As a soon to be new mom, I am going through a lot these days. A lot of it was expected. Such as gaining weight, having cravings, feeling the baby kick. Other things are not so expected.

Today I would like to announce:
I pee when I sneeze

That's right, and not only when I sneeze, but when I cough, and laugh as well. Now, I don't want you thinking that every time I sneeze I have a puddle of pee around my feet, no, it's just a wee bit of wee, really. But even though it is just a wee, and no one else can possibly see, I still get embarrassed.

I guess I just thought "it couldn't possibly happen to me, I'm strong like bull" but I guess those little muscles just couldn't handle being under so much pressure, and showed me how wrong I was, right in the middle of Wal*Mart.

So now I am doing the kegel exercises all of the time. When I'm on the phone, when I'm at the store, walking down the street, even writing this little tidbit. It is helping, but I just know I could have avoided most of this by starting early - and often. It isn't much work really.

If you are thinking about having a baby, or just got the positive pregnancy test result - start now - work those muscles that often get ignored. And the best part is you can do them anywhere, anytime, and you won't even work up a sweat.

* You can do them while shopping. It can be fun walking around the store doing those kind of exercises. You know what you are doing, but no one else does, it sometimes makes me giggle.

* You can do it while sitting in front of the computer all day avoiding other things you should be doing. You'll won't feel as bad as you would - you'll actually feel like you did something good for yourself - while just reading and rating reviews.

* You can do it while on the potty - this is actually a really good idea. Practice those kegels by stopping your pee in midstream a few times. If you can successfully stop your pee - you're doing it right!

And the best one is...

* You can do it while having sex. This one is nice for a few reasons - it gives those little muscles something to grip onto (hopefully, right?) and it will be like a little surprise for your partner, and the stronger you get - the better those little surprises will be.

Those little muscles do matter, and you don't want to find out the way that it did.

Next time you see a pregnant woman sneeze, think of that little baby bouncing up and down on her bladder, but please, don't laugh. I swear it's just a wee.

Tomorrow I am getting my routine 23 week Ultrasound

At around 10 weeks pregnant I went to the hospital because of bleeding. After not hearing a heartbeat, they ordered an ultrasound - the ultrasound found that the baby was OK, there was just some blood around him, and they still aren't sure what happened, but told me everything was fine. And they also said they thought it was a boy! However upon talking to my regular doctor about this he laughed, saying "there is no way they know the sex this early", so now, I am back to unsure.

I am now 23 weeks along, time for the ultrasound.

When I first made the appointment it was all excitement. I get to see the baby! I will finally know if it is a boy or a girl! But upon reading about ultrasounds, the reality of this routine ultrasound set in.

The doctors don't care about the sex of my baby. They want to make sure it's brains, heart, lungs, everything is developing normally. I have also heard they can look for little signs of some disabilities such as down syndrome. So now, I am freaking out. Is my baby OK? He is kicking all of the time now, he reacts to my touches, and my voice at times. But he could still have something wrong.

I am Having nightmares that my baby is a half turtle, half human. Seems funny now, but when you are in these ultra realistic dreams, they are anything but funny.

I really just want them to tell me that I am having a perfect little boy/girl. But the fear that they won't is taking over as the clock ticks closer to 3:30pm June 27th.

On a side Note: I also have to drink 16 oz. of fluid 1 hour before the ultrasound. Now, if you read my last entry, you know how hard this will be. Perhaps I shall were a diaper. I never thought in my life I would ever actually prefer a catheter.

I love being pregnant, really I do. I love feeling my wonderful baby boy kick, I love hearing his heartbeat inside of me at the doctors' office, I'll admit, I love the attention, and I love being able to eat a bit more and not feel bad about it. Of course there are pregnancy woes, but for me, the good parts outweigh the bad by far.

My baby is very active, I feel him kick and move around all of the time now. I am never alone, and he makes sure I know that. Sometimes I play with him by poking him back. I am even making a video of his movements throughout my pregnancy week by week. I never want to forget this feeling, though I fear I will someday.

When I hear his heartbeat every other week at my doctors it reminds me once again that a real human is growing inside of me. Of course many women go through this all of the time, every day millions of babies are born - but it feels so personal, so special to me to know my body is capable of this.

People always notice now. They open doors for me more now. They move out of my way, they help me out all of the time. People look at me differently as well, even strangers. I almost always get a smile just for walking by - and I love that. Of course there is the downside of every other woman wanting to tell me her birth story or complete strangers asking me if I am going to breastfeed, but again the good outweighs the bad.

Sometimes it makes me sad when I think about having the baby. Only because I know I will no longer have this great feeling. The hope is the feelings of overwhelming love for my son will outweigh the loss, but I'll admit it scares me.

I love my pregnant body. Sure, I don't like the stretch marks, or how my thighs seem to be growing at the same rate as my belly, but overall I really love it. I love looking in the mirror naked now - something I never did before. I love my big round belly - I feel more like a woman now than ever. Also - the big boobs are very nice.

But the best part is - my husband loves my pregnant body. He once said "I love touching and looking at it as I may never see your pregnant body again". We don't know if we will have any more children. Physically this pregnancy has been rough on me. I have gestational diabetes; I am in pain all of the time, and am always fatigued. We may have another but for now; it's not on the agenda. So I am trying to cherish each and every moment of this pregnancy knowing it may be the last.

I feel grateful that my husband loves my pregnant body. He is always rubbing my belly, talking to my belly and just loving on it. I know there are men out there who are completely turned off by a pregnant woman; my man is not one of them, thankfully. Of course, again, the big boobs are a big help.

So in my final two months, my main goal is to just enjoy it. No matter how painful getting out of bed in the middle of the night with a full bladder is, no matter how bad the heartburn is - to really enjoy it.