Get a Round Tuit

Tuits come in a variety of sizes, colors and shapes.

Square Tuits - These tuits get a bad rap, and deservedly so. You can't accomplish much with a square tuit. Square tuits are identified by their 4 sides, and the word "tuit" stamped, burned, screened, painted, printed or otherwise attached to its face. Getting a square tuit is essentially meaningless and worthless.

Blue Tuits - Effectively any color despite its name, and made of solid wood, plastic or other inert material, these "devices" are designed to look like those little things you stick in your ear to allow you to make phone calls. DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THESE. Blue Tuits will not allow you to make phone calls. They can be distinguished by the words Blue Tuit on the side and the lack of signal strength or phone connectivity.

Round Tuits - These are the real deal. Getting a round tuit means finally being able to do all those things you've been putting off. To get a round tuit signals the end of any periods of procrastination, doubt or laziness. Round tuits can be identified by their lack of sharp edges and are stamped or otherwise marked with the word "tuit". Round tuits may be of any size, but should be light enough to carry and small enough to fit in a pocket for easy storage. Keychains are great for this. Extremely large or heavy round tuits cannot be carried, thus permitting excuses due to proximity, and very small or flimsy round tuits can be lost, swallowed, destroyed or otherwise made ineffective, thus canceling the effects of any gumption or stick-to-it-iveness.

Hop Tuits - A close cousin to Round Tuits, Hop Tuits can be any shape, size or color but are characterized by their ability to start fires, make loud noises and/or otherwise jar the procrastinator into action. Typical Hop Tuits are big sticks, firearms or virtually anything else that make people move faster when presented. Hop Tuits are activated not by giving them to the user, but by brandishing them at the target and activating them by shouting "Hop Tuit!". This usually makes the target do just that, erasing any laziness or procrastination.

Round Tuits are generally more popular for personal use because they require no damage, no explosions and no yelling.

Stick Tuits - Craftily shaped like ordinary sticks with the word "tuit" stamped or otherwise affixed to the side, these tuits are useful once you have gotten a Round Tuit. Stick Tuits allow one to continue doing what they are doing once a Round Tuit has been acquired.

Many people make the mistake of getting a Round Tuit, but then fail to Stick Tuit.

"Well, I see you got a Round Tuit, Bob."
"Yeah, and now I just gotta Stick Tuit, Pete."
"Hey, good for you!"

Note: Round Tuits should not be confused with Moovons. Moovons are small sub-molecular particles that fly through the air and accumulate over time on people. The toleration by the general populace is unknown, but as time goes on, everyone eventually collects enough moovons to force them to relocate to a new place. Moovons apparently accumulate faster during times of stress, embarrassment, intoxication, exhaustion and fear.

People will often be heard saying "I better get a moovon!" to indicate that they are near saturation, followed by quick relocation. Although moovons can force people to change locations, they can't really force anyone to do anything, thus the superiority of Round Tuits.

Moovons are too small to see, but collect naturally throughout the day.