Punch and Judy

"The scene which we are about to have the honour to put before you requires a tolerably large number of characters. It is, indeed, impossible to suppose that so important a prisoner as Guignol should be tried without due ceremony and by a single judge, but as the director of this theatre, like the generality of mankind, has but two hands, the actors in this scene will most of them remain quite still.

"This need not in the least interfere with the truth of the representation, for this stillness gives the administration of justice an additional solemnity.

"We may suppose that the judges are asleep, which will enable them to decide free from passion, and that the officials of the court are paralysed by the majesty of the court and the magnitude of the issues to be determined."

PUNCH AND JUDY

I am the showman and on me back
I carry me actors in me pack.
A puppet showman, that's me, yours truly,
And the stars of my show are - Punch and Judy!.
"That's the way to do it", says Punchinella -
Hump-back and hook-nose, he's a comical fella.

And the first comes up is old Punch his-self.
"Ladies and Gents," he says, "here's your good health."
He carries his big stick wherever he goes,
It's thick and strong and as long as his nose.
"That's the way to do it", says Punchinella -
Big stick and long nose, symbolic old fella!

Next up comes Judy, Punch's old lady,
Sayin' "I'm off out now, Punch, so mind the baby."
"Oh no I won't!" says Punch, "Yes, you will!" says Judy
"Cop hold o'your kid, my lad, none o' your old moody."
"That's the way to do it", says Punchinella -
Cocksure but henpecked, pathetic old fella!

The kid keeps howlin', old Punchy thumps it,
It bawls, he belts it, into bed he dumps it.
It cries, he calms it down, it bites his finger,
Punch ups and bungs it through the bloomin' winder.
"That's the way to do it", says Punchinella -
"That'll learn the bleedin' brat to yell and beller!"

Here's Mrs Judy now, come back again,
Not knowin' Punch has done the nipper in.
"Where's Baby, Punch?"she says - "Gone... gone to sleep," says.he:
"Don't you know where your own son is? You make me weep!" says she.
"That's the way to do it", says Punchinella -
"I threw it out the winder," he has to tell her.

Up jumps a copper, all dressed in blue,
Sayin', "Mr. Punch, I am arrestin' you,
I've got a warrant to take you up you for what you done."
"And I've got a warrant," says Punch, "to knock you down!"
"That's the way to do it", says Punchinella -
Kickin' him arse over head straight down the cellar.

She cries her heart out: "Where's my lil son gone?"
Says Punch, "There's plenty more where that one come from!"
With a stick she bangs and beats him something lovely -
He gets it, clubs her, kills her, kicks her ugly...
"That's the way to do it", says Punchinella -
"Why keep a wife you hate if you can kill her?"

Well, the law soon catches him and in a while
Before Judge Black Cap he's standin' trial.
"Killed wife and child?" he says, "You guilty wretch!
Take Punch away and hang him, Mr. Ketch!"
"That's the way to do it", says Punchinella -
"Hang 'em all, but don't hang me!" he cries in terror.

"See this-here noose?" says Jack, "Poke your head through."
Old Punch lets on he don't know what to do.
"In here, Mr. Ketch,? Or p'r'aps in here?"
"Hang about," the hangman says, "I'll show you where."
"That's the way to do it", says Punchinella -
Stringin' up the hangman, he's a swingin' old fella!

"Jack Ketch is dead," he cries , "Hoorah, hooray, I'm free!
Don't care if the Devil his-self should come and call on me."
"Jack Ketch is dead," he says, "Old Punch'll do them all!"
Up pops Old Nick his-self - tail, horns, hooves and all.
"That's the way to do it", says Punchinella -
"Leave it out, I'm your best friend, we're birds of a feather!"

The Devil darts at Punch but he ain't havin' it,
Nick gets his-self a stick but Punch keeps grabbin' it.
He aims a mighty swipe at Satan's nut an' -
The Devil's out for the count, as dead as mutton!.
"That's the way to do it", says Punchinella -
He's beat the Devil his-self, heroic old fella!

The show is over now, me dolls need mendin'.
But Punch and Punch's play is never-endin'
In ev'ry soul alive there's a Punch and a Judy -
In you, sir, you, ma'am, too, and me, yours truly.
"That's the way to do it", says Punchinella -
The Punch and Judy game goes on forever!

This lens is part of Chapel Hill Fiddler's Puppets & Masks CollectionPunch and Judy • How to Make your Own Punch & Judy Dolls • Casting a plaster mold to make a paper mache head • Punch & Judy show: the other characters • Bread and Puppet Circus • How to Make a Handmade Parade • Adult Puppet Theater • Make a La Llorona paper mache mask • Scary Masks from Afar • How to make a giant puppet and an El Tigre head • The giant head masks of Jane Filer • Make a space alien head from papier mache • Creep masks for Halloween inspiration • See all the puppet lenses at once • The scary recycled puppets of artist Michel Nedjar