Ok, I'm Pulling Out My Last Three Hairs!

Go to your happy place! Go to your happy place! Yeah, that's it-the half frozen brook at the old grist mill that's just a tourist attraction now that no one eats hand made food anymore. Everything is fast, faster, and fastest. Ok, now I'm there. It's a little cold but quiet. Peaceful! That's what I've been needing. Now I just get my laptop and start to connect to the Wi-Fi at the grist mill tourist office and work on my Squidoo lenses. I log on to my email and see a few more people are following me on Twitter. That's good! More traffic means more exposure, right? And not the kind you get when your youngest son runs through the house with his dirty diaper in hand just 5 minutes after you changed him. Uh-oh. That actually just happened! Oh well, so much for the grist mill fantasy.

BACK TO THE REAL WORLD

The idea of the Triathletic Parenting Association became reality, I think it's real anyway, just this evening while out at dinner with my lovely but tired wife and our 3 but soon to be 4 kids. (I am withholding their names to protect ours in the future). My oldest had just managed to fumble his plate of spaghetti all over my leg after being told to hold it with both hands no less than three times! The youngest was enamored with a girl way too young for him at the table next to us. She couldn't have been any older than 18 months and he is a very ripe two years old. And I do mean very ripe especially after a good plate of food! Anyway, the middle son (The Revenger) was agitating the baby (The Retaliator) in return for being agitated all his life by his older brother (The Instigator). The Retaliator got tired of The Revenger's antics and decided to shot-put his corn on the cob at The Revenger. Just as it was about to smash into The Revenger's head..........I snatched it out of the air! Another innocent child saved! Ok, drop the innocent part. In all truthfulness, I should have let The Revenger take it upside the head but I still have a little compassion and protection left in me. So, I thought, I should start the TPA! The Triathletic Parenting Association. If you need any further explanation as to what the Triathlete reference is to then you obviously don't have enough kids and therefore have no business attempting to enroll in the club. You don't belong. Sorry.

PARANORMAL PARENTING

Some people find it easier to just disappear while watching their children or to make their kids disappear. Neighbors are a tremendous source of free babysitting I have noticed. When the parents grow weary of the normal day-to-day routine of cooking, cleaning, and then cleaning most everything you just cooked up off of the floor, they say "Hey kids, why don't you go see what the neighbors are doing?". To this comes the reply, "But they aren't home!" Then with enthusiasm the parent exclaims, "Oh little children, where is your sense of adventure? Go! Run! Play! Just not anywhere near me!"

Oh, there may be the occassional glance out the window just to make sure the neighbors aren't calling the cops or chasing the little ones with a broom. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is what I call Paranormal Parenting. For those of you who have never seen Ghost Hunters on SciFi, the paranormal basically has to do with just what the title says. Ghosts! Which is what many parents become when it is time to do the dirty work of actual parenting. You know, homework time, creative time, outside playing time-does anyone besides me still place an emphasis on going outside?

MY WORK IS MY PEACE!

Be honest now, did you ever think when you first started working that you would think of it as a source of relaxation? Well, those of you that have children and/or a spouse know what I mean. Just the time away, around adults that you can carry on a conversation with instead of the usual "Daddy, Mommy where is that juice I asked for three times in the last two seconds?" or the always entertaining "I don't know why my little brother's crying, I didn't even hit him with the ball bat that hard!"

AND NOW DUE TO POPULAR REQUEST...

I received a comment from Merilyn today that got me thinking, especially with today's two income families and three job single parents. She suggested we start the grandparents chapter of the Triathletic Parenting Association. What a brilliant idea! I know our parents have done just as much if not more for our boys as we have. From watching them while we are at work, to taking them to and from elementary school. Oh, and getting snickered into stopping by the convenience store to get a Bug Juice and a Honey Bun. Thanks, mom and dad,load 'em up with sugar then leave 'em with us! I'm not bitter I promise. (I'll get you both back...or maybe you're getting me back...hmmm.)

Anyway, check into joining the TPA

FARM TRACTORS AND PHOBIAS

Wow! I remember when the mere sight of me used to make my wife say just that. Wow! She used to say I reminded her of that Kenny Chesney song "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" Now I feel like an old Massey Ferguson all grown up by weeds. The thing is, see, that I don't think I'm actually old but I feel that way sometimes. Like when I first wake up. And when I get ready for bed. And when I'm working. And when I'm resting. Or playing with our kids. And sometimes when I sneeze and every muscle in by body hurts like I just climbed out of a semi truck that ran over a cliff. But other than that, I feel pretty good most of the time!

My kids have developed several phobias and fears in the last few years. First, my oldest (The Instigator) developed the typical fear of the dark. Then our middle child (The Revenger) who is 6 now, decided based on a commercial that he was deathly terrified of germs. Not just cold germs or flu bugs. He was afraid of his fork touching someone else's plate, not their food, just the plate. Well, we got him over that and he was normal for a while...until...

Stop Holding your Spit!

That's right, he's afraid to swallow his own saliva. The logic behind this one I don't even want to know. We don't ask anymore. We tried with all our might to explain to him that he swallows it whenever he eats or drinks or sleeps. Then I suddenly thought "Oh no, what if he decides it's not worth the risk to eat, drink or sleep?" Actually that last one wouldn't be too big a surprise since he is a consumate night owl anyway. Maybe someone needs to start a nightshift school for K-12 kids! Does anybody else have these problems?

What Is A Goosebump?

The Retaliator asked me last night in a groggy haze of half-sleep if Goosebumps are real. "What pray tell, are Goosebumps?" asked the father. "Monsters and goblins, daddy!" was the reply. "No son, they aren't real, but you and your brothers are causing me to wonder otherwise."

So anyway, I have decided to try to turn this lense into a sort of mini-blog of our lives with business and kids. I'm curious as to which will prevail in controlling my life. Hopefully both, or actually me. Okay, forget it my wife will be The Dominator as always and whatever she says will go. That is until she isn't looking. Don't you dare tell her I said that WOMEN! I know my male buddies out there will keep quiet.

Well I see my latest Kitchen Creation is done and we are going to start tearing into some chicken teriyaki stir fry. Don't even doubt that spelling, I looked on the package...twice.

Sunday, November 2, 2008
Found a couple of interesting articles:

#1 10 Ways to Be Nice to Your Friends and Family by Real Simple, on Fri Oct 31, 2008 8:12am PDT Read More from This Author » 1 Comment Post a Comment Report Abuse

Robyn Lehr
Almost effortless ways you can do a little good in the world
Channel your second-grade teacher and playfully give out gold-star stickers to all the people in your life -- young and old -- who somehow make your day a little easier.
If you know someone is going out to dinner to celebrate a special occasion, call the restaurant in advance and say you'll pick up the cost of her wine or dessert.
When someone is moving to a new city, supply friends and family members with stamped, preaddressed postcards. (Hand them out at the going-away party.) By the time the family pulls into the new driveway, there will be warm wishes awaiting them.
When you run across a newspaper or magazine article you think someone you know would find interesting, take a moment to clip it out. Attach a Post-it note that reads "Thought you'd enjoy" and drop it in the mail. This takes less time than writing a letter, but the gesture still shows the other person you're thinking about her. Laura Noss, who owns a public-relations firm for nonprofits in San Francisco, says her father, who lives in Cleveland, does just that. "It means so much that when he's reading something, he'll rip it out, fold it, attach a message, put the postage on it, and send it to me,"" she says. "I save almost all of them."
Similarly, when a young person in your hometown does something to merit a mention in the newspaper (the high school quarterback saves the big game in overtime or your neighbor gets elected student-body president), clip out the photo and article and send it to the person's family. Chances are, they'll want to collect every copy they can. (One notable exception: the police blotter.) Here are some tips on Filing Newspaper Articles.
If you travel a lot on business, record yourself reading your children's favorite bedtime stories; they can listen to your voice as they flip through the book. Finish each night's reading with a countdown of the days until you're back home with them.
Every day for a year, jot down one thing you love about your child/husband/friend (he has a crooked smile; she snorts when she laughs). At the end of the year, give the person your one-of-a-kind, 365-item list.
When you develop photos from a vacation or a major life event that an elderly relative missed, get an extra set of prints and send them to her.
When guests are leaving, escort them to their car, not just to the front door. If you're driving someone home, wait until she's inside the house before you pull away.
Hide messages for your family to find throughout the day, like "Thanks for doing a load!" in the dryer, or a silly joke in your child's lunch box.

And #2 Healthy LivingSunday, November 2, 2008
Subscribe to This BlogAdd to My Yahoo!RSS 12 simple ways to supercharge your brain by Jay @ Dumb Little Man, on Wed Oct 22, 2008 6:00am PDT Read More from This Author » 117 Comments Post a Comment Report Abuse

Have you ever felt exasperated when you bumped into someone at the store but absolutely couldn't remember their name? Sure, it happens to all of us.
Despite being the strongest computer on the planet, our brains do lapse. It's hard to blame them really. As humans, we spend much of or existence stuffing our brains with stuff.

No matter how powerful our brains are, they need recuperation time to be kept in shape. Think of it as a tune up for your brain. Skipping brain maintenance is as silly as the person wandering the parking garage because they forgot where they parked. Is that you? Are you that person? If so, fear not; we are all that person at some point.

Now I am not a brain surgeon and I am not going to suggest you do anything surgical or dangerous. I am however an astute student of human behavior so I always look for simple ways to super charge my brain.

Here are some things you can begin doing as soon as today to begin the great brain tune up:

Eat Almonds
Almond is believed to improve memory. If a combination of almond oil and milk is taken together before going to bed or after getting up at morning, it strengthens our memory power. Almond milk is prepared by crushing the almonds without the outer cover and adding water and sugar to it.

Drink Apple Juice
Research from the University of Massachusetts Lowell (UML) indicates that apple juice increases the production of the essential neurotransmitter acetylcholine in the brain, resulting in an increased memory power.

Sleep well
Research indicates that the long-term memory is consolidated during sleep by replaying the images of the experiences of the day. These repeated playbacks program the subconscious mind to store these images and other related information.

Enjoy simple Pleasures
Stress drains our brainpower. A stress-ridden mind consumes much of our memory resources to leave us with a feeble mind. Make a habit to engage yourself in few simple pleasures everyday to dissolve stress from your mind. Some of these simple pleasures are good for your mind, body and soul.

Enjoy music you love
Play with your children
Appreciate others
Run few miles a day, bike or swim
Start a blog
Take a yoga class or Total Wellness routine
Exercise your mind
Just as physical exercise is essential for a strong body, mental exercise is equally essential for a sharp and agile mind. Have you noticed that children have far superior brainpower than an adult does? Children have playful minds. A playful mind exhibits superior memory power. Engage in some of the activities that require your mind to remain active and playful.

Play scrabble or crossword puzzle
Volunteer
Interact with others
Start a new hobby such as blogging, reading, painting, bird watching
Learn new skill or a foreign language
Practice Yoga or Meditation
Yoga or Meditation relives stress. Stress is a known memory buster. With less stress, lower blood pressure, slower respiration, slower metabolism, and released muscle tension follows. All of these factors contribute significantly towards increases in our brainpower.

Reduce Sugar intake
Sugar is a non-food. It's a form of carbohydrate that offers illusionary energy, only to cause a downhill slump once the initial burst has been worn off. Excess intake of sugar results in neurotic symptoms. Excess sugar is known to cause claustrophobia, memory loss and other neurotic disorders. Eat food without adding sugar. Stay away from sweet drinks or excess consumption of caffeine with sugar.

Eat whole wheat
The whole wheat germs contain lecithin. Lecithin helps ease the problem of the hardening of the arteries, which often impairs brain functioning.

Eat a light meal at night
A heavy meal at night causes tossing and turning and a prolonged emotional stress while at sleep. It's wise to eat heavy meal during the day when our body is in motion to consume the heavy in-take. Eating a light meal with some fruits allows us to sleep well. A good night sleep strengthens our brainpower.

Develop imagination
Greeks mastered the principle of imagination and association to memorize everything. This technique requires one to develop a vivid and colorful imagination that can be linked to a known object. If you involve all your senses - touching, feeling, smelling, hearing and seeing in the imagination process, you can remember greater details of the event.

Control your temper
Bleached food, excess of starch or excess of white bread can lead to nerve grating effect. This results in a violent and some time depressive behavior. Eat fresh vegetables. Drink lots of water and meditate or practice yoga to relieve these toxic emotions of temper and stressful mood swings.

Take Vitamin B-complex
Vitamin B-complex strengthens memory power. Eat food and vegetables high in Vitamin B-complex. Stay away from the starch food or white bread, which depletes the Vitamin B-complex necessary for a healthy mind.

I don't believe these are that tough. If you find yourself increasing stumped, give a couple of these a try.

Written by Shilpan Patel of Success Soul and cross-posted from Dumb Little Man, a web site that provides tips for life that will save you money, increase your productivity, or simply keep you sane.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

I Live For The Kids
Current mood: strong
Category: Life

My new page is all about the kids. The only people who have no chance in this world without someone fighting for them. Young adults can get educated and work. Older people can use their education and work experience. The elderly, as much help as they need, can use their abundant life experience and lessons learned to fight off anyone trying to take advantage of them. But the kids, God Bless the little children. Some don't have parents, some have parents that let them run around the streets at 3 years old. Some use them for tax credits or more welfare income.

We cannot say we have a conscience as a world and just forsake the kids. They may not act like our parents did when they were kids but we didn't either. It's not their fault. It's possibly not even our fault. It is, however, our fault if they grow up not knowing they are loved.

If your teenage daughter looks for love so desperately in boys that she gets in trouble, you have to ask yourself if she knows the love of a father the way she should. Does he instill confidence and independence in her that leads to self-sufficiency? Does she know her love doesn't have to given away for some fake feeling of emotion? Does she know that she is valuable to the world by herself and not only with a boyfriend? In reality, we are more valuable on our own because it lends more time to fight our cause. That's why the apostle Paul said h

Do you ever get the feeling kids are trying to push you into an everlasting coma of indifference and hopeless haplessness? No? Well, I'm convinced after seeing them laugh harder at making a trip to the store a miserable experience than they do at one of my jokes. See, they didn't want to go but I had to take them. Their thinking was we'll just make him pay now instead of later. I know they planned this out before we got there. I saw the invisible writing on the wall when they stopped complaining and started to smile at me as we left the house. They had it in for me.

THEY DO IT ON PURPOSE, HERE'S PROOF!