Proper Etiquette Before, During and After an Interview/Meeting

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BEFORE A MEETING/INTERVIEW

Proper etiquette for meetings or interviews can be baffling for many people. Yet, for young people just starting out, the sand traps of doing the wrong thing can be numerous. This lens is to help you avoid those sand traps.

The first thing to think about when you have a meeting or interview is:

What do you wear?

Dress up rather than down if you're unsure what to wear.

Numerous books go into detail about how you should dress for various situations. Do your research on the particular company/profession when deciding what to wear to an interview or meeting. Different occupations have different "looks" for the workplace.

The term "dress" includes clean and appropriate clothing, clean and appropriate hair (including well-trimmed beards), clean and appropriate fingernails, and minimal make-up. Also, no sandals or flip-flops unless you're applying for a beach lifeguard job. Make sure your shoes are polished and your heels aren't run-down. Leave all excessive jewelry at home - especially your nose, tongue or eyebrow rings.

Know what to do about multiple earrings and visible tattoos.

For females only one (or at the most two) earrings per ear. For males no earrings unless you know that this is acceptable in the particular industry in which you are interviewing.

And if you have tattoos - wear clothing that covers them unless you know that tattoos are considered very appropriate by the person with whom you are meeting.

No smell of any kind - neither body odor nor perfume/cologne.

Yes, there should be no smell of any kind. Besides use of deodorant, soap and water to prevent unpleasant smells, there should be a total absence of any smell because many people are allergic to cologne and perfume. Before a meeting leave off using any cologne, perfume or aftershave. In other words, no smells at all, including no perfumed soaps.

And to go along with all of the above, use a mirror to practice "wearing" a smile as you talk. You want to make sure your face is pleasant to look at when you're meeting with people. They'll remember you as an upbeat person.

What else do you need to do to be ready for an interview or meeting?

When you meet with anyone for an informational meeting or a job interview, you must bring a pad and pen to take notes. You demonstrate that you are interested in what the person has to say by taking notes of his/her important points. Before a meeting prepare a pad and pen along with clean copies of your current resume.

Strive to have a reputation as a dependable person.

If you are expected for an interview or meeting and suddenly can't make it due to a very good reason (and not that your friend asked you to go to a movie), CALL THE APPROPRIATE PERSON AND SAY YOU WILL NOT BE THERE. At the same time ask about rescheduling, so the person knows you are still interested in meeting. And this requires planning ahead by getting the phone number of the person with whom you are meeting "just in case."

Always be on time. Err on the early side.

Be on time for an informational meeting or interview. Get there early for coffee or tea around the corner or sit in the outer office before your appointment - you'd be amazed what you can learn just by listening to the receptionist.

If you are absolutely detained (Martians have landed on the highway on which you're driving), call ahead and say you will be late. People do not recommend or hire anyone who is not dependable.

DURING A MEETING/INTERVIEW

Now let's look at what happens during a meeting or interview.

When does the meeting or interview actually begin?

Everything you do from the moment you arrive at a meeting/interview location may be observed and noted. This could be something as unexpected as the parking attendant noticing how dirty your car is to the receptionist noticing you read The Wall Street Journal or Popular Mechanic while in the waiting room.

Discard your chewing gum before you arrive at an interview, pop a breath freshner into your mouth, and turn off your cell.

Treat everyone from receptionist to CEO with the same courtesy and respect. (Please and thank you go a long way.) This is both the correct way to act towards others and you may be saving yourself. Who knows if the temporary receptionist is actually the daughter of the CEO? And guess into whose ear she pours the information on how rudely you acted?

How should you talk during a meeting or interview?

Like, you know, lose these excess words.

The three words "like" and "you know" (along with the annoying "um" and "well") used liberally throughout your conversations may not bother your friends. Yet be assured that a person interviewing you will note the immature and/or annoying language. Other words that bother interviewers include dude, hey, stuff, whatever.

And, of course, you should use proper English and not street or slang or colloquial English. If you're not used to answering questions and asking them in proper English - practice, practice, practice with someone who can help you.

Pause before speaking without saying "um" or "well."

If necessary, press your lips firmly together each time to remind yourself not to say "um" or "well." It is certainly appropriate to take a couple of nanoseconds to think before answering a question.

Speak neither too fast nor too slow.

And consider your volume - how soft or loud - compared to the volume of the person to whom you're talking. If that person speaks in a loud voice, then a soft voice on your part may not be the best strategy. On the other hand, a person who speaks softly (yet clear enough to be heard) may not appreciate your roaring in his/her ear.

Some people make the mistake of lifting their voice at the end of sentences so they sound as if they're asking a question when in fact they're making a statement. That's confusing for the listener. Others drop their voice so softly at the end of sentences that the final words are difficult to hear. And here's the biggest problem with this particular habit - in effective oral and written communication, the most important words are often and usually should be at the end of the sentence. .

Your facial expression should match your voice tone. If you're saying something pleasant your expression should match. If you're expressing your anger, you shouldn't confuse signals by smiling. Of course in an interview you're going to control your anger, which is why it's important to practice beforehand fielding fast balls from a hostile interviewer.

What about body language during a meeting or interview?

Good posture, direct eye contact, firm handshakes.

As you walk into a room to be interviewed, your posture can make or break you along with a weak or wet handshake, no eye contact, and all the other things your parents have corrected you about for years. (This includes bad table manners - especially negative when being interviewed at a lunch or dinner.)

Pothole alert: If there are two or more people meeting with you, even if only one person does the talking, you must make and retain your eye contact with all the people present.

Walk into a room with confidence and maintain eye contact throughout the conversation. If you let your eyes roam around the person's office while he/she talks to you, you've probably blown your chances for having made a positive impression.

Keep your body still while focusing on the interviewer(s).

During an interview, keep your hands from playing with your hair, your moustache, your pen, the lint on your clothes or rubbing a hangnail. On the other hand, you can lean slightly forward towards the person interviewing you. This subtly conveys that you are truly interested in what the interviewer is saying.

Be careful what your body language signals.

Slumping in a chair can signal you're not serious about the interview. Crossed arms can be perceived as threatening. Fidgeting with your hands conveys nervousness. One leg over the other at the knee appears awkward. If you're male, keep both feet on the floor. If female, you can cross your legs AT THE ANKLE. Both males and females should strive for body language that shows you're at ease AND giving the interviewer your complete attention.

Of course there will be times when the person with whom you're meeting makes you so uncomfortable that you can't wait to get out of the room. You'll still strive not to show your irritation. Then once you're safely away from the interview, you can treat yourself to a Starbucks latte or take deep yoga breaths or go for a run or whatever you do to banish such unpleasant experiences.

AFTER A MEETING/INTERVIEW

Follow-up in a timely fashion is very important.

How important is saying thank you for the meeting or interview?

You must immediately email or write a thank-you note to anyone with whom you have just had a meeting or who talks with you on the phone to give you advice. The person who met with you or spoke to you deserves an immediate email thank-you or handwritten thank-you note even though you have presumably thanked the person for his/her time at the end of the meeting or the phone conversation.

Yes, a thank-you email is probably okay. Yet if you want to stand out, and that's what this book is about, why not write a handwritten note on good stationery or on an appropriate card. That you took the time to do this will impress most interviewers.

Remember, whether you write an email, a letter, or a thank-you note, use proper spelling, grammar and punctuation. And forget about using numerous exclamation points, email symbols, uncapitalized Is, cute spellings (such as u for you).