Radical Mastectomy Life Coaching with Jeanne Prom

I had just moved to Texas with my young husband and 2 year old baby. I was slender, healthy looking, and loving being a Mommy. The move was not exactly the place I would have chosen but my husband was transferred there, and so that was that. It was about 1977.

One hot, hot, hot (did I say hot?) evening around 7 or so, I was getting huffy as "hubby" was late for dinner. I folded my arms over my chest, with my hands up under my arms in frustration and anger. SOMEHOW, I immediately felt a lump under my left armpit area, with the middle finger of my right hand. Now, I don't even think at that time in my life I was aware of "mastectomy's", but I knew the lump, about the size of a pea, kind of
under the skin, but not too deep, was not a good thing.

I made an appointment to see a surgeon. He said, (I can't believe this now.... as I look back on it, which I do not do very often) "Oh, I think you will be fine, you are young, heatlhy looking," . He told me to come back in three weeks, and we would see if it had changed any and if so, he would aspirate it. That means taking a needle and sticking it into the lump to try to extract liquid.

Three weeks later, I return. Lump still there. He aspirates, and the news is not good. No liquid. That was suspicious, and likely meant a tumor of some sort, rather than a simple cyst. The next step was scheduling surgery. Unbelieveable. Surgery to see if I had breast cancer. It was a thought I had not ever "consciously" thought. Shock does not adequately describe how I felt, but it is the best I can do.

Surgery day came, and when I came to, I was alone in my room. I did not know what had happened. I knew that one of two likely things had transpired. One, he took the lump out and that was the end of it, it was not cancerous, or...... two, I no longer had a breast, as the deal was that IF it was cancer, he would just go ahead and remove the breast. My husband had been told to go home to rest, as the operation was quite a long one. I believe they told me it was 8 hours long. My husband told them not to tell me any results without him being with me. That was kind and thoughtful of him, but the Dr. did not apparently get that message. He waltzed in and told me I had cancer, with absolutely NO bedside manner at all. So there I lay. Stupified? Shocked? AFRAID beyond belief that I may die. Worse yet, that I may die and not be there for my little baby son, who was about 2. Not a good day of my life.

Hours later, my husband did come see me. I really do not remember what that visit was like. He was young too. Younger than I was. About 25.
Neither of us knew anything about dealing with such tradgedy. We just had to take it all one step at a time. We had to listen to the recommendations and advice of the hospital staff. We had no family around. That was hard. Really hard. I just now realize what lonely and difficult times my husband must have had at that time, and for the years that followed. I was so focused upon myself. Now, as a much more mature and wiser woman, I would be very different, but hey, 27? I was a "girl" really. Had not really matured into "womanhood" but was surely on my way.

For one year, I took chemotherapy. It was no cup of tea. Know it has changed alot over the past 34 years, but I imagine it is sill no cup of tea. I got shots in the top of my hand for one year, once a month. Took pills for two out of the four weeks. Sorta felt naseaus, but started to develop a very strong mind at that time, and told myself I was FINE. I told myself I was healing every day. I used the faith I had and built upon it. I figured if God was IN me, then cancer could not be in me. I started jogging daily. I swam. I took my little boy with me wherever I went and loved him as much as any human can love another human being. I cuddled, kissed, played with read to and had fun cooking for this most precious gift of my child.
He went to chemo with me. He was my strength. He was my reason to want to live. I wanted with all my heart to teach him, protect him and see him grow up. I gave life to him, and now HE was giving life back to me. Our relationship remains very special and strong to this day.

My husband and I did not make it , however. He stayed on for 1 but the 3 more years, and then we got divorced. The cancer changed me and I began to grow in a different , more spiritual way. He, on the other hand used work, golf and the guys to help him avoid thinking about me and my health and the possible ramifications of it. We did not know for years whether I would make it or not. Makes one really think alot about their life when faced with not knowing what was around the corner. I had alot more on my mind and in my heart than the usual young adult thoughts, believe me.

A woman needs to be with a partner that can cope in a healthy way if she is going through a mastectomy. We don't all get that, so we have to learn how to cope in a healthy way by ourselves with the help of other "seasoned veterans". The different stages of the whole process can be really frustrating, from learning how to move your arm again to figuring out just what breast prosthesis is going to work out best for you. (That means, what kind will not float up to our neck in the swimming pool, or flop out in front of the postman. Yes, these things did happen to me, and many others. It has been a long, but very wonderful 34 years, with many funny stories that no other woman could tell, but me! It helps a woman in theh process to be strenthened by one who has completed the process, and I may say, with flying colors! :)

The world is such a different place these days. Women and some men have grown psychologically more aware, more conscious and better equipt to deal with difficult times far more effectively than people back in the late 70's. There are great television shows with people speaking from their hearts about all sorts of terrible tradgedies and how they faced them and dealth with them. There are tens of thousands of books and self help CD's, and blogs. There are life coaches for just about everything.

My spiritual journey took me to Omega Institute of Higher Learning, in Rhinebeck, NY. A beautiful place, nested in the hills near the Hudson River, just about 2 hours north of NYC. There, I began my process of adding on to my college major of psychology, and masters work in art therapy, by pursuing "Life Empowerment Coaching". It was the BEST thing I could have done for myself, my own personal growth and it has given me a track to run on, helping others to find their real true selves, their strong, creative, empowered, healthy selves, and it is a most rewarding career. It brings joy all the way around. Because of my history with breast cancer, I am fully qualified to work with female clients who find themselves facing that demon.

I use a proven 12 week program to help women shift from a place of pain and suffering into a place of realizing the truth of who they are; their
spiritual identity , their beauty, strengths, abilities, value, what they have to offer their families, and the world. I coach with compassion, patience, extensive education and humor. What is life without humor, and boy do I have some funny radical mastectomy experiences to share, but the woman has to be in the right stage of her healing to fully appreciate them. They say timing is everything. That and location.

Speaking of location, I can life coach over the phone. Matter a fact most life coaching, in general, is done over the phone. It saves time, energy moeny , gas and stress. It's just that easy and so comfortable to just cozy up for an hour a week, get a cup of something you like, shut the door, and away we go, to the coaching space where lots of very exciting work is done. And 12 weeks later a whole, more aware, more free and flexible woman emerges, excited about living and growing more each day.

If you read this and want more information about my life coaching, please visit my blog where , on the right hand side, you can click on different areas of information regarding me, the process of life coaching, testimonials, and more. You can email me anytime at jeanneprom@yahoo.com and I will be happy to answer any questions and or set up a free consultation for you.

I am sharing all this so that it may help some one or two or many. Helping others heal themselves is something I can do. I have healed myself with the help of God, or what some call the Creator, Divine Source, All that Is, The One, whatever, it does not matter. The point is that healing is available to all of us. We just need to ask for it. It comes in strange ways, through some strange people at times, thru songs, books, nature, meditation and prayer. It can come fast or slow. It really is up to us. What do we really, really, really want? We are creating our own realities, but most of the time we are doing it subconsciously. Isn't it about time we do so CONSCIOUSLY?!!! I think so.

We each have many gifts, talents, tools, degrees, qualifications, certifications, diplomas, etc that we have that can help others with. At this time in my life I am pulling out all the stops and using everything I have, whether born with it or learned it or earned it, in order to help others to WAKE UP to realize there are no victims in this life. We are all creators, creating our very own scenarios. My passion is to help people shift from creating unconsciously to creating consciously. To help guide them OUT of pain and INTO joy, fulfillment, radiant health and prosperity in all good ways, especially in love.

I hope this "Lens" as they call them, has helped you in some way. Thanks for reading it.
Jeanne