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Running Wild Tabloid

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Ranked #2,124 in Books, Poetry & Writing, #87,603 overall

A Parker (the Rabbit) Industries Ltd Publication

A Letter From Your Editor.

I am Parker the rabbit, publisher and editor of Running Wild. I am so thrilled to bring you the first edition of my new rag which will aim at finding the best stories of animal sensationalism. This is a new venture for Parker Industries Ltd. I have visited San Simian and I see this newspaper as a chance for me to follow in the footsteps of Hearst. Lucia, the Rabbit (whom you might have met already on the heart-beats Lens), is going to be my gracious Marion Davies. Of course, a publication like ours will keep track of animal events in outer space.

I will introduce my reporter and colleague to you, the Squid Reporter, who is the perfect fellow to squeeze out the stories. He holds a Black Belt. You might wish to read his comprehensive interview of me which was held at the Parker Industries Physical Fitness Facility. I am also very proud about my nephew in the auto business who happens to be one of our advertisers.

Our latest story with which we greet the New Year of 2012 is about the Hysteric Border Crossing of the Lone Wolf from Oregon into the State of California. His name is "OR7".

Be sure to catch our crime story video about the Cat Burglar of San Mateo. He has set up shop in a pretty ritzy area (I verified this by I checking the per capita income and net worth and all the gutsy econometrics of the humans there.) I don't understand why he is stealing musty underwear and used bathing suits when he has the riches of the Silicon Valley in his very paws. But some criminals don't make sense, do they?

Second Edition

We are proud to release the Second Edition of Running Wild Tabloid for Spring of 2012.
Just keep scrolling.
There are new scoops about a Kit Fox foreclosure; Kitty Knee surgery; a Virgin Airlines airlift and more.
Do see a full color picture of the Publisher of Running Wild Tabloid.

YouTube - Cat Burglar on the Loose in San Mateo

Klepto Kitty the Cat Burglar: by FrownsUpsideDown | video info

2,973 ratings | 1,079,726 views

curated content from YouTube

Second Edition
YouTube - Cat Burglar on the Loose in San Mateo
Lake Shasta Welcomes new resident
Features of Animal Havoc and Notoriety
TRAVEL SECTION
The Squid Reporter Bio
Amazon
Amazon - Mr Parker's Arts and Entertainment Section
Running Wild Film Review Section

See Story under New Features. This bird needs to learn how to be an eagle.

Features of Animal Havoc and Notoriety

Bald Eagle Forceably Deported by Authorities
A Channel Island Eagle visited with the other eagles at the Santa Barbara zoo. He showed way too much interest in the rabbits,cranes,hornbills,otters,meerkats,and swans. Several government agencies were involved in getting permission to trap the lurking eagle and transport it way north into the Shasta area. Until this was done, an employee had to guard the flamingoes with a garden hose.
Kangaroo Forces Police to Use Pepper Spray.
A 94 year old woman was hanging her laundry and minding her own business when she was attacked by a kangaroo.
She had to fight back with a broom and with the help of a family dog crawled back to safety.
Reggie is Hooking Up with Kate
One time feral alligator Reggie is now sharing quarters at the Los Angeles Zoo with Cajun Kate. If you recall, two men dumped Reggie into Lake Machado when he became too big to care for. Reggie alluded capture.
Homosexual Penguins
Same Sex Companions Buddy and Pedro are going to be separated at the Toronto zoo. Two male penguins back in 2009 in Bremerhaven zoo became the proud parents of a chick fertilized by another couple.

Male Rabbit Detained by Authorities
A male rabbit enjoyed his visits with his female girlfriends inside the old wordworking shop at Long Beach City College. He was captured as part of a roundup of the rabbit students whose population at one time exceeded 300 rabbits on the loose. According to our campus sources (and this was corroborated by the Los Angeles Times),Houdini,a large male,outwitted the humans who endeavored to trap him... for three months. He "ducked and dodged" but the roll-up doors were pulled down and he was trapped at last! May they find him an appropriate adoption.
Cat Trust Fund Hit by Recent Fall in Stock Market
Top cat Tinker inherited a $700,000 estate from a widow. He has lived in a house valued at $560,000. We hope he got out to spend some of it!
What You Might find interesting if you are heading to Berlin
There are 2.5 million wild boars in Germany. Quite a few of these are radioactive. And sometimes they crash around causing accidents. The ones living in the forest eating mushrooms and truffles have more cesium in them from fallout from a nuclear power plant accident. And you thought that pigs were boring!
The Buzz on the University of California,Irvine,campus
I was moving about over at Aldrich Park on the UCI campus and there was much excitement over a birth announcement. Over at the Zoo at Prentice Park in nearby Santa Ana, there is a new baby giant Anteater (or is it a giant baby Anteater). The proud parents are father,Peter, and mother,Heesoo of Troy. The baby will ride on its mother's back for ten months.
Airport Incident
A 13 year old guide dog strip searched at the airport terminal. PETA is considering filing a lawsuit.

TRAVEL SECTION

Animal Spacemen

ABLE WAS I ERE I SAW ELBA

I inquired how much a ticket is aboard one of the new Virgin Atlantic space planes. Upwards of 200,000 pounds I am told. Now, animals actually preceded humans into space. Did you know that? And they got a free ride. A rhesus monkey named "Able" was one of the first astronauts.

Travel Advisory
When traveling in Alaska, be aware that it is illegal to push a moose out of a moving aircraft.

Golden State Advisory
Biologists announce that a lone gray male wolf with a radio collar has crossed the Oregon border into California, the first wolf at large in California since 1924. It is not known if he wishes to stay in California or if he will return north to reunite with 24 other wolves. He started out from Crater Lake in a circuitous trip of over 800 miles.

RABBIT FROM OUTER SPACE?
Is it terrestrial in origin?

☆☆☆

Tell your friends that you heard it here first in Running Wild.
A giant rabbit has landed on the town square of Orebro Sweden. Now I know for a fact that space debris can be a problem if it isn't properly deorbited. There are international treaties about debris descending back to earth and Space Command in Colorado watches these objects out there. I don't know about you, but I think that the sudden appearance of a fourty eight foot rabbit is highly abnormal. Perhaps this is just the innocent work of an artist, one in particular named Florentijn Hofman.

The Squid Reporter Bio

....and his sources

Picture is courtesy of Squidoo Graphics

Following a career on Wall Street, our reporter trained in muay thai and has done exhibition cage fighting. Whenever he appeared in the arena, he used the sound track 'Lift Your Skinny Fists LIke Antennas to Heaven' as his audio theme. This added a surreal element to the arena events.

Right now, his professional goal is to become a syndicated journalist and become respected as the Papparazi to the Animal Stars. (This would mean that no one would dare tell Calimari jokes when he shows up on the scene.) He resides in the Pacific Ocean next to Long Beach and enjoyed doing the story at Long Beach City College as he considers Long Beach to be his hometown. He is greatful for Parker Industries Ltd for putting a squid on the payroll as it shows true affirmative action regarding diverse species. He enjoys interviewing smaller animals. You can catch his interview at the Parker Industries Ltd Employee Fitness Center.

The squid's favorite story in our first issue was about the Monkeys in outer space. He visited the gravesites in Alabama where bananas had been left in tribute to these first explorers.

News sources:

eagle story
rabbit bachelor story
kangaroo story
Richest Cat
radioactive pig story,NPR
anteater couple in Santa Ana
Monkeys in Space Not Forgotten
Interference with Penguins
Wolf crosses Oregon border into California
Virgin transports Chihauhaus
Cyrano's knee replacement
Save Dodger a seat on the bus

Amazon

Hi. It's Parker. These are my recommended products from the Amazon.

I do not share the opinion of the click-advertisers which may appear on this Lens. You may see many Pest Eradicator companies who do not like the business of squirrels,raccoons,gophers,rabbits,and other small mammals. (These critters are 'My People'.) These businesses even use gas and traps. I do not endorse those kinds of enterprises in the ads by the google. These enterprises are not from the Amazon.

Amazon - Mr Parker's Arts and Entertainment Section

Comments from your publisher....

People have asked about my eye color and the answer is that they are 'brown', but this is close enough to 'amber', IMHO.
I would like to recommend this popular non-fiction paperback that some people are reading.
It is a story about small Japanese things, in this case a netsuke. The author happens to be a curator at the Victoria and Albert Museum.

Running Wild Film Review Section

See FIERCE CREATURES

John Clease,Jamie Lee Curtis, and Kevin Kline are in this movie. A tycoon takes over a zoo and intends to increase the profits by getting rid of all of the animals who are not ferocious.

In Coming Issues

We hope to have an Investigative Report on the lowdown about the Kitty Cafes of Osaka. Mr. Parker must first solve his staffing problems. Unfortunately,Japan is too inaccessible for the squid reporter. It is too much to expect him to swim that far.

RUNNING WILD Advertiser Supplement

If you are passing through Southern California, be sure to have your dog take you to lunch at the Lazy Dog Cafe. There are nine locations.

Link section Parker's Riddles

Answers to Parker's Questions about animals are a link away

Watch out!: Who is the Biggest Badass in the Animal Kingdom?
How can you stand up for animal rights?: Sign a petition to help Buddy and Pedro, the penguins at the Toronto Zoo with a loving relationship,stay together. There are already 431 signatures.
What are the Hopits of Highly Successful Rabbits?: Be part of an audience of Parker's Power Point slides. He is an esteemed motivational speaker who discusses Real Estate and the Bad Economy.

Capture your own penguin for the house

Amazon

Let us know what you pick out for a name of your new penguin. If you have trouble selecting a name, Parker will help you on
the naming of the animals. He is partial to hotel names.

Second Edition of Running Wild on New Year's Day

I always thought they could do Algebra

SCIENCE Editorial
--------------------------

Hi! It's Parker.

(I hope you appreciate the official photograph of me as Publisher of Running Times.)
I am so thrilled that I stumbled upon a study from the University of Otago. I always thought that birds were mathematically as smart as monkeys and now the evidence is out!

Pigeons were trained seven days a week for a year to pick out sets of objects in the sequence one-two-three with different shapes and sizes of objects. They were even able to extend this knowledge to higher numbers: four,five,and six.

There's nothing wrong with bird brain organization, in my opinion! Trust me! I am no Dumb Bunny when it comes to "Science".

The Airlift
I'd like to recognize the human world for helping my fellow critters. A recent act of charity is the transport by Virgin Atlantic from San Francisco to New York of 200 homeless Chihauhaus. The airline coordinated with animal shelters, and now the dogs are enjoying their new families.

Recovery on the Way
I would encourage everyone to send 'Get Well' greetings to Mr. Cyrano L. Catte II of Upperville,Virginia. He is a feline recovering from total knee replacement surgery on a cancer weakened leg. His implant is made of plastic and chromium. The cat's owner says the "Rat Boy" is worth every penny.

Problem Puss
I have just found out (and nothing escapes my attention) that there is an Unpaid Fare Problem in Britain. Dodger the cat gets on and off the bus himself and is taking ten mile rides to Charmouth in Dorset. The owners happen to live near a bus station. He likes to sit on the warm seats when he takes his naps.

This just In!
My friend, Herman the kit fox, informs me that somebody has sprinkled coyote urine around his residence. He sends me his picture with love and wonders where he can 'rent' a place until the parabola mirrors blow over.
My sources inform me that the fox community in Bakersfield is doing well. Foxy has discovered that if he shows up at an ice cream plant every night, he is provided with a chocolate-coated treat by the guard. His cousin greets a pilot every night who lands at the local airport. Many homes bordering golf courses offer eggs and hot dogs to foxes who are dropping by.