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Dwight Schrute Quotes - Quotes From The Office

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Memorable Quotes from NBC's "The Office"

The Office Quotes - Dwight Schrute Quotes, Jim Halpert Quotes, Michael Scott Quotes - The best Office quotes from Seasons One, Two, Three, Four, and Five. Powered by QuotesFromTheOffice.com.

Dwight Schrute Quotes

Read the best Dwight Schrute quotes from Season 1, Season 2, and Season 3.

"I have been Michael's number two guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We're like one of those classic famous teams. He's like Mozart and I'm like...Mozart's friend. No. I'm like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like...Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart? You're gonna get a bullet in your head courtesy of Butch Cassidy." Read More Quotes

Michael Scott Quotes

Read the best Michael Scott quotes from Season 1, Season 2, and Season 3.

"Todd Packer and I are total B.F.F.s, Best Friends Forever. We came up together in sales, one time we went to a bar and met these set of twins. And Packer said that we were brothers, one thing lead to another, and we took them to our hotel room...and Packer did BOTH of them!...It was awesome!" Read More Quotes

Jim Halpert Quotes

Read the best Jim Halpert quotes.

"So, yesterday Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot. Which is unfortunate, because it turns out that Dwight finding drugs is more dangerous than most people using drugs." Read More Quotes

The Office: Season 4 Episode Quotes

Episode 1 - Fun Run: A freak accident causes Michael to feel the office is cursed. He explores the religious beliefs of his employees before deciding to hold a charity 5K fun run. Meanwhile, further developments in the romances of Pam and Jim, and Dwight and Angela are explored.
Episode 2 - Dunder Mifflin Infinity: Much to the dismay of Michael and many of the employees, Ryan returns to the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin to bring the company into the digital age. Angela is still upset about her cat.
Episode 3 - Launch Party: The Dunder Mifflin Infinity website is launching and Michael is excited about going to the big launch party in New York while Angela plans a satellite party for the Scranton branch. Meanwhile, Dwight competes against the website to see who can sell the most paper in one day.
Episode 4 - Money: As Jan renovates the condo, Michael confronts his growing debt every way he can, which includes pressuring his employees for a loan. Pam and Jim spend a night out on Dwight's family farm, now a bed and breakfast.
Episode 5 - Local Ad: When the Scranton branch is asked to participate in a Dunder Mifflin ad, Michael seizes his chance to exhibit his creativity. Meanwhile, Dwight explores the online world of Second Life.
Episode 6 - Branch Wars: When Karen tries to woo Stanley away from Scranton, Michael fights back, dragging her ex, Jim, into his war. Meanwhile, the existence of a "Finer Things Club" further disturbs Dunder Mifflin's calm.
Episode 7 - Survivor Man: After Ryan excludes Michael from a corporate wilderness retreat, Michael heads into the woods for his own survival adventure with nothing but a suit on his back. Meanwhile, Jim tries to revolutionize the office birthday party.
Episode 8 - The Deposition: Jan sues Dunder-Mifflin, and Michael is deposed as a witness. Kelly talks smack to Pam after Darryl beats Jim at ping pong.

The Office: Season 3 Episode Quotes

Episode 1 - Gay Witch Hunt: When Michael unintentionally outs a gay employee, he stumbles through a sensitivity minefield.
Episode 2 - The Convention: Michael and Dwight attend an office-supply convention in Philadelphia and Ryan goes on a double date with Kelly.
Episode 3 - The Coup: After Jan busts Michael for showing a movie during office hours instead of working, Angela suggests to Dwight that he take Michael's job. Also, Pam has a lunchtime fashion show and Jim gets killed in virtual reality video games.
Episode 4 - Grief Counseling: After learning that his old boss, the former regional manager, has died, Michael attempts to guide the Dunder Mifflin staff through their grief as he searches for the right way to honor a company man.
Episode 5 - Initiation: Dwight takes Ryan out on his first sales call, but puts him through a series of tests and challenges, including an excursion to the Schrute's beet farm. In the office, corporate orders Michael to log his work activity (with Pam's help) and Jim tries to adapt to the Stamford branch.
Episode 6 - Diwali: Michael encourages the entire Scranton branch to support Kelly and attend a local celebration of Diwali, the Hindu Festival of Lights. Meanwhile, Andy convinces Jim to turn a late night of work into a drinking game.
Episode 7 - Branch Closing: When Jan tells Michael that the Scranton Branch will be shutting down, Michael strives to keep his staff's spirits up. Meanwhile, everyone privately begins to envision how their lives will change in the aftermath.
Episode 8 - The Merger: The Scranton branch and the Stamford branch of Dunder-Mifflin are merged, bringing old friends Jim and Pam back together after months apart. Michael and Dwight and the other employees deal with the changes.
Episode 9 - The Convict: Michael discovers that one of his new coworkers has a criminal past.
Episode 10 - A Benihana Christmas: Michael sends out an inappropriate photoshopped Christmas card and gets his heart broken for the holidays by girlfriend Carol. Andy takes Michael out drinking, with Dwight and Jim, while tensions on the party planning committee between Angela, Pam and Karen cause rival parties to form.
Episode 11 - Back from Vacation: Michael returns from his Jamaican vacation a relaxed and revitalized man, but that quickly changes when a spicy vacation photograph of Jan makes its way around the office. Meanwhile, Jim and Karen have an argument - with Pam caught in the middle of it all.
Episode 12 - Traveling Salesman: Michael pushes his desk jockeys to pair up and hit the road for sales-call duty. Meanwhile, Angela misses a crucial deadline, so her secret boyfriend, Dwight, tries to cover for her; and surprising news comes Karen's way.
Episode 13 - The Return: When Oscar returns from vacation pondering his future at the office, Michael orders the party-planning committee to organize a bash for him. Meanwhile, power-hungry Andy exploits recent events to inch closer to Michael; and Jim colludes with Pam and Karen to trick someone in the office-but the target's not Dwight.
Episode 14 - Ben Franklin: Acting on bad advice from his friend Todd Packer, Michael brings two "adult" performers into the office - a stripper and Ben Franklin - in honor of Phyllis's wedding shower. Meanwhile Karen confronts Pam about her past with Jim.
Episode 15 - Phyllis' Wedding: Phyllis regrets giving Michael an important job at her wedding after several embarrassing moments. Pam has flashbacks of her own wedding planning when she sees Phyllis's decorations. Meanwhile, Dwight is determined to catch wedding crashers.
Episode 16 - Business School: Ryan invites Michael to be a guest speaker at his business school. Meanwhile, Dwight battles a bat that gets loose in the office while Pam invites co-workers to her first art show.
Episode 17 - Cocktails: At a company event, Jan and Michael decide to come clean to the CFO about their relationship. While the rest of the office goes out for drinks, Jim meets Karen's ex.
Episode 18 - The Negotiation: After Darryl discusses a payrise with Michael, the two of them, plus Toby, go to corporate in order to negotiate the raise. Meanwhile, Jim must deal with the consequences of Pam's confession to Roy.
Episode 19 - Safety Training: Returning from anger management, Andy promises to make amends with his co-workers. Michael and Dwight lead the employees in safety training.
Episode 20 - Product Recall: Dunder-Mifflin is thrown into damage control when paper is released with an obscene watermark. Michael addresses the media while Jim and Andy try to calm a school principal who used the affected paper to send out invitations to the prom.
Episode 21 - Women's Appreciation: Outrage breaks out in the office after Phyllis gets an unexpected eyeful from a flasher. Michael makes some important personal decisions when he takes the women on a special outing. Meanwhile, Dwight and Andy work on catching the predator.
Episode 22 - Beach Games: The workers head out to the beach, where Michael forces them to compete in Survivor-like challenges to find out who among them is the best employee so he can find his successor to become manager of Dunder-Mifflin Scranton.
Episode 23 - The Job: In an hour-long episode, Michael, Jim and Karen interview for a job opening at Corporate, leaving Dwight in charge of the Scranton branch.

The Office: Season 2 Episode Quotes

Episode 1 - The Dundies: After the annual staff Dundies awards is redlined by Corporate, Michael is uncertain if he can produce the caliber of evening his staff have come to expect.
Episode 2 - Sexual Harassment: Michael fears that a new Corporate crackdown on sexual harassment will dampen his reputation as the office "forward king".
Episode 3 - Office Olympics: While Michael and Dwight are out of the office for the day trying to close a deal on a new condo for Michael, Jim and Pam arrange for the staff to participate in an "Office Olympics."
Episode 4 - The Fire: The office is forced into the parking lot for the day when a fire starts in the kitchen
Episode 5 - Halloween: Michael must fire someone by the end of the day, and he has no idea who it will be.
Episode 6 - The Fight: Talk of Dwight's karate experience gets Michael's competitive juices flowing, leading to a lunchtime match between them at Dwight's dojo.
Episode 7 - The Client: While Michael and Jan try to close a deal with a new client, the office staffers perform a table read of a screenplay Michael has written.
Episode 8 - Performance Review: Michael conducts annual performance reviews while he himself is reviewed by Jan. Jim and Pam convince Dwight it's actually Friday.
Episode 9 - Email Surveillance: Michael discovers that he is the only member of the office not invited to Jim's barbecue party. Meanwhile, Pam thinks she may have discovered something about Dwight and Angela.
Episode 10 - Christmas Party: Michael converts the annual Secret Santa gift exchange to a Yankee swap when he is dissatisfied with his gift, throwing Jim's plan to give a special gift to Pam into disarray.
Episode 11 - Booze Cruise: Michael chooses a nighttime lake cruise for the annual camaraderie event.
Episode 12 - The Injury: Michael burns his foot while grilling bacon on his George Foreman grill. When Dwight leaves the office to "rescue" him, he crashes his car and suffers a concussion.
Episode 13 - The Secret: After confiding in Michael about his secret crush on Pam on the Booze Cruise, Jim begins to fear that Michael may not be up to the task of keeping his secret. Dwight investigates Oscar's suspicious absence from work on Spring cleaning day.
Episode 14 - The Carpet: When someone deposits an odorous substance on the carpet in Michael's office, he spends the day at Jim's desk - relocating Jim to a back room with Kelly. While at Jim's desk, Michael holds a sales contest with the other salesmen and continues to wreak havoc on other areas of the office. Kelly asks Jim if he could find out if Ryan is interested in her.
Episode 15 - Boys and Girls: Corporate forces the female Dunder Mifflin employees to attend a "women in the workplace" seminar, conducted by Jan. Michael (in retaliation) assembles all the men in the warehouse for a "men in the workplace" seminar.
Episode 16 - Valentine's Day: Michael spends Valentine's Day in a meeting with other branch managers at Corporate in New York City as varied levels of romance occur back in the Scranton office.
Episode 17 - Dwight's Speech: Dwight is named Dunder Mifflin Salesman of the Year and is terrified about the speech he must make at a big convention, so Michael (who won Salesman of the Year twice in a row) begins coaching Dwight on proper public speaking behavior. Jim decides to take a trip out of town, but has trouble deciding on his destination.
Episode 18 - Take Your Daughter to Work Day: When Dunder Mifflin employees bring their children into work, Michael begins to express his good nature toward children. Pam, who admits to not being good with kids but wishes to change this because she is getting married, is determined to befriend just one child.
Episode 19 - Michael's Birthday: Michael tries various ruses to get the staff interested in his birthday, but they're more concerned about Kevin's test for skin cancer.
Episode 20 - Drug Testing: When Dwight finds a half-smoked joint in the Dunder Mifflin parking lot, he is determined, in his capacity as a volunteer sheriff's deputy, to expose the guilty parties. Following a jinx, Pam forces Jim into a position where he is not allowed to talk for the rest of the day.
Episode 21 - Conflict Resolution: Michael takes it upon himself to facilitate conflict resolution by reading all of the complaints aloud to the office, which causes more office tension.
Episode 22 - Casino Night: The warehouse is converted into a casino for a charity casino night and Michael accidentally winds up with two dates (Carol and Jan). Jim considers transferring to the Stamford branch as his secret crush on Pam finally comes to a head.

The Office: Season 1 Episode Quotes

Episode 1 - Pilot: A documentary crew arrives at the offices of Dunder Mifflin to observe the employees and learn about modern management. Manager Michael Scott tries to paint a happy picture in the face of potential downsizing.
Episode 2 - Diversity Day: A consultant arrives to teach the staff about tolerance and diversity but Michael insists on imparting his own knowledge. Jim struggles to keep hold of a lucrative contract extension.
Episode 3 - Health Care: Michael puts Dwight in charge of choosing the company's new health care plan.
Episode 4 - The Alliance: Dwight forms an alliance with Jim in the wake of downsizing rumors. Michael arranges a morale-boosting birthday party for Meredith and is determined to come up with the funniest message in her card.
Episode 5 - Basketball: Michael and the office staff take on the workers in the warehouse in a basketball game.
Episode 6 - Hot Girl: When an attractive purse saleswoman comes to the office, Michael and Dwight openly vie for her attention.