How can you become a "self-defense woman"?
Generally speaking, it's my guess you probably would see a self defense woman as one of two things.
You'd probably be viewing it as simply one of the most natural things any modern day woman could be ... Or, you may tend to think of it as a strange concept all together - a self defense woman?
Whatever your point of reference might be - let's go inside and have a look! After all, there's always more than meets the eye.
Table of Contents
- A must read update to the 'Self Defense Tips' blog
- Free newsletter: 'Women's Self-Defense Tips'
- "The respectable victims of sexual assaults"
- A poll about how we may view sexual assaults
- Part two: "The respectable victims"
- A free self-defense resource
- The "rape by stranger" myth
- Self-defense on eBay
- The Martial Arts Vault
- "Will a self-defense course do me any good at all?"
- You can defend yourself most of the times!
- Talk about a black or white subject!
- What would YOU like to know more about?
- Women's Self-Defense Tips
- Cases of distraction
- About Self Defense Blogger Blog
- A look at female self-defense
- Carrying a weapon you say?
- "Spicing" it up
- The self-defense blog
- Go with the flow: Twitter
- Let me hear from you!
- Blog Posts about women's self defense
A must read update to the 'Self Defense Tips' blog
I have added (what I dare say is) a rather important post to the Blogger blog: 'Women's Self-Defense Tips'.
The post has been called 'Hallmark of sexual predator' and it is about the importance of understanding more about how sexual predators operate - how they actually do what they do. It is also about not trusting the "random violence" tag too much...
I urge you to take the time to give it a quick read!
The post has been called 'Hallmark of sexual predator' and it is about the importance of understanding more about how sexual predators operate - how they actually do what they do. It is also about not trusting the "random violence" tag too much...
I urge you to take the time to give it a quick read!
Free newsletter: 'Women's Self-Defense Tips'
Click below and sign up for our weekly self-defense newsletter!
"The respectable victims of sexual assaults"
From our women's self-defense tips newsletter
This is from one of the first modules in the Women's Self-Defense Tips newsletter.
Early on we try to hammer home the point of putting the blame firmly where it belongs -> and that is with the perpetrator.
Some time there's a tendency to make a distinction - consciously or subconsciously - between what I call the "respectable victims" and those who in effect are deemed "less respectable."
The respectable victims are of course those who:
- were not under the influence of drugs or alcohol
- were not wearing short dresses
- did not accept a hike from a stranger
- did not voluntarily follow someone home
- did fight back and did said no
- did not let a stranger into their home
- did not walk home alone at night a little tipsy
- did not fall asleep in a strange place
- did not have "several" sexual relationships
- did not flirt or "play along"
In short, they were not to "blame" in any way, shape or form. Often times these victims fell prey to sexual assaults from some total stranger, in broad daylight and while they were sober of course...
The others, well they must obviously have done something wrong. I bet they "asked for it".
By doing these distinctions - sorting out the "real rapes" done to "respectable victims" we do several things.
We forget that these daytime stranger rapes are almost non-existing. Then we (implicitly) blame those who get raped by acquaintances, by a trusted adviser, by a boyfriend or husband, by the friend of a friend, by a date, by a taxi driver, by someone who slipped a drug into her drink and so on and so forth.
Not to mention sexual workers, or those who enter a party with total strangers at her free will on her own.
Continued below the poll...
Early on we try to hammer home the point of putting the blame firmly where it belongs -> and that is with the perpetrator.
Some time there's a tendency to make a distinction - consciously or subconsciously - between what I call the "respectable victims" and those who in effect are deemed "less respectable."
The respectable victims are of course those who:
- were not under the influence of drugs or alcohol
- were not wearing short dresses
- did not accept a hike from a stranger
- did not voluntarily follow someone home
- did fight back and did said no
- did not let a stranger into their home
- did not walk home alone at night a little tipsy
- did not fall asleep in a strange place
- did not have "several" sexual relationships
- did not flirt or "play along"
In short, they were not to "blame" in any way, shape or form. Often times these victims fell prey to sexual assaults from some total stranger, in broad daylight and while they were sober of course...
The others, well they must obviously have done something wrong. I bet they "asked for it".
By doing these distinctions - sorting out the "real rapes" done to "respectable victims" we do several things.
We forget that these daytime stranger rapes are almost non-existing. Then we (implicitly) blame those who get raped by acquaintances, by a trusted adviser, by a boyfriend or husband, by the friend of a friend, by a date, by a taxi driver, by someone who slipped a drug into her drink and so on and so forth.
Not to mention sexual workers, or those who enter a party with total strangers at her free will on her own.
Continued below the poll...
A poll about how we may view sexual assaults
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Part two: "The respectable victims"
Continued:
What about her who wanders off alone and drunk 4 a.m. through a darkened city park?
Or, what about the victim who didn't say no enough times or loud enough, or who "flirted", or perhaps didn't fight back simply because she feared for her life, or didn't manage to fight him off.
Or, what about her who had sex with one man at a party. Isn't it logical that she is "up for grabs" for the rest of the guys? Not a virgin you say? She can blame herself!
Do you begin to see how we may try and sort people into two sets of boxes - one for those who are to blame, and the others; the more respectable ones?
Do we as a society, and do we as individuals, really mean that a woman is to blame if she is being raped at night, outside of her own home? And do we distinguish between the "real rapes" - forgetting the other 99%?
Do we say that any woman who dares to step out of line, who does not follow our "manly advice" of walking in pairs, never trusting a stranger, being properly dressed and sober "asked for it"?
If so, then I suggest we begin to change our own ways and our own murky attitudes before we offer any sort of advice or critique to others.
In order to prevent sexual assaults we need to look at the whole spectrum of incidents - from grooming, to intimidation, drugging and violent assaults. And we definitely need to do this from a basis of hope, understanding and help - not from a set of double standards.
What about her who wanders off alone and drunk 4 a.m. through a darkened city park?
Or, what about the victim who didn't say no enough times or loud enough, or who "flirted", or perhaps didn't fight back simply because she feared for her life, or didn't manage to fight him off.
Or, what about her who had sex with one man at a party. Isn't it logical that she is "up for grabs" for the rest of the guys? Not a virgin you say? She can blame herself!
Do you begin to see how we may try and sort people into two sets of boxes - one for those who are to blame, and the others; the more respectable ones?
Do we as a society, and do we as individuals, really mean that a woman is to blame if she is being raped at night, outside of her own home? And do we distinguish between the "real rapes" - forgetting the other 99%?
Do we say that any woman who dares to step out of line, who does not follow our "manly advice" of walking in pairs, never trusting a stranger, being properly dressed and sober "asked for it"?
If so, then I suggest we begin to change our own ways and our own murky attitudes before we offer any sort of advice or critique to others.
In order to prevent sexual assaults we need to look at the whole spectrum of incidents - from grooming, to intimidation, drugging and violent assaults. And we definitely need to do this from a basis of hope, understanding and help - not from a set of double standards.
A free self-defense resource
Doesn't get much better than this...
I'm truly happy to be able to bring you this awsome (and free) content!
I take it for granted you are interested in self-defense for women? After all that is the topic of this lense...
So, in order to really get a better perspective on the subject, I urge you to immediately rush over and grab these reports:
Jujitsu.no/women-can
From there you can sign up for my bi-weekly and brand new report 'Women Can'.
These self-defense success stories are all taken from the e-book series "I Hear You Say Women Can't Defend Themselves".
Not only will I be sending you new incident rapport every 14 days. You will also have an analysis of the incidents, plus some valuable tips and pointers.
Enough said, jump right over and Sign up today - no need to thank me later :-)
I take it for granted you are interested in self-defense for women? After all that is the topic of this lense...
So, in order to really get a better perspective on the subject, I urge you to immediately rush over and grab these reports:
Jujitsu.no/women-can
From there you can sign up for my bi-weekly and brand new report 'Women Can'.
These self-defense success stories are all taken from the e-book series "I Hear You Say Women Can't Defend Themselves".
Not only will I be sending you new incident rapport every 14 days. You will also have an analysis of the incidents, plus some valuable tips and pointers.
Enough said, jump right over and Sign up today - no need to thank me later :-)
The "rape by stranger" myth
Here's something more to think about
Read my blog post: Rape Facts to find a good indication to the fact that sexual assaults and rape very seldom is about being attacked by a total stranger.
Rather, the criminal is someone the victim knows, like a friend or neighbor.
Rather, the criminal is someone the victim knows, like a friend or neighbor.
Self-defense on eBay
A great way to search for deals on books, products and more
Fetching RSS feed... please stand byThe Martial Arts Vault
Another great, free resource for self-defense and martial arts
The Vault is now officially open, and you are welcome to join any time!
Simply hop over to The Vault and sign up to gain access to totally free and cool stuff about self-defense and the martial arts.
In addition to the free goodies you may also, accationally, find substantial rebates to my e-books etc.
Simply hop over to The Vault and sign up to gain access to totally free and cool stuff about self-defense and the martial arts.
In addition to the free goodies you may also, accationally, find substantial rebates to my e-books etc.
"Will a self-defense course do me any good at all?"
Well, that depends on the course after all
A good self-defense course run by qualified and experienced personnel will give you valuable resources and the right kind of insight and perspectives.
On the other hand - a lower quality course may potentially give you a false sense of security and methods that are of little or no real value. When done properly, you may experience something similar to this Israeli woman.
"It worked with me" the 48-year-old Jerusalem woman said. As she was walking to her car in a Tel Aviv parking lot one night, two drunk men approached her with what she called "suspicious movements."
"I told them in a strong and clear voice to stop and to go away", she said, "and they went." She added, "I would surely have frozen in fear, and I don't believe I could have done something like that before the self-defense course."
So how should a course be run to be effective? Fear not, we will address this issue later on!
On the other hand - a lower quality course may potentially give you a false sense of security and methods that are of little or no real value. When done properly, you may experience something similar to this Israeli woman.
"It worked with me" the 48-year-old Jerusalem woman said. As she was walking to her car in a Tel Aviv parking lot one night, two drunk men approached her with what she called "suspicious movements."
"I told them in a strong and clear voice to stop and to go away", she said, "and they went." She added, "I would surely have frozen in fear, and I don't believe I could have done something like that before the self-defense course."
So how should a course be run to be effective? Fear not, we will address this issue later on!
You can defend yourself most of the times!
And here are the statistics to back it up.
A couple of years ago I spoke with a good friend of mine. This person is a forward thinking, regular kind of guy - and no Mr Macho by a long shot.As it was, he wanted some advice about self-defense, so he came to me.
It turned out that it was his daughter who wanted to learn to defend herself, and my friend had this this frightfully common idea that it was rather fruitless for her to do so "because a man would always be to strong for her after all".
And no matter how I tried I was not able to get through to him. I gave him all my statistics and experiences, but all to no avail.
Right there and then I said to myself: "Enough already!" And so I set about gathering stories from all over - stories about women who fought back.
I call this series of e-books "I Hear You Say Women Can't Defend Themselves", and you can read more about it here.
Let's settle the score once and for all...
Talk about a black or white subject!
Why not explore the shades of gray?
Briefly, let me say that I do have an extensive and solid background for "daring" to have this lense up, but more about that later.
What I would like to state is that I can not, and will not tell you - as a man to a woman - how you should think, feel or act towards the issue of self defense.
Doing that would be a mistake so many of my gender makes - giving easy answers to a complex issue like this.
And another thing, as a man, I have to look at the fact that male violence towards women is first and foremost MY responisibility - NOT yours! I "am" the offender...
I'll soon be back with more :-)
What I would like to state is that I can not, and will not tell you - as a man to a woman - how you should think, feel or act towards the issue of self defense.
Doing that would be a mistake so many of my gender makes - giving easy answers to a complex issue like this.
And another thing, as a man, I have to look at the fact that male violence towards women is first and foremost MY responisibility - NOT yours! I "am" the offender...
I'll soon be back with more :-)
What would YOU like to know more about?
Help us help you!
Potentially, there are a vast number of really important and worthwhile subjects about female self-defense, security and personal protection - things which could or perhaps even should be discussed.
However, I'm not really sure what it is that YOU would want to learn more about.
So, why not tell me - in order for us to come up with something of real value to you?
You can vote as many times as you like, and vote on more than one subject (just one at the time, though).
Is something missing? Scroll down and shoot me a message about it! :-)
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Women's Self-Defense Tips
Do remember to check out Women's Self-Defense Tips for more tips and self-defense "tricks" for women and girls!
Cases of distraction
If you want to learn more about one of the most commonly used assault methods, then take a look at my blog post: Classic cases of distraction.
You may also find lots of other blog posts about the same topic, such as the 'mp3 man' from Sweden.
Doing a search by the keywords (called labels at Blogger) 'awareness' and 'distraction', you should get most of the posts about this issue.
You may also find lots of other blog posts about the same topic, such as the 'mp3 man' from Sweden.
Doing a search by the keywords (called labels at Blogger) 'awareness' and 'distraction', you should get most of the posts about this issue.
About Self Defense Blogger Blog
'Keeping both eyes open on the world of self-defense'
Fetching RSS feed... please stand byA look at female self-defense
Here are some YouTube videos for you
Fight Back w/ Lu Parker -- Women's Self Defense clip on KTLA
automatically generated by YouTube
Carrying a weapon you say?
By all means if you know how to use it
It is all too common to rely on the effect of a weapon (gun, knife, spray, taser, kubotan, keys etc.) getting you out of a tight spot.
For starters - do you have your weapon ready when you need it?
A lot of people I talk to about being assaulted while walking, running, waiting or loading in or out of their car says the same thing: "It happened so quickly", "He came out of nowhere", "I didn't see it coming" or something along those lines.
And when it does "suddenly" happen, how are you going to use your weapon if you're outside your car while your weapon is inside the car? How are you going to get that canister out of you bag when you're already on the ground trying to fight the attacker off?
Don't get me wrong, a weapon can indeed help you in a bad situation. But only if these three conditions are met:
1. You know how to use it, and are willing to use it.
2. You have the weapon at hand. And, most importantly
3. This is not your only line of defense.
Any weapon is to be considered as just another tool, and definitely no THE tool to solve all problems. If used strategically, wisely, confidently and appropriately - then I say go for it!
For starters - do you have your weapon ready when you need it?
A lot of people I talk to about being assaulted while walking, running, waiting or loading in or out of their car says the same thing: "It happened so quickly", "He came out of nowhere", "I didn't see it coming" or something along those lines.
And when it does "suddenly" happen, how are you going to use your weapon if you're outside your car while your weapon is inside the car? How are you going to get that canister out of you bag when you're already on the ground trying to fight the attacker off?
Don't get me wrong, a weapon can indeed help you in a bad situation. But only if these three conditions are met:
1. You know how to use it, and are willing to use it.
2. You have the weapon at hand. And, most importantly
3. This is not your only line of defense.
Any weapon is to be considered as just another tool, and definitely no THE tool to solve all problems. If used strategically, wisely, confidently and appropriately - then I say go for it!
"Spicing" it up
More information about pepper spray
Since quite a number of folks have requested more information, I have put up a separate page about pepper spray, how to purhase self-defense spray and issues related to these kind of weapons.You will find legal, tactical and practical issues explained, plus many examples where people who have defended themselves using pepper spray.
Hop over and have a look when you have the time - I'd love to get some feedback from you! You can also access the site here.
The self-defense blog
Make sure you drop by from time to time!
At my self-defense blog: About Self Defense you can find post being submitted almost on a daily basis about a broad range of self-defense related topics.
There are lots of valuable tips and pointers to be found - make sure you keep up to date!
There are lots of valuable tips and pointers to be found - make sure you keep up to date!
Go with the flow: Twitter
It's a great way to check what others are up to!
I suppose you are using Twitter, right? If not - you should. It's a great little tool; quick and easy.
- aka Twitter
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- Tweetfit is the **it, but don't run and tweet at the same time, twinjury may follow http://tinyurl.com/nw6qky :-)
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- @Ed_Dale - Another reason to go Mac - theft? :-) http://bit.ly/LKHdT
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- An important update to the Women's Self Defense Tips blog: http://womensselfdefensetips.blogspot.com
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- Now 17 great, free self-defense lessons in the 'Women Can', series: http://tinyurl.com/59kj2m
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- Lots of updates to http://martial-arts-sources.blogspot.com
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Let me hear from you!
Anything you'd like to see included ... or excluded.
Drawing upon 30 years of experience, I can probably add to the things you'd like to know more about.
So, feel free to shoot me a message here, and I'll see what I can do!
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- selfdefenseclique selfdefenseclique May 27, 2009 @ 8:01 am
- Great! lens and Nice! video
The way you have described it very cool. This lens is appreciable.
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Reply
- adi_purusa_das adi_purusa_das May 24, 2009 @ 9:36 pm
- Thanks for putting up this lens. I gave you five. I'm also into making self defense related lenses. It's a good use of time. I wish you all the best.
Adi
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Reply
- batchweb1 batchweb1 May 22, 2009 @ 6:10 pm
- Great lens. I love the video. Getting five stars from me. Thanks you.
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- Alpha_4_1 Alpha_4_1 May 13, 2009 @ 8:01 pm
- Well done! As the father of a teenage daughter the ugliness of these attacks are always at the forefront of my thoughts.
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- Torbjornar Torbjornar Oct 22, 2008 @ 4:18 am
- Thanks for dropping by!
Have to disagree about aikido as self-defense though. Far, far too complicated, "artsy" and long-winded. Superb martial art though - very nice.
It's origin (aikijutsu, which is basically jujutsu) is much better suited as self-defense - if you train it properly.
Those who do train aikido as self-defense has seemingly gone back to the roots, and it is almost text-book aikijutsu. It's a completely different "beast" all together.
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Blog Posts about women's self defense
by Torbjornar
My name is Torbjorn Arntsen, and you are most welcome here!
I tend to write about various topics within the fields of martial arts, self-def...
