Is this a proper form of communication?

I picked this picture because its a good visual for communication don't you think?  STOP, LOOK and LISTEN!

I go to a number of faith boards online, and I read these similiar stories again and again.  I also hear the same responses, but I have to say there are a select few that do hear.  I decided to give you a short description of the full article on my blog.  This woman was just trying to get some advice as to HOW to communicate with her husband, and to me they totally blew her off!

There was a post recently about how a couple works for the same company, and they drive to work together. His position there is sounds like is very satisfying to him. She went and finished her degree, and then was offered a job in that area. She mentioned that her husband is very happy where he is, and she is a bit bored with her position there. She was looking for something else a bit more up her alley. When she approached him with this exciting offer he was very upset!

1)  It would depress him if she took the job.

2)  It would be awful for her to work somewhere else.

3)  When she attempted to speak about WHY she wanted this job he became very angry. Tells her that she is never satisfied, and she needs to be okay with what she has.

There was no mention of children or anything else here. If you read the post you could feel her frustration…all she wanted to do was talk about it. He placed this wall up and refused!

Some of the responses didn't even address her concern, but they sure did do a good job making her feel badly about WORKING for one!

See? This is what happens when women set foot outside the home. Confusion, strife... women should stay IN the home where they belong!
(Sorry - had a strange entity possess my keyboard.)

Seriously, though, if I was in your situation and my husband was that dead set against the new job, I'd stay where I was. Is the new job worth causing marital problems? So I'd stay there and pray for my husband, that if it's God's will for me to get a new job, He'd change my husband's heart in the matter.
At this point you can't cajole your husband about this or persuade him - his mind's made up. The best way to change his mind is to have God change it for you.

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I can't say I disagree with ALL of the comments above okay? I do think they are missing the boat on the real issue here! The issue is his response will cause walls of resentment to be built up, and she will no longer feel free to speak her mind! She attempts to speak to him, and he gets mad! She tries to explain to him she wants a bit more in her job, and he tells her she is never content. The issue these ladies seem to be missing is the communication factor! He is going out of his way to stop all communication within the relationship, and these ladies are saying, "That's okay!" They ignore his selfish responses, and ask her who is more important the job or him?

They are encouraging them NOT to communicate on any real level. He will get upset if you talk - so don't! Shallow what is inside of you, and don't address the fact this man needs to communicate better! If you can't do that you aren't doing your job as a woman! Have the Lord hit him over the head with this fact it's not your job to point it out. LOL and they wonder why so many marriages are in trouble in the churches! Their verses they love to type out so much on the keyboard about submission, etc are just fine! It seems they are missing the point that God encourages things to go both ways in order for the relationship to grow! Don't gloss over the fact that he acknowledges if you don't you will have issues. LOL Its not because of your faith either its because of debits between the two of you. How is your husband going to learn to love you more and more as the years pass if you can't even bring up something that bothers you! How is he going to know you in any real sense if you are not allowed to question? Everyone's feelings and concerns are important! You hear people scream about communication, and yet you hear others discouraging it at the same time. Why?

It seems to be people are asking others to stuff their feelings, and ask God to change them so they don't feel so lost. You are not allowed to speak with the person you have issue with. Just pray for a change of heart, and wait for it happen. Okay then. I'm waiting for the book to come out now. "Do all for your man, and don't worry about you! That is what God wants you to do! Encourage men to be selfish!"

Bleck! I refuse to step foot into that conversation! I sent her a private message instead.

The entire article is here on our blog:  Emotional Abuse and Your Faith