1.) Walk into your local Spa and ask for if you can massage the receptionist rather than have someone massage you.

2.) Get in the Health Spa jacuzzi and plug all the bubble vents. If anyone asks why the bubbles have stopped, apologize and say you didnt eat your usual 12 tins of beans last night.

3.) Apply as many Beauty Products as you can, then wander around the sauna aimlessly, murmering ba ba blacksheep.

4.) When you go to the Health Spa to get a massage, fart loudly and then exclaim loudly "How dare you?"

5.) Ask for a mud bath at your local Health Spa, then ask if they have any genetically modified mud. As you are a mud conservationist.

6.) Go to the front desk and ask the receptionist how to spell Spa.

7.) While receiving a foot massage, ask the kind lady if your little piggy is stressed from going to market.

8.) Wander over to the pool, and casually murmer 'oops' as you fall face first, fully clothed, into the depths of chlorine.

9.) Ask if they have a Non-Health Spa, because you like getting massaged, but you dont really care about the health part.

10.) Walk stark naked into the sauna at the Spa and turn to the nearest person and ask "is it cold in here?"