Lessons from Dad -- Learned and Not Learned!
What did you learn from your dad and/or father figures?
I learned a lot from my dad, uncles, and male role models (but not as much as I COULD have). I will use this lens to honor them.
10 Things Dad Taught Me
(that I listened to)
- Always keep your car in working order.
- Take the time to set the table before you eat.
- 2 or 3 good friends are better than 20 phony ones.
- Never date a guy who won't meet your family.
- If you invite someone to your house, have food.
- Show up at family get-togethers, even if it's for a little while.
- Your mom may not always make sense, but respect her anyway--she's still your mom.
- Don't leave the sink full of dishes overnight.
- Always have your OWN money.
- Let your children know they are loved.
10 Things Dad Taught Me
(that I WISH I had listened to)
- You don't need more than 1 or 2 credit cards.
- A phone call should never take over 20 minutes.
- Always have carfare (or airfare) to get home.
- Don't change jobs just for more money.
- Check the expiration dates on your food items.
- You can't do everything at once.
- You will wear yourself out if you burn the candle at both ends.
- Worry never solves anything.
- When you cook, fix enough for more than 1 day.
- Take the time to read directions.
Do You Remember Me Dad?
When a Parent Has Alzheimers
It was funny...sometimes he'd ask me my name and I'd say: "It's me dad, Linnie!" and he'd usually reply... "I have a daughter named Linnie."
Alzheimers is a cruel disease, and my heart goes out to all affected by it. I hear it is increasing greatly as the baby boomers age.
I would advise anyone who is going through it to get help through a support group, or by talking to others with similar concerns.
How much of my dad was left after the disease completely ravaged his body? ALL OF HIM...we are more than our thoughts and our memories.
Memories of Dad
Chicken Spaghetti (first publsihed in 2003)
I am trying to pick my Dad's brain for his famous Chicken-Spaghetti recipe.
"Did you use tomato sauce, tomato paste, or both, Dad?"
He just smiles at me. He doesn't remember the recipe. He probably doesn't remember me.
Dad was a great cook and Chicken-Spaghetti was his signature dish. Unfortunately, I never took the time to ask him for the recipe, and now it may be too late. Dad is in the latter stages of Alzheimers, and doesn't remember much. However, I remember, and I'm haunted by memories of years gone by.
I look back on happy memories of family, friendships, and good times. It is a bittersweet journey, because so much has changed over the years. In some cases, all I'm left with are remembrances of people who were once a part of my life.
We think things will stay the same, but they don't. All we can do is enjoy the time that we have, and try to keep alive our family traditions. I may not have Dad's Chicken-Spaghetti recipe, but I do have his record and album collections. When I play them I don't even mind the scratches on the records. They remind me of the record players of my youth, when we'd pile on a stack of 45's and dance - Dad included.
Looking back, I now realize that the adults of my childhood faced a lot of the same issues that we face today - loss, grief, disappointment, stress, financial difficulties, health problems, you name it. But, no matter what was going on in the outside world, Dad always made me feel secure and loved.
I don't bother Dad about the recipe anymore. I'm just glad he's still here with me. I think back to my times in the kitchen with Dad, and I try to remember the way he used to do things, and the spices and ingredients he liked to use. Who knows? I might be able to make a decent Chicken-Spaghetti myself!
I still enjoy my time with him:
"Dad, we sure used to have some good times, didn't we?" I remind him.
He looks at me, and I see a flicker of recognition in his eyes.
"Yes we did," he says. "Yes we did."
Alzheimer's Disease Resources
If you would like more in-depth information the following should help.
Dementia Types
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Dad's Favorites on Amazon
I've included some bar-b-que items here. I like the football grill because dad was a big football fan (1970's Steelers).
I also included my books. Dad would be proud.
Weber Style 18700 Professional-Grade 3-Piece Stainless-Steel Tool Set
Amazon Price: $27.18 (as of 10/06/2008)
Charcoal Companion Hot Grills, The Football Grill
Amazon Price: $49.99 (as of 10/06/2008)
God on the Job: Salvation from the 9 to 5!
Amazon Price: $16.50 (as of 10/06/2008)
This Far By Faith : How To Put God First in Everyday Living
Amazon Price: (as of 10/06/2008)
Real Men Make Decisions
Unlce Will
My uncle was also a great listener. He was not threatened or intimidated by people with strong opinions - male or female. He taught me to speak my mind and never be afraid to, as he put it, "call a spade a spade."
If Uncle Will didn't like you, you knew it! He didn't believe in the behind-the-scenes character assassination and back-stabbing that is so prevalent today. Instead, he would look someone in the eye and tell them face-to-face what he thought about them.
He's been gone over twenty years and I still miss him. In today's world, there seems to be more concern with image, rather than substance. Every situation gets its own spin, and decisions aren't made for fear of hurting feelings.
Uncle Will wouldn't be happy with this. He knew that people prefer decision makers over those who back away from them, because even if you disagree with the decision, you can respect a person who stands up for their convictions.
There is something to be said for men who listen to the points of view of others, but make up their own minds. I know there are still some decision makers out there because I married one. Uncle Will never got the chance to meet him, but I believe he would have approved.
It Works!
Thoughts on another male role model....my 10th grade history teacher.
We envisioned class with a minister as teacher: every lesson would include a scripture reference; on Monday's in addition to taking roll, he would ask us if we went to church on the Sunday before; and heaven forbid we forget our homework! Well then he would probably stand at his perch in the front of the room and lament our moral shortcomings. We dreaded the semester.
Mr. Johnson was not what we expected. We covered a lot of subjects in class that semester, the Revolutionary War, the Constitution (including the separation of church and state), Slavery, and the Civil War. We found Mr. Johnson to be an engaging teacher, forcing us to consider all sides of the issues while keeping his own opinions to himself. "Surely this man can not be a Pastor?"
On the last day of class he let us have a no-holes barred discussion of the issues we had covered during the semester. Still, he didn't interject any of his personal feelings, acting instead as a moderator.
Finally, we asked him the question that had been on our minds all semester.
"Is it true you are a minister?" we asked.
"Yes, I am," he replied.
We then gave him what we considered a compliment: "But you don't act like a minister!" we told him.
He smiled.
Feeling emboldened, we asked him a question none of us would ever dare to ask our own minister, or our Sunday School teachers, or even our parents - "Why?" we asked. "Why do you believe?"
"Well," he said, after pondering the question for a few moments, "I tried a lot of things in my life as a young man, and then I was introduced to Jesus. I guess the only thing I can tell you about Christianity is that it works."
At first I was taken aback by the brevity of his response. It Works? No dissertation on religion. No invitation to come to his church. No Sermon! Here was his chance to reel us in and that's all he could come up with? What kind of Pastor was this?
But, over the years I have come to appreciate the simplicity of it all. Those two words really do sum it up. And, while I may have forgotten much of what I learned during my high school years, I can honestly say I've never forgotten those two words. Like Mr. Johnson, I learned that when all else fails - It Works
Vote on your favorite dad from various categories!
Or suggest new ones!
- Favorite Dads From.....
- Vote on your favorite fathers from TV, Movies, and Politics....or add your own!
Comments? Can you relate to any of the above?
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ChouDoufu
A welcome addition to Dads of Squidoo. A "lessons learned from dad" would made a great Plexo where everyone can submit their lessons learned and vote on those submitted by others. Just a thought. Posted June 18, 2007 |
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ChouDoufu
A welcome addition to Dads of Squidoo. A "lessons learned from dad" would made a great Plexo where everyone can submit their lessons learned and vote on those submitted by others. Just a thought. Posted June 18, 2007 |
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rms
Really nice tribute! 5 stars! Posted June 07, 2007 |
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KimberlyDawnWells
Beautiful lens! Thanks so much for sharing your stories with us. Posted June 07, 2007 |
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jasmineann
Really lovely lens i especially like the "Ten things..." 5 Stars! for you and Dad. Beautiful times and great advice live within us forever... Posted June 07, 2007 |
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Edmands
I enjoyed reading your lens which reminded me to take the time to remember the father figures who taught me so much. Posted June 06, 2007 |
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flaminglacer
What a wonderful man your Dad is to have raised a daughter like you... Posted June 06, 2007 |
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Horseangel
This is a really lovely lens, your Dad would be so touched by what you've done here, I am sure! Posted June 06, 2007 |
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Crystal_Booth
Beautiful! I love it. 5 stars from me. The lessons from dad are great. I have similar from mine dad. Also, some great gift ideas. Thanks so much for sharing this. ~ Crystal Posted June 06, 2007 |
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Waterwalker_Publishing
What a beautiful way to honor your Dad. Blessings :-) Posted June 06, 2007 |
Hawaiian Shirts
Great Deals on Ebay
Dad LOVED Hawaiian shirts...he had a closet full! (This was before the Tommy Bahama shirts became popular.) I admit...I was embarrassed many times...but, I never told him :)
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My Other Lenses
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God on the Job
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For many years I felt alone, and forsaken, in the workplace. The feeling of dread would start coming over me on Sunday afternoons. I would try to put it out of my head, but always the thought was there: “I have to get up tomorrow morning,...
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Boomer Women for Obama
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Favorite Dads From.....
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Vote on your favorite dads, or add your own. Let's add categories also...coming soon: Favorite Dads From: Rock, Rap, Pop, Country, Soul, Favorite Dads From: Politics, National News, Radio Favorite Dads From: Baseball, Football, Nascar, ...
Pittsburgh Steelers Stuff on eBay
Dad's Team
Dad loved the Steelers! He wasn't from Pittsburgh...he was born in Louisville, Kentucky...but, he was a big Pittsburgh fan. Don't know if her ever got to a game....
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