Redneck Valentines
Ranked #8,496 in Entertainment, #105,161 overall
Valentines Day - Redneck Style
Contents at a Glance
Romantic Rednecks
Roses are red, or are they blue? I don't know. but i do like you.I love you more than my truck's tires. Yer more useful than my old rusty pliers.
You cook a good deer and fry a good egg, just wish you'd shave that hair off your legs.
If you decide not to do it, Pumkin Face, It's okay, I'll just keep on tellin my buddies, yer up fer a part in Planet of the Apes.
Yer my pride and joys, What a lady! But hows come we KISS only when it's my payday?
When I ran over ya with my truck, you didn't even say "ouch." And you are so cute, when you wipe your boogers under the couch.
I hope we stay together, at least a couple more days- cuz i'm really in love jus like i sais. Happy VD!!!!!
Redneck Love Poem
Just to git ya in the mood for redneck love...
Best Redneck Pick Up Lines
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Installing Vinyl Siding
How Important is Concealment in Vinyl Siding Insta more...1 point
I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room.
0 points
You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.
0 points
Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
0 points
Ya might be a redneck if ...
ya git a valentine fer yo mama, yo sister and yo girlfriend
and only need one card!
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A Redneck Valentine
Redneck love poem
Kudzu is green, my dog's name is BlueAnd I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's And without all them fleas.
You move like the bass, Which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales But I luv you anyway.
You're as graceful as okry Jist a-dancin' in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop Right out of the can.
You have all yore teeth, For which I am proud;
I hold my head high When we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, When you shave yore armpits,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven, I'm plumb outta my wits.
Still them fellers at work They all want to know,
What I did to deserve Such a purty, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape Yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles And stick 'em in the can.
Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler Racin' through the mud,
Yet fragile as that sanger Named Naomi Judd.
Yo're as cute as a junebug A-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like no fire ant Upon which I oft' tread.
Cut from the best pattern Like a flannel shirt of plaid,
You sparked up my life Like a Rattletrap shad.
When you hold me real tight Like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection, Like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years, Yore age, it keeps hidin'.
And when you get old Like a '57 Chevy,
Won't put you on blocks And let grass grow up heavy.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie With a RC cold drank,
We go together Like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate For Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart, It's romantic that way.
Some men git roses On that special day
From the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds From a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever," They explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey, These will not do.
For you are too special, You sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, Without taste nor odor,
Better than diamonds it's a new trollin' motor.
Make Yo Redneck Valentine a Dump Cake!
- Serves: 10 - 12
- Prep Time: 10 minutes
- Total Time: 1 hour 10 minutes
Feeling down in the dumps? This easy Southern Dump Cake recipe will pick you up. Some southerners swear by this dump cake as a sure way NOT to get dumped, cause your honey will LOVE it. SO easy, it's a piece of cake to make. No mixing, just dump!
Ingredients
- 1 can can crushed pineapple (in heavy syrup)
- 1 can prepared fruit cherry pie filling
- 1 box yellow cake mix
- 2 sticks of butter or margarine each cut into 12 slices
- some chopped nuts (any kind ya like)
Instructions
DUMP CAKE RECIPE:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Have a 9 by 13-inch baking pan ready.
Dump undrained pineapple on baking dish and spread it out evenly. Then dump globs of cherry pie filling evenly on top of the pineapple. Sprinkle the cake mix evenly over the cherry and pineapple layers. Cut butter into slices with a butter knife and place slices evenly over cake mix. Sprinkle nuts on top if you're using them. To serve, just scoop cake out with a large spoon like a cobbler, and dump it on a bowl or plate. Serve warm or cold.
* OPTIONS: Try other fruit variations like blueberry, apple, strawberry, peach. Also try different cake mix flavors and additional toppings like maybe coconut or ??? Vanilla ice cream makes a delicious topping for dump cake, especially when the cake is still warm.
Rednecks Havin Fun
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ya hear?”
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Leave a redneck love note, or just a Howdy Ya'll.
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Rebeljohn
Feb 25, 2012 @ 12:14 am | delete
- great one
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JoshK47
Feb 16, 2012 @ 10:28 am | delete
- Definitely got a chuckle here - thanks for sharing! :)
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Joan4
Feb 3, 2012 @ 6:33 pm | delete
- oh that's my kind of poetry!
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ohcaroline
Feb 24, 2011 @ 4:12 pm | delete
- That certainly is a different kind of Valentine's celebration.
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grandmamarilyn
Feb 22, 2011 @ 10:42 pm | delete
- I guess redneck jokes and such are ok depending on my mood. Tonight my mood for them just isn't there.
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by crosscreations
Naw, I ain't no redneck. They just tickle me somethin fierce, especially these redneck valentines. BOY Howdy!
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