Do you have a LGBT Parent or two?
There are lots of us adults with LGBT parents floating around in the world. It's hard for us to find a place to fit in. Those of us who are straight don't quite fit into the straight world and we identify as part of the LGBT community, even though we aren't always included there.
There are many things that come up in adulthood. We decide who knows the truth about our parents. We're open about it in some places and not in others. We feel a sense of responsibility to keep our parents away from those who don't approve. Some of us feel we MUST participate in the queer community through marches and rallies. Sometimes we don't want to do all those things. Sometimes it seems like our lives are ruled by our parents sexuality.
We ONLY have to be who we are!
We all have choices in our lives and their comes a time when we choose how we live our lives.
There was a point in my life where I thought I HAD to be a gay rights activist. You know, go to marches, vote, send letters to congress, show up at pride parades. Then I came to the realization that ... hmmmm...this isn't MY battle. This is MY MOM's battle. At that point I quit FIGHTING for gay rights. That's not to say that I quit supporting my Mom. In fact, when the topic comes up, I'm the first to stand up for gay rights. I just don't go out of my way to join the activities anymore.
So what?! My Mom's gay. That doesn't have to determine who I am and how I live my life. I get to choose what I stand for, what's important to ME and what's not. I encourage anyone out there with a LGBT parent to love your parent and live your life.
LGBT links that might be useful
- Rainbow In Me
- Web page for Rainbow In Me
- Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere
- National organization that sponsors meetings and family weeks for children of the LGBT community.
- Families Like Mine
- Blog and book by Abigail Garner. Lots of good stuff here from OUR perspective.
Books to help you along the way.
Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is
Amazon Price: $11.86 (as of 10/07/2008)
Out of the Ordinary: Essays on Growing Up with Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Parents
Amazon Price: $14.35 (as of 10/07/2008)
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
Amazon Price: $8.40 (as of 10/07/2008)
Fearless Living
Amazon Price: $10.17 (as of 10/07/2008)
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Amazon Price: (as of 10/07/2008)
Ask a question or leave your comment.
Feel free to leave a question for Kristen or a supportive message for others who may read this lens.
Wonderful to see this -- so many people make assumptions about children of gay parents, and so few people ASK.
I'm glad you were able to separate your own life from your mothers' situation. A cause, no matter how just, shouldn't be forced onto someone else-- then it becomes a cult or crusade. Each person has to decide how much they want to commit to this or that matter that needs fixing, and how much to live their own lives... and living one's life well is a valid thing to do.
I had to let go of a longterm relationship because my partner was in a perpetual state of protest, always vegan and making sure our phone company was socially responsible and and and... I felt guilty for not being as vigilant!
It's a hard balance to strike between living your life responsibly without letting causes overwhelm it, and apathy.
Posted March 10, 2008
Great advice. Sometimes simply being who you are is even more effective at changing other people's ideas than participating in marches and rallies.
Posted January 27, 2008
Kristin, thanks for stopping by my lens!
I love your interesting variety of lenses. I should take a lesson from you and find all the lenses inside of me. :-)
Posted August 20, 2007
Kristin,
How wonderful of you to share such a personal side of your life, these are things that I simply have never thought about! Each of us are so unique and all of us have past life experiences that make us uniquely us. Let God use them to bless others through you.
Posted August 18, 2007
