The Purple Bench

I've often wondered if the Royal Family of England has a Purple Bench. In their modest home does British Royalty have a special room where they can go to relax with the simplicities of life? Surely, even the Royal Family knows the value of owning a Purple Bench.

When I was young I learned the importance of appearances. As a world traveler of sorts, I figured out that the clothes I wore made a difference in how others saw me. In my youth I attended many schools and the first day was always very important. You see, the first day of school meant I would be meeting people for the very first time. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.

So it is with your home. You can also make a good first impression by showing off your lovely purple bench, prominently displayed where your guests will see it, first.

Image: Tom Curtis / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

If you want a purple garden bench, you're going to have to DIY. No one sells purple garden benches. Perhaps it is too dangerous to work with so much power and mystery or perhaps you are unique in your desire to acquire one. One great thing about doing it yourself is that you get to choose the shade of purple. Lilac? Grape? Magenta? Heliotrope?

1. Find a shade of purple you like and buy it in spray paint form. While you are there buy some spray paint primer as well. Make sure they work on metal. Ask your friendly helpful hardware man or woman.


2. Acquire a nice metal garden bench. One that fulfills your hearts desire and doesn't empty the piggy bank.


3. Clean said garden bench with detergent and water. If it is an old one and has some rust, work on that rust. Remove it with steel wool and brushes and if you like caustic substances use some naval jelly. Be careful with that stuff, it's very acidic.


4. Once it is clean and dry. Prime the metal with your spray paint primer. Make sure you do it in a place with good ventilation.


5. Let it dry once again and then pull out the pièce de résistance, your purple paint. Now carefully paint your bench. Once again, make sure you paint in a place with good ventilation and paint it outside direct sunlight. Let it dry. Note: make sure you follow the directions on the spray paint can.