Redneck Jokes

You can burp and say your name at the same time.

Your father executes the "pull my finger" during family reunion party.

The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.

Your grandfather died and left everything to his widow. But she can't touch it until she's fourteen.

You go christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

You can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there is a law against it.

Second grade was the best three years of your life.

You've ever lost your wife in a poker game.

You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

You time a trip by how many beers you can drink.

Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

Your dad is also your favorite uncle.

Your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.

Going to the bathroom late at night requires shoes and a flashlight.

You lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.

You've watched an entire infomercial and said, "Hell yeah, I'm gonna get me one of them."

The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, Shithead?"

Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

You need an estimate from the barber before you get a haircut.

Your muffler is held on by a coat hanger.

You've been married three times but still have no new in-laws.

If this is all too much for you, and you are looking for more subtle humor with a good dose of romance, check out my list of Best Romantic Comedies