expended Borogravia's ranks of cannon fodder. Whether Sergeant Jackrum knows her secret or not, he can't afford to be choosy, as Perks and her/his comrades are among the last able-bodied recruits left in Borogravia. This collection of misfits includes the aforementioned vampire (reformed and off the blood, thank you), troll, and macabre Igor, who is only too happy to sew you a new leg if you aren't too particular about previous ownership. Off to war, Polly/Oliver learns that having a pair of, um, socks is a good way to open up doors in this man's army.

For those who haven't made this underrated author's acquaintance, Monstrous Regiment is as good a place to start as any. Readers will encounter Pratchett's subtle and disarming wit, his trademark footnoted asides along with a not-too-shabby tale of honor, courage, and duty in the face of absurd circumstances.

The von Lipwig Books

Terry Pratchett's Going Postal Trailer

Extended Sky One Trailer for the Going Postal Film!

Due out in 2010!



In the latest installment to the adaptions of Terry Pratchett's award winning Discworld series, Sky One and The Mob return to Ankh-Morpork. Moist von Lipwig, the Big Wahoonie's newest civil servant, has been granted a stay of execution by Lord Havelock Vetinari. However, running the Ankh-Morpork Post Office is more dangerous than Moist bargained for. Joined by Mr. Pump, Junior Postman Tolliver Groat and his assistant Stanley Howler, Moist sets out to restore the Post Office to its former glory. His way is barred, however, by the infamous Reacher Gilt, chairman of the Grand Trunk Company. Moist also finds love, in the unexpected personification of Adora Belle Dearheart.

Starring:
Richard Coyle - Moist von Lipwig
David Suchet - Reacher Gilt
Charles Dance - Patrician Havelock Vetinari
Claire Foy - Adora Belle Dearheart
Marnix Van Den Broeke - Mr. Pump
Steve Pemberton - Drumknott
Andrew Sachs - Tolliver Groat
Tamsin Greig - Miss Cripslock
Ingrid Bolsø Berdal - Sgt. Angua
Adrian Schiller - Mr. Gryle
Terry Pratchett's Going Postal (Sky One Trailer) [New Extended]
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Making Money: The Review

This looks like a job for inadvisably applied magic if ever I saw one.

'So,' said Adora Belle, 'a mad old lady - all right, a very astute mad old lady - died and gave you her dog, which sort of wears this bank on its collar, and you've told everyone that gold is worth less than potatoes, and you broke a dastardly criminal out of your actual Death Row, he's in the cellar designing "banknotes" for you, you've upset the nastiest family in the city, people are queueing to join the bank because you make them laugh - what have I missed?'
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%u201CStand still and your mistakes catch up with you%u201D

"'Just as I thought,' he said, pocketing the tube. 'You forgot to take the cap off. It's the kind of mistake amateurs always make!'

Owlswick hesitated, and then said, 'You mean there's people who commit suicide professionally'"

Making Money (Discworld Novels)

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Moist von Lipwig, the savior of the Ankh-Morpork post office, has gotten settled into a routine. He's filling out forms, signing things, will probably get to be head of the Merchants Association next year, and he hasn't designed a stamp in months. He's so bored, in fact, that he's taken to climbing the walls of the post office and breaking into his own office. Lord Vetinari, always brilliant in his ruthlessness, recognizes an opportunity when he sees one, and offers Moist the job of running the royal mint. Moist tries to refuse, pretending that he's satisfied with the stable life, but he can't deny the urge for adventure and intrigue for long. The mint is, in the finest Ankh-Morpork tradition, a strange and oddly old-fashioned place, with bizarre traditions so ingrained the long-term employees can't imagine doing them any other way. Moist is the perfect innovator, with his wildly creative solutions to problems, for changing the way the entire city thinks about money. In the transition from the gold standard and old money, Pratchett brings up all the details that make Ankh-Morpork one of the most satisfying contemporary fantasy cities and continues in his trend of beautifully crafted, wickedly cutting satire on the underpinnings of modern human society. Making Money is smart, funny, and a thoroughly entertaining read.

The Young Adult Discworld Books

I thought it very strange, and very sad, that the fairy kingdom largely appears to be English. I thought it was time for some regional representation. And the Nac Mac Feegle are, well, they're like tiny little Scottish Smurfs who have seen Braveheart altogether too many times.

Reviewed:
None on Squidoo
Reviewed on my blog...


I Shall Wear Midnight



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About the Tiffany Aching books

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The Stand Alone Books

Thief of Time: Review

Most of what you get taught is lies. It has to be. Sometimes if you get the truth all at once, you can%u2019t understand it

Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying "End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH," the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.
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They were the observers of the operation of the universe, its clerks, its auditors. They saw to it that things spun and rocks fell.
And they believed that for a thing to exist it had to have a position in time and space. Humanity had arrived as a nasty shock. Humanity practically was things that didn't have a position in time and space, such as imagination, pity, hope, history and belief. Take those away and all you had was an ape that fell out of trees a lot.

Thief of Time

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The Monks of History live in a Tibetan sort of area known as "enlightenment country." Their job: "to see that tomorrow happens at all." A mysterious Lady wants time-obsessed Jeremy Clockson to build a totally accurate glass clock. It will trap time and stop it, eliminating humanity's irritating unpredictability. This would make the Auditors, who observe the universe and enforce the rules governing it, very happy. It would also put Death out of a job, which the Grim Reaper isn't happy about. Fortunately, the History Monks have encountered this situation before; in fact, Lu Tze, the Sweeper, has personally dealt with it before. Even better, he has a new, gifted apprentice, Lobsang Ludd, the "thief of time." This time, they'll stop trouble before it can start! To add chaos to the mix, there's the Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse--the one who quit before they became famous.

Small Gods: The Reviews

This doesn't change anything, you know! Don't think you can get round me by existing!

Words are the litmus paper of the minds. If you find yourself in the power of someone who will use the word "commence" in cold blood, go somewhere else very quickly. But if they say "Enter", don't stop to pack.
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Blasphemy? How can I blaspheme? I%u2019m a god!

"Chain letters," said the Tyrant. "The Chain Letter to the Ephebians. Forget Your Gods. Be Subjugated. Learn to Fear. Do not break the chain -- the last people who did woke up one morning to find fifty thousand armed men on their lawn."

Small Gods

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Discworld is an extragavanza--among much else, it has billions of gods. "They swarm as thick as herring roe," writes Terry Pratchett in Small Gods, the 13th book in the series. Where there are gods galore, there are priests, high and low, and... there are novices. Brutha is a novice with little chance to become a priest--thinking does not come easily to him, although believing does. But it is to Brutha that the great god Om manifests, in the lowly form of a tortoise.

Unseen Academicals: The Review

The thing about football is, it's not about football

The singing of the National Anthem was always a ragged affair, the good people of Ankh-Morkpork feeling that it was unpatriotic to sing songs about how patriotic you were, taking the view that someone singing a song about how patriotic they were was eigher up to something or a Head of State¹.
¹ i.e. up to something.
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Fun Fact:
Arthur Megapode was one of the unused names for Monty Python's Flying Circus. In Unseen Academicals it was a possibly mythical creature, that it was traditional to chase through the halls of the Unseen University every hundred years (The Hunting of the Megapode:"A veritable heyhoe-rumbledown as all fellows pursue the Megapode through the college buildings with much mirth and good spirits"). The wizards rode on the backs of Bledlows such as Alf Nobbs (no relation!) and Rincewind played the part of the Megapode... putting his natural abilities for running away very fast to good use.

A Bledlow is a university porter or guard, and usually a retired Watchman or similar.

Don't be smart. Smart is only a polished version of dumb. Try intelligence. It will surely see you through.

2 points

Ponder Stibbons

"It is a well-known fact in any organization more...1 point

Nutt

"You are very kind," he beamed, "an more...1 point

Vetinari

"If there is any kind of supreme being (I tol more...1 point

She had decided tonight that she couldn't read unwritten rules.

1 point

We go on saying things as if it was some kind of holy truth, when it just means that we've run out of an argument.

1 point

Juliet's version of Cleanliness was next to godliness, which was erratic, past all understanding and seldom seen.

1 point

I see evil when I look in my shaving mirror

It is, philosophically, present everywhere in the more...1 point

I would like you to teach them civilised behaviour, said Ladyship coldly

He appeared to consider this. Yes of course, I thi more...1 point

Glenda

A couple of graduate wizards were working in the university more...0 points

Glenda

Very slowly, Glenda raised her right hand into a f more...0 points

Glenda Juliet and the Conductor

'...Just speak with a little more class, eh? You don't more...0 points

"as an eyewitness the average person is as reliable as a Meringue lifejacket"

0 points

Why is there a certain cast of the military mind which leads sensible people to do again, with gusto, what didn't work before.

0 points

Mustrum Ridcully

"ow do I know I can trust you?" said the more...0 points

"The important thing about football is that it isn't about football."

0 points

Terry Pratchett

"Jesus, though, how could you satirise modern more...0 points

gloing

0 points

"ANY BOY WHOSE NOT BROUGHT HIS KIT WILL PLAY IN HIS PANTS"

(Possessed Whistle... :D )0 points

Glenda

"Glenda sat down and started to read. A lifet more...0 points

Glenda thought...

"I used to be able to read you like a book--o more...0 points

Bledlow Nobbs (no relation)

0 points

'Never seen that before,' said a wine waiter beside her.

'Seen what before?'
'Seen his lordship drinking. He more...0 points

The Patrician took a sip of his beer.

"I have told this to few people, gentlemen, a more...0 points

'Well, yes, but it's not about the football.' 'You're saying that football is not about football?'

Glenda wished she'd had a proper education, or, failing more...0 points

I would not like it thought that I do not buy my own paperclips, sir. I enjoy owning my own paperclips. It means they are mine.

0 points

You were safe on a troll. Anyone wanting to mug a troll would have to use a building on a stick.

0 points

created by Flynn_the_Cat
"But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as drunk as a skunk, Drumknott, which of course means skunks are just as drunk as I. I must say the term is unfamiliar to me, and I had not thought hitherto of skunks in this context, but Mustrum Ridcully was kind enough to enlighten me."

Unseen Academicals [With Earbuds] (Playaway Adult Fiction)

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Lord Vetinari decides it is time to treat football (soccer to Americans) like crime; if you are going to have it, it should be organized. Ponder Stibbons learns the power of managing the agenda and mastering tradition. Ankh-Morpork finds the Disc's first super-model, and tries to figure out exactly why this should matter to anyone. The power of pie is explored. More insinuations, inuendo, and hints as to the relationship between Lord Vetinari and a mature lady from %uFFFDberwald. And Mr. Nutt is introduced and acquires worth. Along with the usual cultural literacy exam.

Again, Terry Pratchett has outdone himself. "Unseen Academicals" is a brilliant and complex story with many threads beautifully woven together. The lives of the most powerful people in Ankh-Morpork intersect with the lives of the most humble on the Disc.

Cooks, candlemakers, and the fans and players of foot-the-ball of the neighborhoods of Ankh-Morpork find their lives turned upside down when the Wizards of U.U. find they must play soccer, or limit themselves to only three meals a day. And behind this, a humble and hard working... man, Nutt is trying to gain worth, earn respect, and make friends, none of which come naturally to him. Old characters return, one having substituted 'x' for 'cks', new characters abound. References to Shakespeare and pop culture (for lack of a better word) collide.

Short Stories Games & Misc

Wear the LilacThis final page has one theme : it is something to do with Terry Pratchett. From the list of his short stories, mostly available for free online, but not always, to the Discworld music, the calendars and Mappes (all themed accordingly - whether they be of Death's Domain, Lancre, or the Assassins Yearbook), the Discworld MUD, the computer games, the miniatures, the plays (several of the books have been adapted for the stage) or the very much worth reading Science of the Discworld series.

Any of these would make fantastic gifts for the Discworld addict in your family who has Read the Lot and Wants More. Some have Squidoo reviews, most don't - but you are welcome to write one, and of course, check out the reviews on Amazon. Most of them are worth buying - the fold out maps are excellent, for example, lovingly illustrated by Paul Kidby - (with the exception of the Wit and Wisdom of the Discworld which is only worth it if you haven't read all the books, as it brings nothing new and leaves out much that is good). And of course, if you check out the Wear the Lilac page, you can buy your Discworld-lover a towel or jewelry to commemorate the 25th of May (and raise money for Alzheimer's research).

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Where to find short stories by Terry Pratchett

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Discworld Graphic Novels

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Where's My Cow

This is a book about reading a book, which turns into a different book. But it all ends happily!

Where's My Cow is the book Sam Vimes reads to his son in Thud... more or less!

Where's My Cow?

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The Annual Discworld Yearbook and Diary

A limited edition yearly diary from different Discworld Guilds and Orders

Each year (more or less), a limited edition diary/ yearbook comes out, ostensibly produced by a Guild, the Unseen University, Lu-Tze, and even the City Watch.

  • 1998 Unseen University Yearbook
  • 1999 Ankh-Morpork City Watch Yearbook
  • 2000 Assassin's Guild Yearbook
  • 2001 Fool's Guild Yearbook
  • 2002 Discworld Thieves' Guild Yearbook
  • 2003 Discworld (Reformed) Vampyre's Diary
  • 2005 The Discworld Almanak : The Year of the Prawn: (The Discworld Almanac for the Common Year 2005)
  • 2007 The Ankh-Morpork Post Office Handbook
  • 2008 Lu-Tze's Yearbook of Enlightenment

    They're more worth it as a collector's item than for the content - the content is good, and amusing, but... probably not worth the collectible price simply for its reading matter (although if it's still quite recent, then it's MUCH more affordable!) The diary itself has a lot of renamed days and extra dates and facts and would be awesomely fun to use, but more of a curiousity in later years.

    For example, in the Assassin's Guild Yearbook & Diary, the bulk of the content is the history of the Guild, various related anecdotes and a lot about the rules and regulations. From what I can recall, most of it is reprinted in New Discworld Companion (basically a paperback encyclopaedia)
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    Discworld Feature Films and TV Adaptations

    The Discworld on the big screen!

    There have been nearly half a dozen animated television series based on the Discworld so far. The three Discworld films to date are all actually adaptations for television, by Sky in the UK. Going Postal, the latest film (and arguably the most successful interpretation) is only available in the UK, or as an import.

    However, the film rights to a handful of books have been sold, and various people have stated that they want to actually make the films of the books! There's also an upcoming television series of the City Watch.

    Terry Pratchett's Discworld Collection (Wyrd Sisters / Soul Music)Animated TV series
    Only Wyrd Sisters & Soul Music generally available (together)

  • Truckers (Cosgrove Hall Films, 1992)
  • Johnny and the Dead (Children's ITV, 1995)
  • Wyrd Sisters (Cosgrove Hall for Channel 4, 1998)
  • Soul Music (Cosgrove Hall for Channel 4, 1997)
  • Johnny and the Bomb (BBC One, 2006)


  • Live adaptations for television
  • Hogfather (2006)
  • The Color of Magic (2008)
  • Going Postal (2010)

    Potential films
    None of these are actually in production yet

  • The Wee Free Men, to be directed by Sam Raimi (no other news)
  • 2007 - Good Omens to be directed by Terry Gilliam (needs funding)
  • 2001 - Truckers, adapted by Andrew Adamson and Joe Stillman, commissioned by Dreamworks (not apparently to be made any time soon)
  • 2008 - Truckers, adapted by Frank Cottrell Boyce, to be directed by Danny Boyle

  • Science of the Discworld

    Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question.

    As humans, we have invented lots of useful kinds of lie. As well as lies-to-children ('as much as they can understand') there are lies-to-bosses ('as much as they need to know') lies-to-patients ('they won't worry about what they don't know') and, for all sorts of reasons, lies-to-ourselves. Lies-to-children is simply a prevalent and neccesary kind of lie. Universities are very familiar with bright, qualified school-leavers who arrive and then go into shock on finding that biology or physics isn't quite what they've been taught so far. 'Yes, but you needed to understand that,' they are told, 'so that now we can tell you why it isn't exactly true.' Discworld teachers know this, and use it to demonstrate why universities are truly storehouses of knowledge: students arrive from school confident that they know very nearly everything, and they leave years later certain that they know practically nothing. Where did the knowledge go in the meantime? Into the university, of course, where it is carefully dried and stored.
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    'Collecting was enormous popular among the English of this century. Bones, shells, butterflies, birds, other people's countries...'

    Discworld is real. It's the way worlds should work. Admittedly, it is flat and goes through space on the back of four elephants which stand on the shell of a giant turtle, but consider the alternatives.
    Consider, for example, a globular world, a mere crust upon an inferno of molten rock and iron. An accidental world, made of the wreckage of old stars, the home of life which, nevertheless, in a most unhomely fashion, is regularly scythed from its surface by ice, gas, inundation or falling rocks travelling at 20,000 miles an hour.

    The Science of Discworld III: Darwin's Watch (Discworld) by Terry Pratchett, Ian Stewart, Jack Cohen

    The Science of Discworld III: Darwin's Watch (Discworld) by Terry Pratchett, Ian Stewart, Jack Cohen

    The Darwin family motto: cave et aude. Watch, and listen more...1 point

    The Science of Discworld II: The Globe by Terry Pratchett, Ian Stewart, Jack Cohen

    The Science of Discworld II: The Globe by Terry Pratchett, Ian Stewart, Jack Cohen

    Elf Queen: You have forgotten that there is no nar more...0 points

    Discworld: The Plays

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    Disworld Plays: The City Watch

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    Discworld: The Mapps

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    Extras for someone who already loves the Discworld books

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    Discworld Extras

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    Discworld Miniatures

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    Discworld Games

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    Discworld gaming: MUD

    You can have a look at the Discworld MUD here
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    GURPS Discworld Also

    A second visit to GURPS Discworld...

    GURPS Discworld Also

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    In GURPS Discworld, gamers visited the strange and wonderful setting of Terry Pratchett's best-selling novels. Everyone had such a good time that we've booked a second trip! Our guide for GURPS Discworld Also will again be Phil Masters; he promises that the Dungeon Dimensions are not on the itinerary, and Mr Dibbler's meat pies are not on the menu.
    You will, however, visit the Lost Continent of XXXX (and its Cart Wars), meet the Hermit Elephants and a very big troll, and go on a mission for Unseen University to find out why the Librarian's supply of bananas has dried up . . .

    Studies of fantasy

    More interesting books about or by Pratchett

    These books all discuss either Pratchett's writing and fantasy, or include him as an author.
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    Music From the Discworld

    Greenslade is an outstanding musician and that is fairly obvious on some tracks, particularly the "orchestral" ones. Even on the lighter, more humorous numbers (e.g. Wizard's Staff) his talent shines through. "Small Gods" and "Wyrd Sisters" are simply great, really atmospheric and involving.

    If you like music with more than 3 chords and intelligent, skillful arrangements then give this one a chance. And if on top of that you're into Discworld then I think you'll like Greenslade's interpretation of Terry Pratchett's work.

    From the Discworld

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    Amazon Music Sampler 1. A-Tuin the Turtle Listen 2. Octarine the Colour of Magic Listen 3. Luggage Listen 4. Shades of the Ankh-Morpork Listen 5. Wyrd Sisters Listen 6. Unseen University/The Librarian Listen 7. Death Listen 8. Wizard's Staff Has a Knob on the End Listen 9. Dryads Listen 10. Pyramids Listen 11. Small Gods Listen 12. Stick and Bucket Dance Listen 13. One Horseman and Three Pedestrians of the Apocralypse Listen 14. Holy Wood Dreams Listen

    Discworld Music

    Check out my favorite songs! I've handpicked these MP3s from Amazon. Take a listen. If you like, you can click to buy them on Amazon.

    Gifts For A Discworld Fan

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    Guestbook

    Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

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    Guestbook

    The point is that descriptive writing is very rarely entirely accurate and during the reign of Olaf Quimby II as Patrician of Ankh some legislation was passed in a determined attempt to put a stop to this sort of thing and introduce some honesty into repo

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    In case you hadn't noticed, I'm rather fond of Pratchett's books

    About Me

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    The Discworld Mapp 

    "I said there would never be a map of the Discworld. This is it."

    The Discworld Mapp

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    I love these! They make awesome gifts - they're tiny little booklets, and then you discover that this huge and beautifully detailed map of the Discworld unfolds. And the other half of the booklet is actually a booklet, full of stories and 'facts' that you don't find elsewhere, written in typical Pratchett style.

    I Shall Wear Midnight


    The fourth in the young adult series following the young witch Tiffany Aching as she tramps in her giant boots from her shepherd roots on the Chalk, up to Lancre and back, attracting unfortunate allies with minds of their own, and the flattering and even more unfortunate attentions of Winter itself and Granny Weatherwax. I Shall Wear Midnight came out in September 2010

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