3 Simple Steps To Save Your Marriage
When two people make the commitment to marriage they are saying that they want to spend the rest of their life with each other. It is a beautiful vow that declares there is only one person that they want to be with, and they are prepared to stick with that person, "in sickness and in health, in good times and bad" for ever and ever. Sadly it doesn't always work that way. In the United States nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. Think of the last two weddings you attended. Statistically one of those will fail. If your relationship is headed down that road, you should know that you can save your marriage.
With a little work you can save your marriage and return to the happier times. There is a very simple three step process that you should follow to go from the situation you are in now, where you are looking for a solution, through to the situation you want to be in, where your marriage is as happy as it once was.
Step One: Decide That You Want It.
This may sound like a simple step, but it's really not. In fact it is probably the hardest step of the three. It's all very well to say you want to save your marriage. But it's all very well to say you want to lose weight as well, and we all know that doesn't necessarily mean it is going to happen. When you decide you want it you need to make this your number one focus in life. Your purpose in life needs to become singular. Your purpose in life is now simply this: saving your marriage.
What does that mean? It means you should be willing to do everything possible to save your marriage. Everything you are doing you should be asking "will this help fix my marriage?". The answer should always be yes.
You may think: Yes, I want to save it, but my spouse doesn't. That's ok. If you put forth the effort, and do not put pressure or guilt on your spouse, you will usually see a turnaround in their behavior as well. Nothing is 100% guaranteed, but I've seen it work before and it can work for you.
Remember, your spouse fell in love with you before. They can fall in love with you again too.
Step Two: Figure Out What Is Wrong.
Again, this is not as easy as it sounds. Usually the things that trigger arguments aren't the underlying problems, and it is the underlying problems you need to get to in order to save your marriage. Sit down with your partner, acknowledge things are not how you would like, and be open about how you are both feeling in the relationship. I personally think it's a great idea to do this over dinner in a nice restaurant. Not only is the mood already set, but the presence of other people will help you keep your emotions in check and help you to avoid raising your voice or arguing. But don't ambush your spouse. Suggest going to your favorite restaurant and, if it's alright, talking about "us."
The best way of starting this conversation is by asking "How can I make you happier?". No matter what your spouse says, it's important to acknowledge it. It's important to them, so it should be important to you. Then say "Okay, what else." Saving your marriage includes compromising and no marriage can last without it. Show your spouse their feelings, wants, needs and desires are important to you. Your spouse needs to truly feel you want them to be happy. And they will be more likely to reciprocate if they see action on your part. You can save your marriage when you respect and love your spouse in this way.
Step Three: Fix It
Once you have acknowledged a problem, and defined it, it becomes so much easier to actually see what the steps are to fixing it. The problem almost always contains the solution. If the problem is "I don't feel I have enough time with you" then the solution has already presented itself. Likewise if it is "I don't have enough time to myself" you can move the other way. The key is to identify the real problems and have an honest shot at fixing them in order to save your marriage.
So there it is. Three simple steps to fixing your marriage. It's not any sort of rocket science or secret formula. And anyone who tells you it is, run (don't walk) away from them!. But while it's not easy, it is simple. If you follow through the steps you can save your marriage and be on your way back to a healthy and fulfilling relationship
3 Simple Steps To Save Your Marriage
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Marriage is a personal union of individuals. This union may also be called matrimony, while the ceremony that marks its beginning is usually called a wedding and the married status created is sometimes called wedlock.
Marriage is an institution in which interpersonal relationships (usually intimate and sexual) are acknowledged by the state or by religious authority. It is often viewed as a contract. Civil marriage is the legal concept of marriage as a governmental institution, in accordance with marriage laws of the jurisdiction. If recognized by the state, by the religion(s) to which the parties belong or by society in general, the act of marriage changes the personal and social status of the individuals who enter into it.
People marry for many reasons, but usually one or more of the following: legal, social, and economic stability; the formation of a family unit; procreation and the education and nurturing of children; legitimizing sexual relations; public declaration of love; or to obtain citizenship.
Excerpt - page 335: '... at the wedding; hence the importance of including in the marriage ceremony the words, "With all my worldly goods I thee endow."...'
Marriage may take many forms: for example, a union between one man and one woman as husband and wife is a monogamous heterosexual marriage; polygamy ? in which a person takes more than one spouse ? is common in many societies; See also: Kaingang.. Recently, some jurisdictions Arce, Rose. Massachusetts court upholds same-sex marriage. Feb. 6, 2004. CNN. Retrieved Feb. 17, 2007. and denominations have begun to recognize same-sex marriage, uniting people of the same sex.
A marriage is often formalized during a marriage ceremony, which may be performed either by a religious officiant, by a secular State authorised officiator, or (in weddings that have no church or state affiliation) by a trusted friend of the wedding participants. The act of marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved and, in many societies, their extended families.
Article 16 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights declares that "Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution. Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses." The Cairo Declaration on Human Rights in Islam gives men and women the "right to marriage" regardless of their race, colour or nationality, but not religion.
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