How To Deal With A BAD Relationship - Relationship Coping Skills

This may sound very strange to you, but one of the best ways to save a relationship is to not try so hard. That's right, I said do not even try. Needy, begging people are just not attractive. Think back to a time when the situation was reveresed and the person kept after you. All you wanted was to be left alone. Right? Right! You betcha! But, when they stopped trying to call, after a few days you began to miss them. Maybe you saw something that you felt they would find funny, or something happened to you that you'd like to share and suddenly they weren't there to share it with.

There's no magic formula of course, but in order to save your relationship, if you just play it cool and relax, you will see a huge change in your partner's reaction to you. There's a reason why "James Dean" was so attractive...he wasn't overly demonstrative or pushy. He just sat there looking studly and it drew you to him by the sheer power of his strength.

If you really want to save your relationship, then you much have willpower. Do not call her/him for several days. Let there be a "cooling off" period. Give them time to miss you and wonder about you. Saving your relationship can sometimes be as easy as a few days off. Then, when you do finally talk to them just suggest a nice lunch to visit, or a drink after work, but don't be overly enthusiastic about seeing them. Act more like you will be seeing an old friend that you haven't seen for a while...you believe it would be wonderful to just get together to chat about old times. This will take the pressure off, bring your relationship back to the lightheartedness you once felt. It gives your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend a chance to remember what it was like way back before the hurt feelings began.

You have ther power to save your relationship if you really want to. Just...chill...

First off, be sure to get plenty of sleep and eat appropriately. This seems so very simple, yet many of us do not take it to heart. Even without the stress of a bad relationship, when we get tired, we just plain get irritable. Maybe you are having trouble sleeping through all this. If so, you should see a doctor and have them help you with your sleeping habits.

Next make sure you are eating appropriately. Fast food for breakfast, lunch and dinner just won't work. You know it, too, yet you sometimes have those crazy days where it seems the only thing available. Set aside time to cook a meal. Cook extra so you can heat it up for leftovers later. A well rounded diet of the fruits, vegetables, proteins and dairy will keep you feeling better and better about yourself.

Then, let's make sure you drink plenty of water to keep from getting dehydrated and down. Many people do not realize it, but dehydration can make you feel very tired and sluggish. You can actually live longer without food than you can water. Isn't that amazing?

And lastly, you must exercise in some form every day. Even if you just you park as far away from the store or your work and walk into it that will help. Try to find time to get about 20 minutes of some sort of physical exercise every day. This isn't too hard to do really. Many of us sit at a desk all day, so it may seem hard. Try to take two 10 minute breaks where you walk the whole 10 minutes each day. This is at a minimum. It is not ideal, but it will at least get you started.

If you will focus on these three things, you will see a huge change within a few days in your attitude towards your relationship. I know you have heard all this before, but you should focus on it to help move you forward. These are the preliminary steps to this

Have a great day and happy reading!

Do you realize that fear drives many relationships? There is the fear of committment, the fear of being alone, the fear that he/she will be mad at me, the fear of abandonment and loneliness. How many times have you reacted to your spouse in a way that wasn't necessarily what you wanted to say or do, but you did or said it because you didn't want to upset them or cause a fight?

I bet the answer to that question a lot! Many times you will naturally wish to avoid a fight so you do whatever you can to avoid that fight. Why do you do that? Fear. Relationship fears can paralyze us and keep us from growing in a relationship. The strange thing is that if you do that enough, you will in most likely end up with the thing you were most afraid of...being alone or lonely because you didn't speak up and deal the problem.

First reactions to problems are either "fight" or "flight". The minority of people will fight, most people will just walk away because they don't wish to deal with it. There are times when walking away will be the best approach at the moment, but you need to come back and calmly discuss the issue. If you do not, it will fester and turn into resentment. The resentments grow and you end up with your biggest fear, but by then, it won't be such a fear because you will be tired of the frustration and resentment and glad for the separation.

Don't let this happen to you. Discuss. Discuss. Discuss....men, you may not like that, but you must make yourself talk about it.

If in fact the relationship has eroded to the pain, resentment and frustration level, be sure to check out this eBook. It can save your relationship and help you on your journey back to peace and harmony in your relationship

There are some pretty crazy relationships out there. Have you found yourself in one? Are you trying to figure out if it is time to tell this relationship goodbye? Are you looking for an answer to how to deal with the relationship you are in? Do you really hate being alone so you put up with more than you should because of that?

You do NOT have to put up with the resentment and frustration anymore. There is hope. With this step by step approach to dealing with a bad relationship, you can change your relationship and start on a journey back to happiness, including some coping skills that will have you smiling in no time. I'll talk more about that later in this article.

Relationships are challenging because of the slow way they tend to erode. Sometimes it is so slow you don't even realize it is happening to you. In the beginning of a relationship of course there is plenty of hope, and even giddiness because you are so smitten with your boyfriend/girlfriend. That is such a fun part of a relationship, but it won't last for very long, then you come to the meat of the relationship where you have fallen in love and are very comfortable with each other. At this time there will be little irritabilities and "spats" you have with your mate that are small, and forgivable. Over time, these spats can grow into massive arguments.

Learning some relationship coping skills will help with this. Do you remember what your last big argument was about? Was it something totally off the wall that has you questioning your sanity? Think about where all that comes from. Was there something you feel like you should have said? Taking time to think through what happened, and writing down some of your thoughts will help you the next time you begin one of these arguments. Go back and read through your what you listed. This is a coping skill that will really get you to thinking and maybe stop the next argument or at least slow it down.

If you are married or living together and are now experiencing a deep and frustrating pain and resentment, don't despair. All is not lost. The first question to ask is "do I still love him/her?" If the answer is yes, then you have a fighting chance here. The next question is "am I afraid of being alone?" If that answer is also yes, you have more than a fighting chance. The final question is "do I want this relationship to work and to be happy again?" If that answer is "absolutely yes!", then I have the perfect solution for you.

Even the Goddess of Love and Beauty Aphrodite struggled with relationships. She was married to Hephaestus, the God of Technology and Craftsmanship, but she is notoriously linked to Adonis the god of vegetation whom she was the surrogate mother for and committed adultry with throughout his short life. The Greek Gods are thought of as myths, but my point here is that even stories from ancient Greece talk about relationship challenges. The story is not new, but it can be just as painful. The Greek Gods all have a colorful history and most are notorious for "sleeping around".

In our society today, we strive for perfection in our relationships. We struggle with animosity and judgements. How many times do we catch ourselves asking our wife or husband, "now WHY would you do that?" for whatever thing they had done. Think about that. Maybe your husband left all the cabinet doors open in the kitchen, or maybe they turned the TV show you were right in the middle of watching. Your first response is "why would you do that?" Then the fight ensues. There could be several reasons for thier rudeness. One could be they are mad at you and just want to "get your goat", but more than likely, they did not even realize they were doing it.

If this is the case, and they really didn't realize it, maybe a better response would be to talk to them kindly. Say, "excuse me, but did you realize I was right in the middle of watching this show?". Or, if they are leaving cabinet doors open, and of course you have company and they can see right into your cabinets, you might want to talk to them calmly about it. When we first jump to accusingly attacking with a rude "why would you do that?", we of course will get a snide remark back. Then the fight begins. The resentment build up, and the pain and frustration escalates. Is this really what you want? If you look at it honestly, they probably did not intend to upset you in the first place, so your response to thier rudeness is what drove the argument.

These are the types of actions and reactions that spouses will use to "justify" an affair or to justify their actions. They are mad at you for the way you acted, so they can blame you for the way they acted. Sorry. Doesn't fly. Being unfaithful or rude is not your fault. Don't take the blame for how they are acting. That's just one of the ways your partner uses to justify acting bad or being unfaithful when there is no justification. Aphrodite didn't justify her bad behavior, she just wanted Adonis. Being truthful about our actions and reactions is vital to overcoming these issues.

Sometimes taking a moment to look at intentions is a good way to curtail the argument and see a better response. relationshipcopingskills.blogspot.com

Do you find yourself being too serious most of time; never laughing or smiling and everything your spouse says to you makes you even madder? Is it causing you headaches or physical pain? Think about it. When is the last time you let out a good belly laugh? When did you and your boyfriend/girfriend last laugh together? Has it been a really long time? If so, it is time to do something about it. You can't go on like this. Its just too hard.

Let's try some exercises. Make a mental (physical) list of wome of the things you think are funny. Think about your favorite comedy TV show or the last time you went out with the "guys" or "girls" for some great conversation. What were you laughing about? Or your day at work. Are you starting to loosen up a little? Visualize some of these thoughts. Next, ask yourself what makes your spouse laugh? What do they think is funny? When was the last time you heard them laugh?

Next, I want you to make a plan that tonight when they get home from work you are going to do something to make them laugh. Maybe you meet them at the door wearing something silly, or maybe you take them to a comedy club for the evening. How about having some of your best and funniest friends over for a few drinks? Anything at all that is light and fun.

Last, you should assess the evening. Did it work? Do you need more nights like that? You can't just ignore the problems you are having, but you can take a break to enjoy yourself a little and lighten up. Just because your spouse did something to make you mad doesn't mean you should give into it. Try to find the humor in it instead if that's possible, but the most important thing is to laugh today, and laugh hard. Cut loose and enjoy. Sometimes when we force ourselves to face the hard stuff, it loosens us up, just a little, enough to take some pressure off.

Have a great day!

When love is fresh and new, we find ourselves very giddy with hope and promise, but as the days turn to months, and the months turn to years together those hopes can become shattered almost to the point of no repair. The one thing you have going for you is that you still love your partner. You love them very much and do not want to let them go.

Take those shattered dreams and build them a mausoleum. You don't need them anymore. What you need now is new dreams. New hopes. You need to define realistically what your marriage can look like if you work at it. It is important to write these down. I always go back to making a list, but don't just make a "shelf list"...one that collects dust on a shelf...but an active, doable list.

Once you have a new list of hopes and dreams for your relationship, do you know what you are going to do? You are going to post it on the refridgerator. That's right, you heard me. Get it posted out there. Get out the tape if you have a stainless steel fridge because it is vital the list is out in the open for everyone to see, even the guests that pop in, or the high school friends of your kids, or your family, and most importantly even your spouse!

This is proof positive that you are working on your relationship, and every time you head to the fridge to get something to eat, you are going to see that list. Now get busy. it is time to shed your burdens, stop facing the wall of destruction, and steer toward your future.

"When it seems that someone has shattered your dreams....pick up even the smallest of pieces and use them to build bigger and better dreams." Anonymous