A Prayer Full Of Miracles

My Dear Carlyn and Chad,

For as long as I can remember, I have loved to sing. I sang in the children's choir at church, I sang in the car, I sang while riding my bicycle or on the swings in the yard. The music continued on in my head when I went to bed at night.

When I was four years old, my favorite television show was Liberace. I loved to watch his fingers slide over the keyboard and the sound they made was amazing.

At the age of ten, I met Olivia. She was only ten months old and had the biggest, blue eyes you have ever seen. Whenever she saw me, they glistened with delight. I was allowed to take care of her sometimes while her mother was busy with other things. Of course, I fell in love.

This little girl was the first of many children to walk through my life. I loved spending time with these children. And they gave me their love without the asking. I always marveled at their abilities and their acceptance of me and my love in return. I could fill their need to be well taken care of in the absence of their parents and they filled a void inside of me I could not explain.

As a teenager, my friends told me I should study and really take my music seriously. However, I never really had the self confidence to pursue it alone.

At the age of twenty, I married your father, who was in the Air Force, and moved to Athens, Greece. Music remained my passion, until I was twenty-two and began to want a baby of my own.

However, no matter how hard we tried, we could not have a child. Our doctor ran numerous tests and finally told us there would be no children for your father and me.

During this same time, I caught Strep Throat. Since I no longer had my tonsils, the Strep virus coated my vocal chords. I totally lost my voice for three months and the doctor told me he did not feel, due to the severe damage, I would ever sing again.

It was too much. I had lost both things in my life for which I found hope and was most passionate, at the same time. I was so angry, I refused to pray. God had always walked with me throughout my life. I could not understand why He had allowed this to happen to me.

Six months later, I was still unable to sing, though my speaking voice had returned.

One Friday night in May of 1976, I went to visit a friend. As soon as I arrived, she sat down, beginning to play her piano, and ask me to sing with her. Of course, it was of no use. A voice that had once filled large church sanctuaries was now reduced to only a whisper. After a few minutes, we decided, instead, to work together on a craft for her three year old Sunday School class. I picked up the pieces of construction paper, intending to help her, but I began to cry again.

At that moment, she took my hands and began to pray. I wanted to break loose from her grasp and run so badly. However, she was my friend and I did not want to hurt her, so I sat rigid and waited for her to finish. She prayed first for my voice and its renewed strength. Then she prayed for a child. She ended her prayer with, "Thy will be done."

When she had finished, she ask me to attend church on Sunday night for the beginning of revival. I told her not to look for me, said my goodbyes, and left.

Once Sunday night arrived, however, I decided to attend for her sake. I knew she was only trying to be helpful.

As we stood that evening for the closing hymn, I again tried to sing. It was a particular favorite of mine and I wanted to sing the words and share the music so badly. All of a sudden, my throat opened and a voice escaped that was strange to me. It was still a high soprano but no longer the soft, quiet voice I had known. Instead, it filled the church sanctuary. My friend, who was playing the piano, missed a measure, and the pastor just stood and stared in my direction.

Needless to say, my anger toward God melted away at the moment, never to return.

In January of 1977, at the age of 26, just months after that night I sat in my friend's kitchen listening to her prayer, I found I was expecting our first child, a little girl with the biggest and bluest eyes you have ever seen! That was you, Carlyn.

Three years later, you came along, Chad, an eleven pound miracle, who had the hospital in a turmoil.

The doctor, who had once told us there would be no children, was as astounded as everyone else. However, I wasn't surprised because I had witnessed what God can do, in his own time, that night in a little church in Sumter, South Carolina.

"Life is a series of surprises, and would not be worth taking or keeping if it were not." Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have often teased my friend about her "Hotline to Heaven." But whenever I have a prayer request, I always get in touch with her.

As I have said, I have had a passion for many things during my life. By the age of thirty, I had come to realize their importance. God took the lead in my life. My children became the essence of my life. Music still gave me great joy but now took a back seat to the two of you.

I think, sometimes, about what my life might have been if I had pursued the music career so many tried to get me to see in myself. But I know I made the right choice because nothing could be more wonderful than my children. I could never have filled my life in the way you have and still do. My success is measured by the success of my children.

As a Christian, using my God given ability in church has been more rewarding than any worldly praise or fortune I could have obtained. As I age, I find the old damage from so many years ago is now raising its head once again and I know just how lucky I have been to have had so many years to use my voice for His service and that those years are now numbered.

Over the years, God has placed, in my path, so many children in need of my love and attention. Some were with me for a short time and some will remain in my life forever. Had I followed my own early desires, I would have missed a lifetime of perfect moments within God's plan.

Our lives are as a library, filled with a few books written by our own hand. However, the majority of pages that fill this library were written by God. If only we would take the time to follow their instruction.

What we think we want most right now may not be what is best for us. Therefore, believe in the power of prayer. As Lee did that night years ago, ask "Thy will be done," and then allow God his own time to answer.

Never forget, the two of you have been wanted and loved, from the very beginning, with every part of my being. Nothing could ever take your place in my life or my heart. Of all the things God has given me, the miracles of my children have been the most wonderful.

Mom

"The great use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts it." William James

Now that my children are grown, I no longer have the power to protect them. However, I have placed them in God's hands. He has the power to place a league of Angels in their path, always watching over them.

God's love cannot be placed under glass, but must be experienced each and every day. It is His gift to each of us for a lifetime and beyond.

Though we are so very insignificant within such a vast universe, if we can make God a little more than real to one single human being, we have not wasted our walk in vain.

If all my pain and all my tears
And all that I have learned,
Throughout the years
Could form one perfect song.
To lift some darkened mind
To make his pathway clear,
I should feel that not in vain
I have truly lived.

Born in the small town of Pendleton, South Carolina, in 1950, I was the oldest of two, five years my sister's senior. It was a wonderful place to grow up where the entire town raised its children. I was always surrounded by people who loved and looked out for me. I graduated from High School with the same people who were in my kindergarten class. At 58, my childhood friends are still my friends. I feel so fortunate to have known such a childhood.

After college, I worked at Clemson University until May 1972. At that time, I married and lived in Glyfada, 22 miles from Athens, Greece for two years...via USAF. We then moved to North Dakota for another two years before returning to South Carolina.

We divorced after 16 years and two children. I married my best friend two years later and moved to Florida in 1988 and together we have raised my husband's son and daughter and my son and daughter...one federal officer, one pastor's wife, one sixth grade school teacher, and the other, after working for Florida Power and Light since age 19, is now with AT&T. In 1996, I adopted my step daughter. We are blessed with four grandsons and one granddaughter.

In 1999, we became foster parents with the Children's Home Society and had a number of children under our roof in the next 5 years. In 2001, we adopted a 13 year old girl, whom we first met at the age of 11, and is now 21. I also have spent more time in a courtroom than I care to think about, fighting for the rights of the children in our care. In 2004, I turned in my license so that I could be a full time Mom to our special needs daughter and keep our infant granddaughter five days a week while her mother was teaching.

Bill, my husband, is a retired USAF Air Traffic Controller. He is now working out of the country, on Ascension Island, with Computer Science Raytheon, as their chief controller, contracted out of Patrick AFB, Florida. This enables him to continue to do the job he loves, air traffic, and aid the military. He flies in and out on furlough and I handle things here at home. I jokingly call myself a Single Married Woman.

Actually, I am a retired Accountant/Credit Manager, now a housewife, where I enjoy writing, singing, piano, and sewing. I have had numerous poems and short stories published and have sung in churches and for church organizations for years, as well as weddings, a couple of variety shows, and even at my daughter's, and later my son's, weddings, one of the hardest things I have EVER done. We are members of a Baptist church where I am a soloist and sing in the choir. I am also a member of the Women's Bible Study Group and work on the Mission's Committee.

And, last but not least, we have two singing dogs. Raven is a thirteen year old Skipperkee/Chow with bucked teeth and attitude and Whisper, our nine pound poodle, who thinks himself a Doberman.

I have been Mom To The Zoo since the morning after our wedding. My friend, Lee, who was staying with our four children and two dogs answered the phone from a sound sleep, "Hunt Zoo, Zookeeper Speaking."

My life has involved many changes and avenues that I would never have dreamed of and has given me challenges that I never thought I was equal to. But, I have found that God has a plan and, if you follow His lead, you can handle anything he puts in your hands. However, you have to first learn to listen to Him. No matter what we want from life, it must come in His time. He has given my husband and me more than we could have began to imagine back in high school and we have found that what we thought was so important for our futures back then was nothing to what we have done so far. At 58, I have learned from our foster children, to look forward to the future and the next challenge with enthusiasm and excitement. If they can trust and love us after what the world has dealt them, we can surely tackle whatever lies ahead with ease. Life is a series of learning experiences and I continue to find life to be both a challenge and a joy which grows with each passing year. I learn more and more about myself with each passing day!

Jeanie