New Mom's Prenatal Calendar

Lesson One: Hold Your Tongue

If you've been trying for a baby, you'll be itching to get the word out to your friends and family. Feel free to spread the word once you've seen the doctor and gotten the thumbs up.

However, if you're soon-to-be bundle of joy has snuck up on you, hold the phone at first. Take some time to assess how you feel about your new status in life (they call it "Expecting"). If you're feeling anything but total joy, you may say or do things that could tarnish your memory of this important time in your child's life. Talk to your partner if possible, and confide in a close friend or family member. Don't bottle up your feelings, but take care with them.

This first month can be one of the scariest, as you consider all the changes ahead, not only in yourself but your environment as well. There's a lot of planning to do, decisions to make, and things to worry about (some of them unnecessary, but totally natural). These thoughts, combined with all of your other feelings - joy, excitement, anxiety, you name it - can be difficult to sort through. Seek out help from people very close to you.

Once you've cleared the air, and you can truly enjoy knowing what lies ahead, then it will be time to share your news with the world. If you speak too soon, your apprehension may overshadow your delight. It's not likely that anyone will remember that you weren't jumping for joy, but you probably will. Save the announcements until you DO feel like singing and throwing confetti - it will make for happy memories and maybe even some pleasant anecdotes for the toddler you'll one day have.

Lesson Two: Love Your Bathroom

If you're unlucky enough to be struck with morning sickness, you will probably have to accept the fact that nothing can make it go away but time. Most medicinal stomach remedies are off limits for the Expecting, and chances are your own home remedies like ginger ale and crackers will fall short as well.

The inevitable need to hang out near the toilet bowl can get old pretty fast. To help make things more bearable, here are a few tips:

Keep it clean and tidy
Do a good all over clean of the bathroom once or twice a week. Have a friend or family member help out with scrubbing the fixtures when you're unable to. Remember to go easy on the cleaning chemicals - buy organic or use plain soap and baking soda if you can.

Brighten it up
Pick up a few decorations or other improvements that will make the space more pleasant. Flowers, candles or even some art will make it feel more like a lounge and less like a prison. If you have the option, ask a friend to throw on a new coat of paint - green shades have a calming affect.

Make it comfy
Depending on how much time you spend waiting for the nausea to go away, you may want to invest in a fluffy bath mat, or even a cushion. Keep a clean water glass in your medicine cabinet for drinking and rinsing, and if you don't normally buy facial tissue, consider picking some up. (Remember to recycle the box once it's empty.)

Lesson Three: Get Busy!

Now is the time to finish up any and all loose ends that you may have been putting off. Fairly soon, you will be too round to get around as much as you used to. Even if you feel up to it, you may find the people around you insisting that you 'take it easy'. It may be irritating, but you'll be grateful for it when you really are feeling big and helpless.

If you plan on moving, renovating or doing your spring cleaning, get it out of the way as soon as possible. You'll have a lot more things to keep you busy - and exhausted - before you know it. Also take the time to do any traveling that you need to do, like visiting relatives that won't be able to make the trip to see the new addition in seven months. If some of your big item shopping requires going out of town, set aside a day or two to get it all done so you don't have to worry.

Lesson Four: Don't Make Eye Contact

If you are outgoing, talkative or bubbly, you will probably enjoy this time in your life. People love a pregnant woman, and will go out of their way to talk with you.

Unfortunately, if you're a private person, this could make you pretty miserable every time you leave the house. Although it's poor etiquette to start a conversation with someone based solely on their appearance, total strangers will bother you with all manner of personal queries. Whether they love babies in general, or just like to chat, people will now consider your body an open topic for discussion.

The most common thing you will hear is "When is your baby due?" It seems harmless enough, but after answering this question 50 times, you may feel like writing your due date on a name tag just to keep from repeating yourself.


You should also be prepared to listen to embarrassing pregnancy jokes or stories. Some people don't think before they speak. If you're very unfortunate, at least one person will rub or pat your belly without permission. Don't feel bad about smacking their hand - your personal space doesn't disappear just because you're pregnant.

Lesson Five: Goodbye to Sleep

During the day, you may have to put up with the fun phrase "Eating for two" every time you eat or order food in public. As if that's not annoying enough, you may find that daytime eating isn't adequate for both of you. After you've finally found a position that's comfortable enough to fall asleep, it'll be time to get up for a middle of the night snack. And you thought 3am feedings were a long way off!

If you have daytime obligations like work or other children, it may help to keep a selection of snacks next to your bed. This way, you can fuel up quickly without waking yourself up entirely, and get back to sleep sooner.

Lesson Six: Make New Friends

If you've had any complaints so far about pregnancy, you may have been venting to your friends, family and co-workers. People may start to roll their eyes or look bored as soon as you say "Do you know what the worst thing about being pregnant is?" If that's the case, then it's time to find a new outlet.

The internet is the easiest way to find and interact with other expecting and experienced parents. Find a forum that suits you and let out all of your worries and frustrations. Starting your own blog is easy and free, and can be a great way to let out all the feelings you're having each day.

If you prefer the face-to-face approach, you can join a prenatal class or other support group for parents-to-be.

Lesson Seven: Keep Moving

Although getting around with a big bulb attached to your middle can be difficult, it's important to stay somewhat active - as long as there are no health risks for you or baby that should keep you resting. In just a few weeks, you'll need as much stamina as you can muster to help your baby make it's first appearance.

Walking is a simple and easy to do exercise that you can incorporate into your everyday routine. Take an extra loop around the block on your way home from the store, or take the dog out for an extra stroll after dinner. If you feel way too wobbly or have sore feet, a short bounce around in a swimming pool can help you relax while getting some activity at the same time.

Lesson Eight: Get Sorting

If you're fortunate enough to have friends and family with young children, you may not have to make many purchases of baby clothes and accessories. Hopefully the hand-me-downs have started to flow in, and this is a great time to find a home for all of them.

After washing and sorting - baking soda is a great way to disinfect without bleach - make sure that the things you will use right away are the most accessible. After you've figured out what you do have, make a list of what you don't, and share it with friends and family who may want to bring baby gifts in the weeks to come.

Remember that you can never have enough baby clothes, receiving blankets or wash cloths.

Lesson Nine: Set it and Forget It

After reading parenting and baby care books, you probably have a pretty good idea of what you would prefer your baby's first year to be like. You should decide how you would like to approach issues like: formula or breast-milk feedings; disposable or cloth diapers; co-sleeping or cradle.

Once you know what you're determined to do, prepare to change your mind. Although your decisions are important, it is just as important to remember that not everything goes as planned. Trying to stick to a routine that doesn't work can be stressful for you, the baby and your family as a whole.

Don't feel guilty if you just can't find the energy to wash cloth diapers, or find breastfeeding exclusively to be too stressful. There's no such thing as a perfect plan! Always discuss concerns about baby's health with your doctor.

Lesson Ten: You're the Boss

If you've chosen to deliver in a hospital - and the choice should be yours if you have no complications or health risks - remember that you have made the choice to be there.

Except in an emergency, when your health or the baby's health is at risk, you still make all the decisions about your body, your family, and your child.

Doing your research about delivery procedures, hospital policies, and your rights as a patient can help make the birthing experience better for you and those that share it with you.

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