People often want to meet a business owner through a referral. Doing so removes some of the guesswork, and that's why referral marketing works so well.

This article will give you my proven strategy for asking for referrals from your clients without begging and without hurting the relationship. If you think that your clients won't give you referrals, think again.

Some Say You Can't Ask

There are a few "marketing gurus" who will tell you that you can't ask for referrals in today's marketplace. Please don't listen to them. They're wrong.

I've taught several thousands of professionals my simple method for asking for referrals and thousands are using it effectively to generate referrals. You can ask for referrals in a client-centered manner, and that increases your chances of success.

The VIPS Method(tm) for Asking for Referrals

V: Discuss the VALUE they've received.

Near the end of a client meeting (in person is better, but over the phone can work fine), ask your client what they find most valuable about your relationship, the work you've done, or what are some of the more important things you've accomplished (together) thus far. Discuss their value perceptions. Be genuinely interested in their response. Probe for clarity. Don't "tell" them the value you have brought to them; get them to tell you in their own words.

I: Treat the request with IMPORTANCE.

You treat the request with reverence in three ways:

a. Make sure you have enough time to have the conversation. Use an agenda for every meeting and put the item "Value Discussion" on the agenda - to make sure you do it!

b. If you met them through a referral, remind them.

c. Use confident words, body language, and tone of voice. Try saying, "I'm glad you see the value in the work we've been doing. Because of that "I have an important question to ask you."

When you enter into this conversation from a value discussion and treat the request with importance, you are coming from a position of strength. You know the value you bring to your clients and you want to bring that value to others.

P: Gain PERMISSION to brainstorm for introductions.

It's important that you get permission to talk referrals and that you set it up as a "brainstorming session." You're not begging for permission. In a confident way, you want to get buy-in for this conversation. This softens up the request just enough so your client won't feel put on the spot. You don't assume they want to give you referrals. You ask them, and you let them say "no."

The dynamic of brainstorming means that this is a collaborative process. You may know of people they don't think of and you can qualify the folks who come to mind to make sure they fit your practice.

S: SUGGEST names and categories.

Come prepared to this conversation with a few suggestions. When you "prime the pump" with an idea or two, you're more likely to be successful. You don't want to throw open the entire universe to them. They'll likely draw a blank. Stimulate their thinking by suggesting names of specific people (or categories of people) whom they've mentioned previously. Using money-in-motion questions or other trigger questions to stimulate their thinking.

Have you ever wondered how exactly you would ask for referrals from your clients? Sometimes it can help to look at a sample script. Use this as a guide and then choose to use words that feel natural to you.

YOU: So, Bob. We've talked about quite a few things over the past couple of weeks. I'm curious, what stands out as being the most important or valuable thing we've done thus far?

BOB: Well, I'd have to say that the most important thing is helping me get clear on a few things. I feel more clear and confident about my financial future. I now realize, if I follow your strategies, I should be able to have enough money to send my three children to private universities and still retire quite comfortably. As you know, I had been quite concerned about that. I also have a better handle on how I want to care for my family once I'm gone.

YOU: That's great. I'm glad you're finding value in the work we're doing. You know, if it wasn't for George, we wouldn't have met, nor had a chance to do this important work. I guess we both owe George some thanks.

BOB: I've already thanked him.

YOU: Good. You know, with that in mind, I have an important question to ask you.

BOB: Shoot.

YOU: I'm wondering if we could brainstorm for a few minutes to see if we can identify some folks you care about that you think should be aware of the work I do? Would you feel okay talking about that for a minute?

BOB: I suppose so.

YOU: Since we're just brainstorming here, I'll throw out a few ideas for us to explore. Last week you mentioned your sister Barbara. Maybe we can start with her.

BOB: Actually she might be a candidate for what you do.

YOU: Great. I'd like to learn more about her and we can talk about the most appropriate way for me to meet her, but first%u2026 There's a concept I call "Money in Motion" that might help us determine others you know who might truly need my help. For instance, like yourself, who do you know who's just recently sold or is thinking about selling their business?

BOB: Nobody comes to mind right this minute.

YOU: That fine. We're just brainstorming. Let me run another idea by you. We do some very important work for people who are in the mode of changing jobs. Who do you know who might be in that category?

It's really as simple as that. You need to find the words that work best for you. Just make sure you touch all the bases.

It's best to come to your meetings prepared to talk referrals rather than to wing it. As you prepare your agenda for your client meeting, think a little about what the value discussion might sound like. Be prepared for that. Then think a bit about whom you know who they might know. If you have thought through this conversation a bit, you'll be more confident - less likely to wimp out - and you'll be more effective in getting referrals.