Quiz: Napoleon Bonaparte, man and myth

Napoleon Bonaparte spoke Italian - it was the language of Corsica before its sovereignty was ceded to France (the day before he was born)!

Napoleon loved Italy. Being an Italian, he could see it in the round, rather than in cliche.

He rode into Italy 1796 to free it from Austrian oppression. For too long Austria had exploited the weaknesses of the Italian states to dominate the Peninsular. Napoleon I wanted to end that; he wanted to bring the Italian people the same freedoms the French now enjoyed.

Tragically, many Italian states preferred to listen to Austrian lies. Corrupt 'Italian' elites were sure they were 'better off with Austria, because Austria rules through the elites'. Call the elites Austrian quislings, for that was how they behaved.

Napoleon said (roughly) fig that. Italian for the Italians. Napoleon had a vision of Italian unity, long before Garibaldi was born.

The first thing to do was beat the elites in battle, as the first step to breaking their stranglehold over their people.

Hence Venice, always a 'key' to the Peninsular. Napoleon entered a city that was crumbling (both physically and socially) through decades(+) of neglect and misrule.

Far from trashing Venice, Napoleon understood its geographic/political importance. "The city is not our enemy," he told his soldiers, "Only the elites are our enemy, as they are the enemy of their own subjects and all free people." He insisted that the Venetians be treated with courtesy and respect; he punished war crimes severely. He pointed out that the wealth of the Venetian elites came from oppressing their own people with merciless taxes (and 'laws') - so it was arguable whether taking this wealth for better use was truly 'stealing'.

What did Napoleon do with what he requisitioned? He beautified Venice with its VERY FIRST PUBLIC PARK.

Napoleon Bonaparte I did not look in the mirror in the morning and say "# I'm fat."

Rather Napoleon I would look in the mirror and think I'm grateful I'm not vain because otherwise I'd spend all day gazing at myself in the mirror rather than running the empire. Even those who disliked Napoleon remarked on his perfect form, with its classic proportions and flawless complexion. Napoleon often had to fight off propositions (from both genders, especially nobles) who saw him as a 'work of art come to life'.

But what about him being fat? Napoleon did not have high blood pressure, high cholesterol or diabetes. Nor was his weight a hindrance otherwise.

In fact, he had begun his career (as a contemporary put it) "looking like 'Ghost of the Revolution' - all angular bones and long hair. He thought it looked 'revolutionary'. [In Egypt] I had to tell him the truth - he looked 'dangerous'... 'Beware yon Cassius with his mean and hungry looks'... Like he ought to have been haunting the pyramids in a shroud. 'If this is entirely about [your public image]..,' I said to him, 'You'll have to try something else. Because 'Ghost of the Revolution' looks precisely that; not the future, but the past. And you'll never convince people that the Revolution [liberty, equality and fraternity] is something to be celebrated when you [the poster-boy of the Revolution] look as though you ought to be in a coffin. Particularly with your large eyes. Bones and large eyes are not a good combination'. So he asked me [as his platonic girl-friend]... what I suggested. First I said 'Get a haircut', then I admitted 'Plump would set off your features better'. At that he buried his skull in his emaciated hands and if he could have seen a [picture]... of himself right then - as he looked at that moment - he would have seen precisely what I meant. If you already were his friend, you could 'see past it', but if you didn't [already have him as a friend]... this wouldn't encourage you to go up and [offer to share a coke-a-cola or a cupcake]... Then he said he could not live with himself if he turned into a 'fat lazy bourgeois' but I said 'Since when did fat and lazy go together?' And he couldn't use [the long deceased Louis XVI as an example because Louis had post-traumatic shock which was why he was (apparently) lazy; his size had nothing to do with it]... Then he [Napoleon] made some comment about whether 'Josephine would like it' to which he already knew the answer. Josephine wouldn't have cared less if he'd come home [with his hair in a pink Mohawk and a try-out for a sumo wrestling team]... Then Napoleon said it would be nice not to have to care about putting sugar in the coffee, which is how he preferred it served[, almost] Egyptian style...

"So he looked somewhat better after he got back [to Europe from Egypt].., but still tragic (I think is the word). At least not 'Ghost of the Revolution', sort-of swapped for a... 'tragic prince sitting on grave of his sweetheart in winter'... Didn't help that he wore a great deal of black at that time either. [Napoleon ensured I was promoted, which meant I did see him occasionally even though we were both fantastically busy]... He asked me - confidentially - what I thought of the 'New Bonaparte' ['new' in the wardrobe sense, he was still the same person as he always was]... I said (not wanting to hurt his feelings but knowing he needed to hear the truth] 'When [you're sure no one's watching you, you let down some emotional guard or other and you look as though you're on the verge of weeping]...' He said something about rulers having two parallel lives: One public and one private. It was the duty of a ruler to remain composed, just and upright in public regardless of what happened to him in his private life. We both knew what that meant - Josephine's unfaithfulness was tearing him to pieces... He loved Josephine, and he loved ruling - but so far only the ruling was returning any of his affection. I said [roughly] don't forget you have friends - we're here for you and if you need to talk don't hesitate to ask. Even if we all have to book [the get-together in our schedules first]...

"Then... I'm hesitating because I don't want this misunderstood. It was a very odd situation. But in 1803, Josephine talked Napoleon into having an affair. So he ended up with someone who (at least) thought he was a nice person; which he is. And the 'fling' didn't last but the next time I saw Napoleon he'd put on [about ten pounds]... and was smiling and said he was [changing his wardrobe again]... Into that [uniform he's most famous for today - cut-away jacket (with tails) over a short white waistcoat]... Rather than feeling like he was a [public persona and a private one].., he felt like he was one-and-the-same [ie unified] whether he was working or at leisure. Then he kissed me on both cheeks and said 'Thankyou' for my advice in Egypt and... had settled upon a 'public image' that wasn't a 'public [ie masquerade] image' so much as who he was and what he wanted. This was who he was. He'd come into himself, and who he was, there was nothing [created by the PR department]... about it.

"As to him being fat, he loved it. In Egypt he had been [mildly] insecure about his looks, now they didn't bother him at all. He had enough other things that did need worrying about [that is the empire, the army, the administration, the state of the world] without him being [dragged back by worrying about his appearance as well]... He had sugar in his coffee, sorbet [see below] for breakfast, chocolate as [a pick-me-up]... and he managed fifteen (or twenty) hour days for months on end without any difficulty..."

Napoleon's doctors considered him immensely sensible. Napoleon had survived TB during the Revolution; the disease scarred his lungs and left him with violent coughing fits in winter weather. He needed a high(er) BMI to protect against infection and regulate temperature. It also enabled him to 'bounce back' from illnesses and injuries generally; a must for a ruler who liked to work 20+ hour days and braved bullets in battle.

Napoleon's one concern was whether his new post-1803 beauty distracted others from his genius. After all "Helen (whose face launched a thousand ships) was probably never given the [opportunity]... to show if she had [something other than cotton wool between her ears]... because no one could 'see past' her [looks]... Beauty is a responsibility as well as a gift and I have sometimes found those with whom I am dealing have been so bedazzled by my appearance that they have entirely failed to ['take in']... anything I have said to them."

Pretender-later-dictator (Charles Louis) Napoleon III believed in fortune tellers (and the rest); he may have carried a fortune telling book.

Napoleon I did not.

Napoleon I did carry a carnelian throughout his life, but not because he believed it had 'mystical' properties. It was a souvenir from his visit to Nazareth (Holy Land/Israel). "The ancient Hebrews need no [physical] monuments," Napoleon used to say, "Because the Bible is their monument."

'All ambition, no heart' - that's too often what people say about Napoleon.

And it isn't true.

Napoleon frequently traveled through his empire in disguise, hearing people's complaints and concerns - and then doing something positive about them! He feared people would "only tell the Emperor the sunny side"; but he wanted to know who were the corrupt officials (so he could demote and punish them), what were the local repressive laws (so he could repeal them) and what things generally needed doing in the district (so he could have the roads fixed, the town square paved, new libraries opened...) Napoleon didn't care to be popular and he never punished people who said rude things about him. He wanted to be fair, just and accountable. His record speaks for itself.

Protection of children was one of Napoleon's particular concerns. His force of 007s was more often smashing child-prostitions-rings than it was 'doing general spy business'. He himself ordered his staff to ensure that "any child petitioners are brought immediately to the front of my receiving line - if a child comes to the Emperor it must be important indeed [the matter they have to petition]!" And Napoleon believed that charity very much began at home. When Napoleon's brother Louis was found to be abusing his (Louis') eldest son N.Charles, Napoleon immediately took Charles into his own household under his protection. (See picture). Napoleon thereafter raised Charles as his ward, formally (though privately) adopting him as his son in the last year of his (Napoleon's) life.