Quiz: Just how shy ARE you?

The issues we have covered here are anxiety, making conversation, going to parties, remembering names, smiling and body language, making eye contact, making friends, talking to the opposite sex, going out on dates and assertiveness.

Whew! That covers a lot!

Unfortunately, there are a lot of issues associated with shyness. That's what makes it challenging to overcome. Of course, you will probably not have a problem with all of the issues associated with shyness unless you are severely shy.

After you take the quiz, read the rest of the page to find helpful advice on solving the problems the quiz covers, as well as useful online resources.

And be sure to check back on this lens regularly, as it will be updated from time to time with new articles, information and resources.

Want some superbly potent steps for overcoming shyness and building self-confidence? Take to heart the following:

1. Strike up a conversation with someone every chance you get. This does not have to be a big, long winded conversation. It can be a conversation with anyone you come into contact with: while waiting in line, while buying groceries, etc.

Making a friendly, brief conversation with a store cashier as you are being rung up is great for starters. This is a brief, nonthreatening situation, and you will know that you do not have to sustain the conversation for very long, making it a very low pressure situation as well. Just make it short if there are other people waiting behind you.

2. Work on your eye contact. This is important for overcoming shyness and building self-confidence. Eye contact is extremely important in making a good impression. It displays self-confidence and friendliness.

How much eye contact should you make? It depends on the situation. If the person you're talking to is behind the wheel of a car or otherwise occupied, the situation will obviously be quite different then if you and your conversational partner are face to face. A general rule of thumb is 80% to 90% eye contact. This is one of the most important rules for overcoming shyness and building self-confidence.

3. Develop the skill of remembering people's names quickly and easily. Many people have trouble with this, but not only does cultivating this skill build up your self-confidence, but it is one of the most important keys to making people like you.

4. Remember that overcoming shyness and building self-confidence will take time. It is called "building" for a reason. It has to be done step-by-step. There are various mental tricks for building your self-confidence, such as picturing the person you're talking to in his underwear, but in the long run, self confidence has to be built up like a house: brick by brick, step-by-step, one successful experience after another.

About the Author:
Visit the Internet Shyness FAQ at Shy FAQ for more answers about shyness and building self-confidence, and also obtain a FREE ebook, How to Remember People's Names; the Master Key to Success and Popularity. Tim Arends also offers his complete overcoming shyness system at Shy Facts

Let's say you're dating an attractive girl or a good looking guy. He or she is not a big talker. Maybe you aren't either. Maybe you've already talked about your hobbies, your family and your jobs. Nothing else seems to come to mind, and you think he or she is not helping much! What to do?

What you have already been doing is engaging in small talk, which is good. This is wholesome and satisfying conversation, light, not too filling, and certainly overly "heavy!"

But small talk does give you an idea of her likes and dislikes. You know what she can select discuss and you even have a general idea of what topics she might like to leave alone. So, since you have already been engaging in small talk, you already have a considerable foundation built up to your conversational efforts.

But now are you getting "all talked out?" Perhaps you're experiencing those painful silences. Is the conversation dying? At least you feel like that's what your date might be thinking. How do you get over these bumps in the road?

1. Ask open questions

Understand the difference between open and closed questions.

A closed question is "did you have a good day today?" That is a question that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no."

An open question is one that cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no." Such as "what did you do today?"

Two good examples of wprds that start open questions are "why" and "how." You can use these frequently during the conversation without being redundant or repetitive or annoying. Just ask about different things in vary your questions.

2. Go back to something that has already been brought up in the conversation but not fully developed.

A conversation is like the branches of a tree. Each topic can lead to more topics, which lead to still more topics. But no topic is ever really completely exhausted.

It is impossible to completely exhaust all that there is to say on any subject on earth. When we converse, we are really like the squirrel who is jumping from branch to branch, from one to the other. The squirrel never goes to the end of every single branch to chew on every single leaf!

Conversation is much the same way. All the possible subtopics (leaves) of a conversation are never fully explored. Something causes us to jump to a different topic (usually it is something in the current conversation that reminds us of something else).

So the solution is, when you run out of something to say in the current topic, you go back to explore something that was brought up earlier but not fully developed. You do this by saying things like: "Earlier you are saying... how do you feel about that? "Or, "earlier you were talking about... I had a similar thing happened to me when..."

3. Listen, listen, listen.

Needless to say, in order to go back to explore a topic that was brought up earlier in the conversation, you must listen very carefully to what has been said. If you allow your mind to wander, you will be afraid to ask about something for fear it was already explained and you simply weren't paying attention. Also, listening will help you to absorb what was said and to understand the many potential avenues in which a conversation could still flow.

Follow these tips and you will greatly increase your chances of always being able to keep the conversation going, no matter what!

When you program a computer, you start with a flowchart. Why not use the same technique for programming the most powerful computer there is -- your own mind?

Did you know that all conversations follow virtually the same step-by-step process? Making conversation with anyone is a simple "paint by numbers" procedure once you know the technique!

That's what my new "conversation mind map" is all about! It will show you how to start a conversation, how to keep one going, how to deepen it and take it to the next level, and even how to get the other person's contact information so you can meet him or her again! You can either study it on screen or print it out and hang it on your wall as a handy study guide for this crucial skill.

Yes, it's free! Click the image.

There are always parties. There's Christmas, corporate events, birthdays, frat-the list goes on and on. These can be particularly difficult for shy people. Here are some tips to help you survive-and maybe even thrive-at your next event.

1. Do your homework. Think of some topics that might be discussed at the party and what you might say. Visualize yourself being outgoing. The day of the party and the day before, read up on local, world and celebrity news so that you will be well informed and have something to talk about.

2. Keep your expectations low. This may sound like odd advice. You may be dreading this function. You may not know anybody in there, you won't fit in, etc. This is actually good news! If your expectations are low, that means you won't be disappointed. On the other hand, it brings the first law of polar dynamics into play - that is, what you think will be lousy might actually be fun, and vice versa.

3. Time your entrance. If you arrive too early, you may be there before anyone else arrives. That will make the party seem even longer.

When you arrive depends on the party. If it's a sitdown dinner, the schedule will be tighter than if it's a cocktails and hors d'oeuvres mingling-type party. Most at-home parties have no fixed ending time, but you do want to be there before all the food runs out!

4. Force yourself to mingle. You want to keep yourself from rotting in the corner or looking like a potted plant. Make a deal with yourself To meet at least four people while you're at the party (if you're really ambitious, you can make it six). By meeting I mean getting the person's name and having at least a short chat. If you're sitting with people around a banquet table, you must try to talk to the people around you.

5. Look for people who are by themselves and strike up a conversation with them. Who knows? They may be shy too, and this may be a great opportunity to break the ice with someone.

6. When you strike up a conversation get the person's name. You can even tell them you made a challenge to yourself to try to remember the first name of everyone you meet. That in itself could be a topic of conversation.

To keep the conversation going, you can bring up a subject like the news or tabloid scandals - almost everybody has an opinion on those subjects. Be careful with politics, however. It is so easy to either offend somebody with your views when talking about the subject, or to get somebody going off on a rant, making you want to slip away, unnoticed, as if you had nothing to do with this person.

7. Accept rejection as a fact of life. Some people claim that you will never be snubbed. I think that's bad advice! If you think you won't be snubbed, when you actually are snubbed, it will make it that much harder to take. It will be a terrible blow if you work up the nerve to strike up a conversation with somebody only to have him look at you like you're pond scum and walk away.

The trick is not to take rejections too seriously. Just think of the guy as somebody with personal problems (which is probably true) and move on to the next person.

8. Finally, thank the host or hostess before you leave. That's just good manners.

Follow these tips and you'll go a long way towards mastering those Christmas holiday jitters.

How many times have you had the embarrassment of seeing someone on the street, in the cafeteria, in class, or elsewhere and been addressed by name--but, for the life of you, you couldn't remember the other person's name?

But what's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. That may be true of some things, but not of people's names. A person's name, as Dale Carnegie wrote, is to them the most important sound in any language. It is their unique identifier. It is a part of them.

In the Bible, when Adam was given dominion over all of the animals, he named them all as a way of showing dominance over them.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie has been named in one survey as one of the ten most influential books of all time. The book is divided into various sections. The third section of part two is titled "If you don't do this, you are headed for trouble." What is it that you must do? Remember the other person's name, and facts about him or her. Yes, in one of the most highly regarded books of all time, remembering names was listed very near the top in importance.

Dale Carnegie cited several instances throughout history in which the ability to remember people's names was one of the defining hallmarks of success.

Andrew Carnegie (no relation to Dale Carnegie) was one of the richest men in history and he was known for his ability to remember names. Dale Carnegie related how Andrew Carnegie was battling with his competitor over the railroad sleeping car business and both competitors were in danger of price slashing each other out of business. Finally, Andrew Carnegie sat down with his competitor and clinched the deal. How? Partly by promising to name the manufacturing business and product after his competitor, and thus the famous Pullman Sleeping Car Company came into being.

Dale Carnegie pointed out how libraries and museums owe their richest collections to men and women who could not bear to think that their names might vanish from history. Every college and university has buildings named after their foremost contributors.

Today, many a sales deal is clinched because a salesperson made himself well liked by remembering his or her prospects' names. Indeed, a salesperson must sell himself as well as his product to others, and there is perhaps no better first step towards selling oneself to people than remembering their names.

A waiter or waitress in a restaurant must surely pull in better tips when she can remember the names of the regular patrons. In almost any occupation, the ability to remember names is a decided asset.

In social life, the ability to remember names is just as important. Imagine meeting someone at a party, seeing her later in a cafeteria, and not only remembering her name but being able to bring up what was discussed earlier and use it as a basis for new conversation. This surely would leave a very favorable impression upon the other person.

Imagine meeting an attractive woman for the first time, seeing her at the park later and remembering her name--then resuming an earlier conversation!

Or imagine being introduced casually and quickly to a group of women and remembering each one of their names--effortlessly and flawlessly--when you happen to see them again, days, even weeks, later! Imagine what a great impression you'd make...especially if they have forgotten YOUR name!

Get into the habit of making a real effort to remember the names of those you meet. It will open up to you new worlds of success and popularity.

C'mon, admit it...you have trouble remembering the names of people you meet sometimes (okay, often)!

This is a common problem for almost everyone, but especially for shy people. They are so distracted by their anxiety or their efforts to make conversation that they overlook this important step!

AND YET...remembering people's names is the most important rule to make a great impression on them! It shows you think they're important. It flatters them. And forgetting their names does exactly the opposite!

But did you know that there are powerful and even FUN strategies for remembering the names of everyone you meet?

The author of this site has written a fun-to-read ebook, How to Remember People's Names; The Master Key to Success and Popularity.

Best of all, this 96-page, illustrated ebook is totally FREE! Click on the book image.