Who is Ruthi

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I Am From...

I am from high hills and low valleys, born and bred unto poverty and pain.

I am from the rural farmhouse rentals that changed every few months for never ending years.

I am from the barren alfalfa fields, the cornfields bittersweet.

I am from the Cox Tree Service woodsmen and from men and women who played as hard as they worked.

From Stanley Cox and Anna Kinsler - Anna Mae Cox was born - my mother whom I proudly claim.

I am from the addictions of drugs, sex, and alcohol and from domestic violence and abuse of all too many forms.

From cold dark secrets and hot blooded heathens.

I am from the baptism of Lutheran religion, a grandma who worshipped Jehovah, and an array of childhood non-denominational church attendances - all of which seemed to me, in my youth, to be practicing hypocracies.

I am from the hidden hills of Sugar Grove, Ohio, where a pot of beans and home grown tomatoes fed an aching belly.

From the unwed mother, the unknown father, and the abusive stepfathers I have been born and bred.

I am from God and from the grand old U S of A, and since I am now no longer from my past...

I am at present a woman with a unique soul, with the God given right and the freedom to determine my future.

I am woman and I will do more than survive...

I will thrive!

I Am -- O' So Many Names and Things

I Am Ruthi

My Favorite Tune

Ain't Givin' Up Now, by Reba Rambo McGuire, has long been my favorite song; it really sings to my spirit. EnJOY...

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100 + 1 Things About Me

My name is Ruthi, aka Sunshine aka abitosunshine aka Ruth Cox.

My son Billy, aka William, has been the sunshine o' my heart since before he was born.

My dogs, Momma Tidbit & her daughter Scratch, are the sunshine o' my life.

I've lived in 9 states, some more than once, in the followin' order...
Ohio
Maryland
Ohio
West Virginia
Ohio
Florida
Georgia
North Carolina
Kentucky
Pennsylvania
Kentucky
Florida
Pennsylvania
Ohio
Georgia
New Mexico
(Perhaps for the last time, I've come full circle to the land o' my birth - Ohio)

Family have always been the most important persons in my life.

Family - by choice - have become the most important persons in my life.

I am a Christian.

I believe that with God all things are possible.

I believe that I shall one day reside in Heaven.

My favorite Bible verse is Romans 13:12.
(this changes periodically)

Sunshine is the most JOYous thing nature has to offer me.
(warms my spirit through & through)

I love to mow the lawn - get lost in fresh air & sunshine!

I love plants & flowers, but do NOT have a green thumb.

My favorite flower is the sunflower.
(black-eyed susans & daisies run 2nd & 3rd)

My favorite houseplant is a "prayer plant."

My favorite tree is the sycamore.

My favorite animal is the black wolf.
(the white bengal tiger is a close 2nd)

I believe a dog is a woman's best friend.
(and would never wanna be without one)

My favorite bird is the dove - dove coos are love coos!

I love animals & would have 2 of each if I could.

I enJOY good food, but don't neccessarily like to cook.

I love BBQ's - good fun, good food, good friends!

My favorite food is seafood.

My favorite ice cream is french vanilla.

My favorite dessert is strawberry shortcake.

My favorite drinks are black coffee, pepsi, and Bud Ice.

I love steak & eggs or pork chops & eggs for dinner.

Love my eggs sunny side up, of course!

I love cotton candy & candied apples at the fair.

I don't like champagne, but love asti spumonte & love mimosas!

I love takin' long walks on the beach...soothes the soul.
(a river, stream or lake works if the sea is far away)

I love shootin' pool & I'm pretty good at it too!

I love to read, tho' failin' eyesight makes it difficult to do these days.
(besides that, the computer takes up most o' my spare time)

My computer is my window to my world - spreadin a bit o' sunshine!

I write poetry...a talent I consider a gift from God.

I dream o' bein' a published poet one day.
(now a 2012 goal!)

I love ridin' motorcycles, especially Harleys driven by nice fellas!
(no helmet for this gal - want the wind in my hair)

Country music is my favorite, tho I also like rock & roll, R & B, jazz, folk & gospel.
(no rap & no hard rock, please)

I do not like loud music - I like background music.

I do NOT sing karaoke.

I do not know who my father is & imagine that I never will.

My mother, Anna Mae Cox, died at age 40 - death by an act of domestic violence.

As a child, I suffered physical, emotional & sexual abuse.

As an adult I have suffered physical, emotional & sexual abuse.

I have 3 half-sisters, 3 half-brothers, all younger than me (2 deceased, cancer) & 2 older step-brothers.

I have virtually no contact with my siblings.
(only if I initiate the contact and I gave that up)
Update: I am now in occasional contact with my brother, Randy.

I live within 5 minutes to an hour of 2 aunts, 1 uncle & many cousins & have little contact with them.
(again, generally only if I initiate the contact)
Update: I see my Aunt Martha Bell often these days!
Update: My Aunt Martha Bell passed away, sad to say.

My son is strugglin' with heroin addiction, but he's alive & fightin' it, praise God!
2012 Update: 2 years straight and sober. Again, Praise God!

I've been married 3 times & the 3rd time's the charm - enough is enough!

I'm actually still legally married to my ex - can't seem to afford the divorce.
(praise God he finally quit contacting me - our marriage was UGLY)

I'd love to be a Gramma!
Update: I became a Grandma on October 19, 2010!

I'd love to quit livin' payday to payday.

I hope to realize some o' my dreams before I leave this earth.

I believe in the idea o' love, but also believe that love is only for as long as it lasts.

I believe in angels, heavenly AND earthly.

I believe that true friends, true loves will always find their way back to each other.

I still believe there is more good than evil in life.

I still believe that one day my white knight will rescue me.

I know that I am loved by many.
(some just have a funny way o' showin' it)

I belive the human spirit is strong, but also believe it can be broken.

My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving - I've always so much to be thankful for.
(besides which, it's not been commercialized like the others)

Mother's Day generally depresses me.

Valentine's Day generally depresses me.

I do NOT give Christmas gifts - I give o' myself & feel others should also.
(and that can & should be done year 'round)

I'm a fan o' football - pro, not college - but have to say, GO BUCKS!
(tho it was much better back in the 70's & 80's)

I used to play tennis for fun & still like watchin' it.

I used to run road races - stress fractured my foot & haven't run since.

I'm not very athletically inclined, but do like bein' a sport spectator.

I'm overweight & don't like it much but don't seem to do anything about it.

I'm a smoker & wish I weren't but can't seem to quit - one day I will!

I have owned/operated 3 businesses, lost all with marriages!
(1st hubby & I owned a commercial office cleaning business for 13 years.
I owned a daycare center for 4 years - loved it!
2nd hubby & I owned a pool room for 4 years - loved it!)

I have an A.S. Degree in Early Childhood Education.
(1st hubby wouldn't let me quit work to do my final year for my B.A. - that's BS!)

I have low self esteem & self worth issues, but I'm workin' on them.

I've lived in fear o' somethin' or someone more days o' my life than not.

I can eventually forgive anything, but I never forget anything.

Usually when I close a door on someone or something, I rarely re-open it.

I enJOY bein' alone, I hate bein' lonely.

I don't like large crowds & parties, I prefer a small gatherin' o' friends & family.

I don't like a lot o' company, home is my place to hide from the world.

If patience is a virtue, I'm not a virtuous woman!
(Yes, I wear it on a tee.)


Patience is a Virtue shirt
Patience is a Virtue by abitosunshine
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My favorite books are the Bible and "Women Who Run with the Wolves."
(I've been re-readin' both o' these for years)

I love photos & scrapbookin', tho I don't do it much anymore.

I taught myself to knit, crochet, tat, & can do all types of needlework.
(tho I don't do these much anymore either)

I taught my son to do all o' the above & I bet he doesn't do them anymore either!

I love a live Christmas tree adorned with hundreds o' twinklin' lights
and covered by ornaments I made myself - again, haven't done this in awhile.

I love walkin' my dogs in the country, lettin' them run free in open fields.
(we mostly settle for walks in the neighborhood & they have a huge yard)

My favorite song is "Ain't Givin' Up Now" by Reba Rambo McGuire.
(this changes frequently)

I've had 1 broken bone, rolled myself up in a car window at age 2 & broke my collarbone.
(at least that's the way the tale was told to me and the authorities)

I'm an insomniac, always have been, even as a child.

I'm a perfectly balanced Libra!

I do not think positively, nor do I think negatively.
I think, and live, in terms o' my reality.

I'm feelin' too old & too tired to care about much these past couple o' years.
(workin' on this too)

I've paid a high price for ev'ry grey hair on my head!
(so no, I'll not color it away)

I've earned ev'ry wrinkle on my body, each a reminder o' life's battles!
(so no lifts or lipo for me)

I've loved & lost but am sure I'll love again.
(some lessons we just never learn)

I'm a romantic.

I believe that any relationship must have 3 things - trust, respect, and love.
(I believe a relationship will work without love, but not without trust nor respect)

I believe in the Golden Rule & believe if everyone did, the world would be a much better place for all.

The internet, my friends & family here, have truly been my lifeline for many years.
I thank God for my computer connection & for each of you that have come into my life through my monitor window.

This list was a whole lot o' work so I hope you leave a comment!

What did you learn about Ruthi thus far?

I Am...

I am Mom and Sis

17 Words that will Never Fail You

When I read the list of words, I realized that they apply to everyone. I have listed my responses to the words here. What would your responses be to these words?

The 17 words are:

PREPARE for all that comes back at you through Karma.
CARE for those who seem to have no one to care for them at all.
BELIEVE in the miracle of Love.
FORGIVE those who have hurt you and you shall no longer feel the pain.
CHANGE is a wave we ride through the storms and right on into the clear waters.
RISK is taking a leap o' faith.
CHOOSE to love and to be loved - just the way that you are.
RELAX in the setting o' the sun as you dare to dream o' the rising o' the next day's sun.
LISTEN to the song your heart sings.
PRAY for guidance in all that you think you must do.
PERSIST in making your dreams come true.
SMILE for others, they may need it more than you do.
FOCUS upon the moment at hand.
ACT upon the visions in your head in order for them to be fed.
TRUST in your God when you can not trust in your self.
ACCEPT that not everyone whom you love will love you in return.
WAIT not for your day o' reckoning ... plan for it!

Quick, what do you think of Ruthi?

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What's in a Name?

Ruthi - what's in a name?

Great Books about Names from Amazon

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ruth: the word, not the name

Inspired by and dedicated to my friend Chris...

of god and ruth


ruth:
noun
1.Compassion or pity for another.
2.Sorrow or misery about one's own misdeeds or flaws.
Origin: Middle English ruthe, from Old Norse hrygdh (influenced by Old English hreow, sorrow, regret).

Sunshine Blessings

I love spreadin' nuttin' but sunshine into the lives of others; and, here's a bit o' sunshine shared with you...
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Palm Pose

Than-Bauk self-portrait poem (2009)

Palm Pose

From the camera in the palm of my hand, showing off my palm tree shower curtain. I have palm tree items throughout the house - can you tell I miss living in the Florida sunshine? I spent 20+ years in south Florida, as well as lived in Daytona Beach for about 2 years.

Than-Bauk poetry form is a bit shorter than Haiku and more structured. According to The Poetry Knowledge Zone - "A Than-Bauk, conventionally a witty saying or epigram, is a three line "climbing rhyme" poem of Burmese origin. Each line has four syllables. The rhyme is on the fourth syllable of the first line, the third syllable of the second line, and the second syllable of the third line."

I was introduced to the Than-Bauk poetry form at Gather.com, by the masterful poet, Susan Budig. For more information on Susan Budig, the Mindful Poet, you can visit my Unfurled Poetry lens here at Squidoo.

a Rose and a Baby Ruth

by George Hamilton

Thanks to Squidoo Lensmaster, Poutine, and her Girls Names In Songs for encouraging me to search for "Ruth" tunes. As I find them, I'll share them with you.

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Baby Ruth Love

Love the Baby Ruth candy bars and would love this pillow, which would ensure delicious dreams, especially if accompanied by George Hamilton singing and snacking and sharing the pillow with me!

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Countdown to The Birth of Sunshine

The Birth of Sunshine: October 10, 2012
Happy Birthday to Me

To and From my Self 2011 

And I Am...

Poetic Creations by abitosunshine!

You can learn more about my poetic creations by visiting my Squidoo lens, Poetic Creations by abitosunshine, where you'll learn all about Orange Sunshine, online and offline.

And, here are a few of my personal creations from my shop at Cafepress that share a bit o' my spirit.
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Ruthi is a Book Lover

Ruthi Reads!I love to read and I love to write, with the world of rhyme my favorite place to spend my time. You can now keep track of my reading material on my newly created (February 2011):
Ruthi Reads Lensography

Still the #1 Book on my Reading List

Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

Amazon Price: $5.81 (as of 06/04/2012)Buy Now
List Price: $27.95

If you have not read this book, then get yourself a copy. You will not be disappointed! I own the hardcopy myself, but it is available in softcover, too.

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The Book of Ruth

The Book of Ruth (Oprah's Book Club)

Amazon Price: $1.45 (as of 06/04/2012)Buy Now

I've only recently discovered this book title by author Jane Hamilton and, of course, added it to my To Be Read list. Today I plan to purchase myself a copy. I will, of course, be writing a book review upon finishing the reading of this publication.

Release Date: 12/01/1989

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Have you Read these Books?

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A Few Pics to View

Motherhood

Why am I Pro-Life?

I've known only moments of happiness here and there throughout my life. Mathmatically, I'd say 15 years out of the nearly 60 I've lived have been years of happiness; that's only one quarter of my life. But let me say this ... Each tidbit of happiness casts a ray of sunshine over the cloudy years, casting them into the shadows. I wouldn't trade one quarter of my unhappiness away to have not lived at all.

So, Mom, from your somewhere over the rainbow, I hope you know how much I mean it when I say ... Thank you, Mom. Thank you for choosing life for me when it surely would have been easier for you not to have done so. And, as your brother, and my uncle, Billy would say, "At the time, she did the best she could do with what she had and knew."

I pray one day my son will say same to me. Yes, as an unwed teen pregnancy statistic -- I chose life for him, too. And, I've never regretted this bundle-of-boy-joy decision for a moment.



NOTE: I've added this to my SquidWho is Ruthi lens immediately upon visiting Squidoo Lensmaster JoanneOtt's lens, featured below.

I Stand with Joanne

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A Perfect Day?

©Ruth Cox

A Perfect Day


A perfect day once came my way; dusk became dawn, the dark withdrawn.

In between the light and the dark are moments of perfection, twinklings of time to be etched into memory, remembered as the perfect day, forevermore.

I remember the dawn of a perfect day -- January of 1972, I gave birth to my son -- a moment of perfection. Enraptured by this gift of life, birthed by me, a feeling of agelessness swept over my spirit. In a not-so-perfect moment, the teenage and single motherhood worries would take over -- but only in the dark of night.

I remember the sunup of a perfect day -- a few days before Thanksgiving 1975, on the telephone with my Mother -- a moment of perfection. Enthralled by Mom's delight in my wanting her peach pie recipe, time seemed to stand still. In another not-so-perfect moment, I would grieve never hearing her voice again, as domestic violence would take her away on December 1st -- but only in the dark of night.

I remember the rise of a perfect day -- Cox Family Reunion 1999 -- a moment of perfection. Enamoured by a wellspring of joy in this reuniting of family lost twenty-four years before, believing that love heals all wounds. In another not-so-perfect moment, I would come to believe that love is only for as long as it lasts -- but only in the dark of night.

I remember the light of a perfect day -- Tidbit, a five-week old pup placed in my arms, July 2, 2000 -- a moment of perfection. Held spellbound by her baby blue eyes of gratitude, for her life had just been saved. In another not-so-perfect moment, I would worry about the vet's diagnosis of "parvo pup" and all that would entail -- but only in the dark of night.

In between the light and the dark are moments of perfection, ripples of time woven into a tapestry of life, remembered as the perfect day, forevermore.

The light now yawns, sky curtains drawn; in ev'ry way A Perfect Day!

And I Am but a Ripple in the River of Life...

Ruthi Ripple

Agatha Christie:

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. "

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Thumbs Up for Sunshine!

I thank you!

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Squidoo Angel Blessings

I thank thee!

There are angels in our midst here at Squidoo!
They visit our lenses and bless them, too!



This lens has been Blessed by the following Squidoo Angels:
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1st Purple Star

Purple Star awarded 04/01/2011 

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My Wish For You...

  • anaisfraiche May 29, 2012 @ 1:30 am | delete
    "...all of which seemed to me, in my youth, to be practicing hypocracies." Spot on. I used to think the same too and it's true, many are hypocrites, myself included. But that was my view till about 7 years ago. It's different now. Thank you for sharing this lens.
  • Millionairemomma May 17, 2012 @ 12:53 am | delete
    Thank you for baring your soul.
  • Ladymermaid May 13, 2012 @ 9:58 am | delete
    A happy mother's day wish for you Ruthie. Hope your day is absolutely positively fantastic. I am going to get my tushie out of this chair today and go work in the garden.
  • favored1 Apr 23, 2012 @ 12:46 pm | delete
    If I could I'd give you a hug from one Sunshine girl to another. Haven't heard Reba sing in years. I used to go to her concerts when she sang with her parents. That was when I was a young girl.
  • Pastiche Apr 7, 2012 @ 9:58 am | delete
    My goodness Ruthi you've lived more in one lifetime than several individuals, and you're not nearly finished yet. I enjoyed reading your poetic profile, and learning about Than-Bauk poetry, and also viewing your photos, reading about your Mother and all that is what makes you who you are. Blessings to you my dear ... and keep sharing your Sunshine.
  • LittleLindaPinda Apr 1, 2012 @ 7:32 pm | delete
    Wonderful to get to know you. You have been through so much and came out shining with the Lord.
  • Annamadagan Mar 31, 2012 @ 5:36 pm | delete
    Thanks for sharing!
  • goo2eyes Mar 26, 2012 @ 3:27 pm | delete
    ruthi, it is nice to meet you. you are not just a bit of sunshine but the sun itself shining thru the cloudy skies. blessings from an angel.
  • TheLifestyleChanger Mar 26, 2012 @ 6:08 am | delete
    Blessings to you Ruthi.
  • siobhanryan Mar 23, 2012 @ 7:09 pm | delete
    What a lens-what can I say-may God bless you and may all your dreams come true
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Ruthi at Squidoo

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by

Ruthi

Although I was born and bred unto the pain of poverty and abuse, I firmly believe "a bit o' sunshine can always be found peekin' out o' the clouds" and... more »

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Must have on your bookshelf! 

Amazing storytelling!

Women Who Run with the Wolves

Amazon Price: $4.07 (as of 06/04/2012)Buy Now

For women, and for the men who love them, this is a must read book title!

The author uses myth, folklore, and wondrous storytelling to take us back to the instinctual woman inside of each of us.

abitosunshine Love and Writing 

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abitosunshine 

Where a bit of sunshine can always be found.

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