Recently I found myself in a situation where a group of kids were gathered in my front lawn and in the midst of this gathering two tween-aged girls were arguing and cursing at one another, their yelling was becoming increasingly louder with each profanity. I stood for a moment at my door in utter shock but felt I had to step out and diffuse a rapidly escalating situation because they were about to come to "blows". I could not allow this display to continue in the presence of my 10 yr old daughter.

I explained to these girls that there was no need for this kind of behavior and I didn't care what the argument was about, they needed to either stop it all together or take it somewhere else because I would not stand for this going on in my front lawn. The group began to disassemble with some grumbling but nothing too serious just kids being kids...until one girl, my daughter's age, turned around and said "F*** you, you b****!" I was taken back but it did not stop me from saying a few choice words of my own, which included "Your Mother needs to teach you some manners little girl!" Which brought about this question...What happened to teaching children respect? Not only to respect themselves but others as well. Growing up, I was taught to respect my elders. Heck, the knowledge of the fact that I would be dragged home to my mother and father or that they would receive a phone call or visit was enough to deter me from behaving badly! I understand that in society, influences both good and bad abound but it is our responsibility as parents to instill strong, positive values in our children and help them to recognize what is right and what is not, also not only recognize it but also to know that with every action, there is a consequence.

I leave you with this thought, children are our future and a reflection of us!

I have always been a firm believer in open, honest and non-judgmental commmunication between parents and children. From the time she was the age of 5, my daughter (she is now 10 yrs old) and I take an hour (sometimes longer) out of our day to sit and discuss issues ranging from friends, school or anything else that she is either excited, nervous or upset about. These moments are the perfect opportunity for me as a parent to know exactly what is going on in my child's life and it gives her the security of knowing that she can trust and confide in me! There are times when I am busy and lose track of time but she is right there saying to me "Mom, its our discussion time!" I stop whatever I am doing at that moment and we begin our discussion. I hope this is something that will remain an important part of her life as she grows closer to her teen years.

Take the time to talk to your kids, whether you have only one child or five children. Remain active in every aspect of their life and KNOW who their friends are. I sound like a public service announcement but I really cannot stress enought how vital it is to play an active part in your kids life. Work together instead of against one another and your child/children WILL be the better for it.

Recently my husband and I purchased a new home in a different town than where we lived for 11 yrs. Yikes, two houses but we both make a great living so financially it will not be a burden and this home we purchased happens to be in my hometown! WOOHOO!

Moving for us was a big decision but one that we knew would be beneficial to the three of us in all aspects of our life. Admittedly, given the experiences my daughter has had with the kids in our previous town we were a little apprehensive because alot of times it is to a childs DISADVANTAGE to be the "new kid".

Today was her first day and for the first time in a VERY long time my daughter was EXCITED about going to school! I waited 1/2 a block away from the bus stop (our home is that close to the stop which is good in case I have to run I won't require medical attention...HAHA) to make sure she was okay, because we all know how kids can be! Needless to say my nerves were on edge but the instant she arrived at the stop the kids were friendly and curious about her and wanted to know all about her. The smile on her face brought tears to my eyes! One boy arrived a little later than the rest of them and he said something sarcastic about how tall my daughter is (she's almost 5ft 2in and only 10 yrs old). Anyway, my daughter was about to say something to the kid but three of the other children got in front of her and told the boy to shut up or they would shut him up. WOW!!! The look of shock and surprise on my daughter's face made me chuckle! It was at that moment, I felt in my heart that my daughter would be alright something I haven't felt for an eternity it seems. A wonderful feeling indeed!

I found it very interesting as well as heartwarming to see that my daughter's school still referenced their annual Christmas program as precisely that, a CHRISTMAS program!

I can remember as a kid, the torturous task of wearing a dress and smiling big and the utter dread of being "the kid that messed up the whole song".

As I sat in the audience listening to the angelic and often comical singers it became a realization to me that I was in that moment as my parents were many moons ago listening to me as a child. I found that astonishing and somewhat overwhelming! My daughter's class emerged from behind the brilliant blue curtain and I found I couldn't breathe. The site of her up there on that stage, smiling and singing was truly a magical moment for my husband and I.

First and foremost and I really want you to think about this....how many times have you commented off-handedly to your child that you felt you, yourself, look fat in something or you are ugly? Your child looks up to you and is absorbing everything you say and do....How can you expect your child to be confident if you lack confidence yourself? These comments are teaching your child that thinking negatively about one's self is okay and acceptable behavior.

We all have bad days and I am certainly no exception but it is important to remain as positive as possible if you feel you must relay your feelings about yourself or others to your children. You have the power to either positively or negatively influence your child and their way of thinking in all aspects of their life.

Okay parents, Summer Break has either begun for your child/children or it is well on its way to beginning. One of the most important things to remember is that your young one's mind is preoccupied with friends and summer fun and educational stimuli will be the furthest thing from their minds. You as a parent need to keep them educationally stimulated but not to the point where they become tired or bored with education.

Some suggestions would be to continue nightly reading rituals but make them more fun and perhaps summer theme type stories. Encourage your child to begin to keep a journal to express their personal thoughts and no matter how difficult it will be, keep your nose out of it! This is for them, not you, this is not only to encourage them to express themselves privately but it encourages them to practice their writing skills. Take your child to a local childrens' museum or if you plan on traveling this summer turn it into an educational journey. Learn some interesting, yet fun, historical facts about your destination and discuss them with your child. The world around your young one is a vast learning structure and is begging to be explored, help them learn and perhaps you may learn something in return...

Teaching your child/children from an early age to be compassionate, understanding and open minded is very vital especially in a world full of intolerance and hate for any thing or any one who is special or unique (I refuse to use the word different because that implies negativity).

Regardless of the subject matter, speak openly and honestly with your young one. Be prepared for some really tough questions because your young one is very inquisitive and will want to know EVERYTHING! Always, always remember that you are their biggest influence when it comes to all things and you must ask yourself how you want your children to remember you and the things you taught them..You have the power to be a negative role model or to be a strong positive role model..which do you prefer to be?

Here are some of the examples of the many different areas I've already had to discuss....

Disabilities: My daughter was fortunate enough to learn about the uniqueness of disabilities at an early age. Her grandfather was an amputee. His leg was amputated when he was in his mid 30's after being struck by a vehicle driven by a drunk individual. He also had other difficulties due to various strokes and heart problems. He has since passed away (November 2005) but she was fortunate enough that he was able to pass on to her the willingness to talk with others and the importance of helping others understand by giving them the opportunity to sit, listen and perhaps for a brief moment view the world as someone with a disability does.

Ethnicity/Race: A very touchy subject matter. Growing up I knew at an early age that I did not want to look at people in the negative fashion they were being portrayed around my home. I am raising my daughter to be of the same mind set. Some people say and believe that hatred and intolerance breed hatred and intolerance..fortunately in my circumstance that is further from the truth. I have always believed in equality among ALL people and that no one should be judged based on the color of their skin or on where they originated from. It is my hope that with my influence my daughter will pass on what I have passed on to her, to her children, which is equality among all and compassion for ALL people.

Elderly: These are the most important people in our society. They have given so much and lived through many hardships that my generation could only fathom. Teach your children the priviledge that it is to be among the elderly and to hear their tales. To be blessed with the opportunity to learn from one who is older and wiser than you is a precious gift indeed and a true honor.

Sexual Orientation: Recently my daughter made the statement that it wasn't "normal" for two people of the same sex to be in a relationship. I asked her to define normal as she sees it for that type of situation. She explained that normal to her was a man/woman relationship. I then proceeded with "why?" Her answer, because she likes boys and besides everyone says that is how it is suppose to be. She and I had a rather lengthy discussion regarding this statement and how I do not agree with who she refers to as "everyone". I believe to each their own and that we all have our preferred genders and I feel it is not up to she or I to judge the sexual orientation of another as normal or not.

There are so many factors to consider when discussing sensitive subject matters with your young one, such as your personal beliefs, religion and societal influence but ultimately it is going to boil down to stating how you see things, question them about how they see things and allow them to form their own thoughts and opinions but help them to understand that others see things differently as well and to be understanding and considerate of those thoughts and opinions.

Teaching your young one right from wrong is all part of being a parent. Doing so in a manner where your child knows beyond a shadow of doubt there is a consequence for wrong doing while not instilling a sense of terror is a sure sign of positive and effective parenting.

Consequential Lesson - When my daughter was old enough to start cleaning her room on her own and knew it was her responsibility to do so she knew it didn't have to be perfect but still had to be neat and that her toys had to be put away. One day I asked her to clean her room and she refused to do so. I informed her I would give her 30 minutes to get her room picked up and whatever remained on the floor would be packed up and given to charity. 30 minutes passed, I went to her room and she had not done what was asked of her. I grabbed a bag, she and I put everything that was not picked up into the bag and took them to Goodwill and she was responsible for turning in the bag of her neglected toys. Of course she was crying and carrying on but she knew it was her doing and if she had picked them up like she was asked to do then she would not have had to give them away. It was really a win-win situation because she learned that I would follow through with what I said would occur if she did not do what was expected of her and another child would benefit from being able to have her toys, she had some really nice expensive toys in that bag. To this day, even though there are moments of rebellion she always does what is asked because she knows I will follow through with what I set forth as punishment if she does not.

Violent Methodology - "If my child said anything like that, they wouldn't have any teeth left" I cannot begin to tell you how many times I've heard such a statement from parents and it disgusts me! However, sadly the reality is some parents actually do physically harm and injure their young ones. As a child I was never severly injured but I did suffer from physical and emotional bruising. I was yelled at as well as had things thrown at me and I was hit with either their hand or a leather belt. Not to mention smacked in the mouth, as well as physically grabbed and shaken if I did not bend to their will. I did not respect my parents, I feared them and I swore I would NEVER treat my child in that manner. The first time I swatted my daughter on the rear for misbehavior it made me sick and I have never thought about doing it since and CHOOSE to instill a sense of understanding that if she does something wrong, there will always be a consequence. Violence is never the way to get someone to do as you want them to, especially someone who is smaller and unable to defend themselves. If you physically harm your precious angel, shame on you and all I have to say is..if someone isn't smart enough to take them away from you then wait until they are old enough to fight back, you'll reap what you've sewn in more ways than one.

All Summer long your young one has more than likely enjoyed lazy days with not a care in the world other than what fun activity they were going to do that day, as it should be. Being the clever parent you are however, I am sure you snuck in some wonderfully educational activities without making your young one feel they were learning..LOL..

For most young ones, school has either begun for them or it is well on its way to beginning. Most parents know what this means..the first couple of mornings are tough not only on you but for your young one who is use to sleeping in and staying up later than their normal bedtime set for when school is in session. A suggestion I recommend, if you are stay at home parent (because you know you've used this opportunity to sleep in as well..LOL), is start them off on their "school related" bedtime a week or two before they are actually slated to start school. This will give them time to become acclimated to their "school related" bedtime. This will also be a prime opportunity for you to wake them up in the mornings according to their "school related" wake-up time and this will allow you to work in even more school related activities to refresh your young one's mind. If you are a working parent, chances are this is a moot point because with your own schedule you have kept their bedtime relatively closer to their "school related bedtime" throughout the Summer for daycare purposes.

My daughter is of the age now that she knows when school begins what is expected of her. She knows bedtime is 8:30 p.m. so pj's need to be on, face washed, and teeth brushed by 8:15 p.m. In the mornings she knows she is to get straight up, take a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, bed is to be made, teeth brushed and then make sure everything is in her backpack ready for school. She knows after school she is to come home, grab a snack and some milk and begin her homework and after her homework has been completed, checked over and reviewed we discuss her day and then play time can begin. She is well aware that there is no debate or discussion about this routine, she gets right to it and this can be attributed to strict guidelines set forth by her father and I when she started Kindergarten. It is a little difficult to set guidelines during Kindergarten and the 1st grade because in actuality homework does not really play a part until 2nd grade but you can still do fun activites such as coloring, reading, practicing letters and numbers and refer to these activities as HOMEWORK so your young one becomes familiar with the phrase.

Consistency while raising of your young one cannot be stressed enough...Be consistent in YOUR actions and they will be consistent in THEIRS!