Save Your Failing Marriage Now!

Don't Retaliate - While your spouse might be hurtful and angry and venomous, you should not retaliate. Sometimes they just want a fight to prove that they are right and that you cannot stay married. It is easier to force someone into a yelling match to demonise them further and make your decision look correct than it is to leave them when you still love them. This is often their thinking. Instead, you should not fall back on yelling, spiteful quips or anything at all. Simply accept it and let the words wash over you or get out of the blast area quickly! The more you do this, the less it will happen and the more you will be able to talk properly.

Don't Say "I Love You" - This is a kind of emotional blackmail even if you do not realise it. This is seen by your spouse more as an attack as it hits a raw nerve because they usually do love you but cannot think about that while they want to divorce you. This will make them lower their shields as they believe you are trying to manipulate them rather than find a solution to the problem.

Find the Problem Behind the Problem - When a person says there is an issue so great that it is destroying a marriage so badly, the funny thing is, that it is not usually the real reason. If you probe deeper, the easy issues that they might throw at you are just a cover for something else. Sometimes it can be things you may not want to discover but must such as infidelity, drug use, psychological problems and so forth. Or sometimes it might be something even they do not fully understand themselves or cannot articulate to you.

Act Don't Talk - Do not promise change, do not talk about how much things can be abetter, do not run our mouth off in a desperate a attempt to talk them back. There is a time for communication and a time for action and to begin with action must be taken before meaningful dialogue can continue. If you need to make a change in your life or marriage, do it, don't talk about it.

These are but a few good tips which I found useful when I was going through a rough patch. However implementing these ideas is always harder than just thinking about them and reading them. Controlling your anger was a big one for me and it still can be difficult if an argument happens (which is very rare now).

I found a lot of help from a book that you can download that gives some excellent advice on how to deal with all these things. However, most importantly it gives you a real plan of attack to save your marriage form going down the tubes which is so hard to come up with by yourself. With all the emotional turmoil going on, this really helped me to bring it together.

Click below if you want to check this out too, it might be the missing pieces that can mend your relationship and bring back the happy marriage that you are missing.