Raising a Boy or a Future Man?
Raising a son without thinking about the ultimate goal is like starting a journey without a destination. As parents, we are not raising boys, we are raising a future man. What kind of man is determined a great deal on how we, as parents, influence him in the short time we have as he is growing up.
The Three Things Every Boys Wants to Know
What is a Boundary
Every boy is hardwired to desire the following three things.1)What are the rules? Boy need and crave structure
2)Who is in charge?
3)Who is going to enforce the rules?
Boys want and need these three things in families. Gangs are a good example of boys trying to be men. They have unknowingly created the above three rules within every gang's structure.
Boys love permissiveness when it comes to structure however, they will struggle internally and often create their own pseudo structures that are often negative.
Why is it that boys create pecking orders when playing on the school yard? Pecking order in the masculine gender is a form of structure. It certainly is not fun being the bottom of the totem pole or the last to be chosen in a game. So as you can see, boys will naturally create structure in all boy relationships without any training.
What Only a Man/Father model to a boy
What Every Boy Needs
1.How to work
2.How to love a woman
3.How to know his heart
4.How to defend himself
5.What masculine spirituality looks like.
6.How to be a husband, father, citizen
7.What does it mean to man
8.To be strong and move with purpose and power
9.Passivity---only if you are passive
10.To know when not to be a child and become a man
11. How to navigate the perils of the masculine journey
Passivity and Men
Where Do Boys Learn Passivity?
Do these things and it is doubtful you will ever see passivity dominate this future man's life. What you will likely see is a man who will make a difference in this world. The world needs more men like this.
The Way of The Wild Heart
John Eldridge
The Way of the Wild Heart: A Map for the Masculine Journey
Amazon Price: $15.63 (as of 10/06/2008)
Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul
Amazon Price: $10.19 (as of 10/06/2008)
New Guestbook
Hey Evan, Wow this is a great web site. I informed my Pastor about it and we hope to have you come speak at our church. Currently we have a men's Bible study that meets on Saturday mornings and we think this might be perfect. Love you and hope to see you soon.
Posted April 23, 2008
Very, very nice! Lots of wisdom for fathers that I will make reference to in my divorce education classes. Thanks for making such a fine contribution for dads!
Posted February 07, 2008
