Saint Valentine's Day: Teaching Your Kids To Be Lovers

...A long, long time ago, in ancient Rome, there was a priest named Valentinus. He was a faithful Christian who loved his fellow men and women to the point of risking his life for them. And great risk there was, for Rome was a heathen nation at that time and the authorities persecuted the believers of Jesus on many occasions.

The nation was in trouble, because poor and warlike tribes from the North had set their eyes on Roman land and fortunes, ravaged the country and killed thousands of innocent citizens. Claudius Gothicus, the emperor, was a very competent general, determined to turn the invaders away. He drove his legions against the barbaric hordes, and was indeed winning. But Claudius was a rough soldier, who had spent his entire life in the army fighting for his homeland, and he wouldn't settle for ordinary bravery.

"My men are becoming soft," he thought. "I know what's wrong -- they want to go back to their homes alive, to meet their wives and children again. Some won't even enroll at all and prefer staying with their families. But I need more soldiers for my army; and a soldier must not think of how to best save his neck to return to his beloved ones, but be prepared to die for his emperor."
So, Claudius lay down a cruel law; he prohibited marriage for Roman soldiers and young men who hadn't already served in the military. Thus, he believed, his army would become more fierce and invincible.

Young lovers were desperate. How would they live together and start raising their families, if they couldn't take the marriage vows? Father Valentinus, compassionate and brave as he was, defied the prohibition and secretly married many Christian couples. But his goodness was badly rewarded, for someone must have blown the whistle on him, and he was arrested and brought to jail.

His jailor had a young daughter, named Julia, who was blind. The pious priest miraculously healed Julia, and the entire family of the jailor marveled and believed in Jesus. This was deemed an act of great infidelity to the emperor and the Prefect, the Roman officer who was in charge of the city, decided it was time he punished Valentinus. But the priest would not betray his faith, even though he was beaten harshly by the Roman soldiers, so the Prefect ordered him executed. Before the guards came to take him away for the place of torture, the soon-to-become saint wrote a note for the healed girl, whom he had grown fond of, signed "From your Valentinus." And this was the first valentine card ever.

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As beautiful and touching this story may be, it is rather imaginary than real. The only fact we know for sure is that there have been a number of Valentines who martyred during Roman persecutions of Christians. One of them was decapitated in 269 A.D. and buried just outside the city of Rome. The rest of the details must have been added gradually, until - as is usually the case - the legend took its current form. The celebration of Love and of the expression of loving feelings had found a patron Saint.

Love is a very powerful feeling. And life always finds a way to prevail. Since the most ancient of times, Man realized that he was created to couple, in order to renew humanity. Over the course of the centuries, the institution of marriage became very important, as it was the accepted way of bringing new members (children) to the community.

We ought not forget that, in those ancient times, man's subsistence depended directly on the earth and on the works of agriculture, gathering, and hunting - brief, on the whole natural cycle of life, in a society without all the technological tools we so greatly depend on nowadays. In countries of mild climate, like those in Southern Europe, from around the beginnings of March till the end of December almost everybody was engaged in toilsome, albeit necessary works, in order to ensure the tribe's food supply and survival. The digging, and later the plouwing of the earth, the care for and harvesting of plants and of their fruits came to a brief pause during the coldest months of the year. It was during this 2 months' rest period, that the peasants gathered in their villages and farms; it was an opportunity to look after their social relationships - for these need cultivation too.


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In Ancient Athens, one of the southernmost corners of Europe, marriages were performed during the month of Gamelion (16th Jan-15th Feb). Gam-os in the Greek language means marriage. An ancient mythological tradition coming from this area relates that Zeus and Hera, the King and Queen of Olympian Gods, were married at that time of the year. Various celebrations were held in memory of the event.

In neighbouring Italy, Latins celebrated their delight at the approach of spring and their hope for new produce of the earth and of man with a three-day festival of fertility at around the same time (February 13 through 15). This was a very popular celebration, very dear to people for about 8 centuries, or even more - for who knows when people started imagining and reenacting such stories for the first time.

Sources mention yet another custom relating to "love notes." First, we must keep in mind that mores were quite different back then. Girls were kept indoors and went under strict supervision until they got married, so there was little chance for young people to meet, get to know each other, and form couples. Tradition says that this was the time for practicing this particular custom - remember, it was the time of year for socializing! Girls' names were written on scraps of paper - or on some other material of the epoch, I guess - and these were put in an urn. Boys drew their lot from the urn; the girl whose name a boy chose would be his "sweetheart" for the year. Just think - two young people given the chance to get to know each other a little better (because all this didn't mean they were suddenly permitted just anything!) and maybe get to like each other. Talk about romance!

In 496 Pope Gelasius dedicated February 14th to the memory of Saint Valentine, and it was not long until the former became patron Saint of betrothed couples, happy marriages, love, epileptics, and bee (what a prolific little creature!) keepers.

Take a break. Enjoy some romantic music.
You'll see that you will come up with fresh ideas of things to discuss about love.

Heart-warming Love Ballads
Do these songs remind you of anything? Stir any romantic memories or desires?

We can teach through music too. Songs appeal to the sentiment; songs that withstood the test of time must certainly have something to say...

It may be that this lovers' holiday is rooted in most ancient heathen customs. So, what of it? Many Christian customs draw their origins in time-old traditions, anyway. This is not a bad thing in itself.

You see, humans have always tried to give meaning to their life and to all of its important moments. When humanity was young, people did not have science to explain neither natural phenomena, nor why things are better done in a certain way rather than in another. So, after many generations of repeated trials and errors, they concluded on what worked best for them and then solidified this knowledge they have acquired into fixed customs and maxims. These sets of maxims gradually came to form various world religions.

Humanity never ceased to progress, though. The once unrefined understanding men had of their environement and of themselves became more sophisticated. More precise concepts developed, and religions lost their original gross character to reach higher spiritual levels. But it would have been very difficult, if not impossible, to uproot all those ancient stories and customs from people's minds and psyche, for they had been there for hundreds, even thousands of years. News circulated much more slowly at those ancient times and novel ideas had to be embroidered into old canvases in order to be successful. So, popular myths and customs still wielded their influence over people, but now they have taken on additonal layers of meaning - and the earthly celebration of fertility became a celebration of Christian Love and affection.

Little children always have a soft spot for animals. When I watched movies as a kid, I tended to sympathize more with animals than with humans. I have witnessed this same tendency in my daughter. One could say that it runs in the family; nontheless, I think that a movie with animal characters can reach directly at a kid's heart and speak to it more convincingly than many other means.

Walt Disney's all-time classic Lady and the Tramp is one of the finest stories to use when wanting to explore the many facets of love, friendship, and devotion -- dog-to-dog as well as dog-to-human.

Being an ex-tutor, I love putting together lesson plans. So, without further ado, I'd like to present you with a famous excerpt of the movie, followed by a set of Q&A based on it. Sit back and enjoy...