Christmas in Redneck Country
(With apologies to Clement Clark Moore)
Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the house,
Billy Bob and Mary Sue were in a quandry:
"We're as poor as a mouse.
"How can we deck all the halls with good cheer?
We've got twenty-five dollars and a tree
We chopped down, and we're here
In the middle of redneck country."
So they piled in the pickup, three kids in the back.
To the hardware store they drove;
It was the only place open on Christmas eve night.
So what happens to our redneck couple Billy Bob and Mary Sue and their three younguns? They arrive at the hardware store with $25.00 in hand. The saga continues ...
Start with Natural Garland
A Touch of Red
RED BANDANA - O/S - RED
$1.59 for each 22-by-22-inch bandana. Cut into two-inch strips, you can get 10 to 20 strips to add to your garland.
Amazon Price: (as of 11/29/2009) 
A Little Sparkle
1/2-13 WING NUT Box Qty. / 10
A box of 100 for only $9.95 will add lots of sparkle!
Amazon Price: (as of 11/29/2009)
Touch of Snow White
Nylon ANSI Flat Washer #6 Wide .156" ID x .562" OD x .04" Thick (Pack of 25)
Only $1.25 for 25 little snowflakes.
Amazon Price: (as of 11/29/2009)
A Project for the Kids
Sargent Art Set of 6 Acrylic Paints in .75 fl oz Jars
This little set of craft paints is only $3.99. The kids will have a great time painting their own special ornaments.
Amazon Price: (as of 11/29/2009)
Finishing Touches
Ultra Wire Color: Copper; Size: Large
$1.15 for a small spool to tie on dozens of ornaments and sparklies.
Amazon Price: $1.15 (as of 11/29/2009)
A Happy Ending
The clerk at the hardware store added up their purchases - $23.75! As they surveyed their purchases, they realized that their Christmas tree would be as beautiful as any from the big department stores. Billy Bob, Mary Sue and little ones gathered their treasures and headed back to their home in the country. They sprang to the truck and packed in the kids,
And away they all drove, mud flaps flailing behind.
But I heard them exclaim as they headed back home,
"Merry Christmas to all from your rich redneck friends!"
Footnote
This page is the result of the lens prompt from Kimberly Dawn Wells: "$25 to spend at the hardware store." I immediately thought about integrating a Christmas theme, and my daughter and I quickly thought of the Redneck Christmas Tree. Since I grew up in the country, I'm allowed to tell redneck stories. So what do you think?
-
Reply
- MobyD MobyD Dec 5, 2008 @ 11:20 am
- 5 stars! I've lensrolled this to my Hay Visage form Sane Ticklish lens.
-
Reply
- sandyspider sandyspider Dec 3, 2008 @ 12:51 pm
- I just thought about my cousin. Her name is Sue and her husband's name is Bob. They are always sending me redneck jokes.
Nice job!
-
Reply
- debnet debnet Sep 29, 2008 @ 3:39 pm
- I love it! So funny but practical too!! lensrolled to 'Christmas Crackers' 5*
-
Reply
- Her-Motorcycle Her-Motorcycle Dec 20, 2006 @ 3:12 pm
- You must be from the midwest...................this is just too funny!
-
Reply
- Shar Shar Nov 27, 2006 @ 12:07 pm
- Greetings, and Happy Holiday... I loved your lens, great work ! I have lensrolled you. Shar
- Load More
Ready-Made Christmas Tree Decorations
For those of us who don't want to make our own!
Snowman 65in Scene Setters 2ct
Bring a show man and his lovely wife right inside! 65-inch tall and 33 1/2-inch wide plastic cling decoration.
Amazon Price: $5.99 (as of 11/29/2009)
Olive Wood The Angel's Prayer Ornament.
Add a special touch to your Holiday Season this year with Olive Wood Ornaments. This ornament comes with the natural bark of the Olive Tree. This unique design was exclusively hand carved in Bethlehem, the Holy Land using a scroll saw. Ready to hang. Comes with a golden string and an explanation card. $4.99
Amazon Price: $4.95 (as of 11/29/2009)
Bethlehem Lighting Pre-Decorated 9-Foot Festive Red Berry Collection Garland Pre-Lit with 100 Clear Lights
Pre-decorated red berry garland adorned with bright red berries and lights. Pre-lit with 100 clear mini bulbs. Lights are UL listed for indoor or outdoor use. Measures 9 feet long. $25.00
Amazon Price: $43.99 (as of 11/29/2009)
Art Poster Print - Country Christmas - Artist: Jeanette Key Saicheck
This Country Christmas Poster is made with High Quality Poster paper and is made for years of enjoyment. Primary poster color= Dark Green** Secondary poster color= cream. $12.96
Amazon Price: (as of 11/29/2009)
