WWE Raw

November 16, 2009

That was how Raw's special guest host, none other than "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, officially kicked off the broadcast from a place he knows well, The World's Most Famous Arena, Madison Square Garden. And boy, the WWE Hall of Famer sure wasn't kidding.

WWE Champion John Cena & World Heavyweight Champion The Undertaker def. Triple H & Shawn Michaels and Unified Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho & Big Show in a Non-Title Match
Madison Square Garden has been witness to some of WWE's most amazing Superstars throughout its storied history: Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant and Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka to name but a few. Rare, nonetheless, seems the time when such legends converge at once. That was inarguably the case, however, as WWE Champion John Cena teamed with World Heavyweight Champion The Undertaker against Triple H & Shawn Michaels and Unified Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho & Big Show in a Triple Threat Tag Team Match.

Looming large in the subtext was Survivor Series, during which The Champ will face The Game and HBK in a Triple Threat Match while The Phenom must battle Jericho and Show in a three-man affair. Tonight, though, all six Superstars would compete in one colossal clash.

In the end, the two World Champions would prevail when Cena secured the victory for his team. As if to let the WWE Universe know that he needs no assistance, The Deadman suddenly turned on his partner and Tombstoned Cena, leaving the WWE Champion razed and confused.

Raw's special guest host for next week will be Jesse Ventura
He's taken control of the ring, the announcer's mic and even the state of Minnesota. And next week, it'll be time for Jesse Ventura to take over as special guest host when he drops by for a three-hour Raw Thanksgiving special.

"Rowdy" Roddy Piper challenged Mr. McMahon to a street fight; Randy Orton attacked, Kofi Kingston rushed to the rescue
Raw's special guest host, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, has beaten cancer and cheated death on numerous occasions. One mountain he hasn't climbed, though, is tackling Mr. McMahon in a street fight, which is why the plaid maniac challenged The Chairman to such a battle earlier in the evening.

As Piper waited in vain for Mr. McMahon to show, Randy Orton emerged, wanting a fight of his own. The Viper attacked the WWE Hall of Famer and had him on the ropes when Kofi Kingston charged into the melee. The respective Survivor Series captains of Team Kofi and Team Orton share a resentment-fueled history, which includes Kofi trashing Orton's customized NASCAR automobile and slapping him across the face - twice! The two scuffled outside of the ring, trading blows amongst the WWE faithful. The action intensified when Kofi slammed Orton across the head, opening up a nasty gash and leaving The Viper lying hurt atop a table. The dreadlocked dynamo then climbed atop a railing and hit a Boom Drop onto Orton, severing the table into two and leaving his nemesis in gut-wrenching pain.

Jack Swagger def. Evan Bourne
Jack Swagger - rarely has a name seemed more fitting. The cocky collegiate All-American wrestler appeared to lose a bit of bluster last week when he dropped a match to high-flying Evan Bourne. In their rematch this week, Swagger wasn't about to allow his strut to be stripped. He grounded Bourne's aerial assault and proved that he will be a force to contend with when he joins Team Miz this Sunday at Survivor Series against Bourne and Team Morrison.

Sheamus attacked Jerry "The King" Lawler
His Irish temper has already claimed one victim, Jamie Noble, who retired last week after suffering a severe beating at the hands of The Celtic Warrior. This week, Sheamus issued an open challenge to the Raw roster, which no one accepted. Apparently, in a need to satiate his wicked ways, the Irishman attacked Raw's timekeeper and then went after ring announcer Jerry "The King" Lawler, leaving the WWE Hall of Famer lying motionless.

Divas Champion Melina def. Alicia Fox in a Lumberjill Match
Judah Friedlander never had it so good. The 30 Rock actor and comedian was honored as special guest ring announcer for the match between Divas Champion Melina and Alicia Fox. Friedlander announced that the bout would be a Divas Championship Lumberjill Match then happily looked on from ringside.

While Fox has showcased amazing resilience in recent weeks, Melina's gutsy performance proved too much as the Latina lovely retained the golden butterfly. Apparently, a few of the Divas disapproved and the entire ring was covered with sexy, smart and powerful women clashing with one another.

Santino Marella def. Chavo Guerrero; Triple H Pedigreed Hornswoggle
The week prior, Chavo Guerrero wanted to fight Santino Marella, but, thanks to a misunderstanding, he ended up battling boxing great Ricky Hatton and getting knocked out by the special guest host. This week, he got his wish. Instead of trampling The Italian Stallion, however, the self-proclaimed "Mexican Warrior" fell short when Hornswoggle distracted him.

While the leprechaun, clad in DX gear, disappeared under the ring, the real DX emerged to quell rumors and settle matters once and for all. Triple H and Shawn Michaels informed the crowd that they will indeed fight one another at Survivor Series in their Triple Threat Match with WWE Champion John Cena, but that competition will not be their undoing as a team. They also called out a reluctant Hornswoggle to, as they put it, include him in DX. When the little guy showed up wearing neon green and performing DX chops, though, he suffered a damning Pedigree at the hands of Triple H in an extreme effort at thwarting the little imitator once and for all.

United States Champion The Miz def. MVP
With his smarmy tone and taunting smirk, United States Champion The Miz makes it oh-so-easy to dislike him. Which is why it's too bad the guy just keeps winning. This week, he defended his title against MVP and emerged victorious, despite The Franchise Playa having The View's Sherri Shepherd cheering him from ringside. The bout may prove to be a primer for when Miz leads his team this Sunday against Intercontinental Champion John Morrison, also the captain of his team, in a Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match.

"Rowdy" Roddy Piper opens Raw
Before greeting the WWE Universe to another edition of Raw, the WWE Hall of Famer welcomed New York actor Luis Guzman, who has had memorable roles in Boogie Nights and Traffic and can be seen in the upcoming comedy Old Dogs. Piper announced that the two would be joined by a Guzman favorite, Iron Chef Bobby Flay. Unfortunately for the Puerto Rican actor, a mix-up produced not the Iron Chef but The Iron Sheik.

After telling Piper that his favorite WWE moment from The Garden involved Hulk Hogan, Sheik flipped his head dress, rambling angrily and mimicking beating up on Hulk with a pair of action figures.

# United States Champion The Miz def. MVP
# Santino Marella def. Chavo Guerrero
# Divas Champion Melina def. Alicia Fox in a Lumberjill Match
# Jack Swagger def. Evan Bourne
# WWE Champion John Cena & World Heavyweight Champion The Undertaker def. Triple H & Shawn Michaels and Unified Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho & Big Show in a Non-Title Match

WWE Champion : WWE Champion: John Cena

United States Champion: The Miz

Unified WWE Tag Team Champion: Big Show

Divas Champion: Melina