Self Esteem - The Key to Success

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Self Esteem - The Key to Success


What is Self Esteem?

I like the wiki definition best - "Self esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own self worth". See Wiki Reference Page


Self evaluation is the key point. You decide! However, the challenge in building self esteem is that it is assaulted daily by so many different forces. It's a wonder any of us maintain it!

Even when our overall self esteem level is quite high, there will always be areas in which we are less confident. For example, an athlete may possess a very strong physical self image but at the same time not be confident of his or her intellect or social skills.

Yet self esteem is the most powerful and enduring characteristic that determines who we are, what we do and what we have.

Why is Self Esteem so Important?

It's the Foundation of All We Are

It's a shame that this birthright can be taken away in our earliest years by the people around us. This is often unintentional, but our definition of who we are is initially defined by this childhood experience.

It isn't a great start, but it's not a life sentence. Self-esteem is our responsibility as well as our right. Only we can build our self image and only we can give permission to take it away. So simple really!

Fortunately, we have the power to grow and re-define ourselves from the inside out. There's a flame of self belief inside all of us that can't be extinguished unless we allow it.

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Self esteem is so important because it is the foundation of everything we are - our level of self esteem totally defines our goals, expectations, behaviour and the quality of our relationships.

One thing that would REALLY change the world is an outbreak of high self esteem. Just imagine it! There would be no crime, no poverty, and no wars. Taking from someone else is unnecessary if we are taking care of our own needs and responsibilities.

How Do I Build Self Esteem?

Loving Yourself Is Just a Choice You Make

I defer to Louise Hay who said it so well many years ago in the following videos. You just decide to love yourself - it's a choice. Just as finding fault with yourself is ultimately your decision.

If you are having "one of those days", click on these two videos and I promise that you will come away being your best friend again. Self concept intact!

Click Here for Louise Hay Loving Yourself Part 1

Click Here for Louise Hay Loving Yourself Part 2

Are You Job Hunting and Need to Boost Your Self Esteem? Click Here for Interview Tips

You are the scriptwriter, the producer, the decision maker and the creator of your own reality show. Your life is absolutely yours, no questions asked. Your decisions, your consequences, your rewards.

Building self esteem is a life long challenge that you will sometimes win and sometimes lose, but making the best choices possible each day, is the only remedy.

Nobody else can possibly know what is best for you, however well intentioned. Give others the same respect and life will be good.

Thought for the Day

Making Someone Else Feel Great

Brighten Up Your Day!

Self Esteem Quotes

This clip has been around a while but it still makes my day. Hope you like it too.
Would love your favourites if you'd share in my Guest Book at the bottom of the page.
Self Esteem Quotes & Quotations
by 2headedguy | video info

743 ratings | 451,878 views
curated content from YouTube

Why is Self Esteem the Key to Success?

Five Key Points To Consider

1. You train people how to treat you

When your self concept is solid and you expect to be treated accordingly, others amazingly take the cue and meet your expectations. If not, you can speak up, negotiate or move away. This results in more of what you want and less of what you don't want.

2. People with a strong self image and self confidence usually form more effective relationships

Whether they are business, family or love relationships, nothing beats the power of showing exactly where you stand and what you expect. Bringing your deeds rather than your needs to the table is a very attractive trait and as a contributor you stand out from the crowd. Guess who is offered the promotion? Guess who enjoys a happy marriage and strong friendships.

3. High self esteem individuals are surprisingly low maintenance for others

If you have clarity around your expectations and behave in a congruent way, there is little to misunderstand. Colleagues, friends and partners develop confidence and trust in you which leads to greater opportunities, collaborations and stronger relationships.

4. You are your own best friend

If you are taking care of yourself physically, emotionally and intellectually, your need for validation and support from others is diminished. You treat yourself at least as well as your best friend. You forgive yourself when you have not met the mark because you are human. You know you will do better when you know better.

5. You are not overly concerned about what other people think of you.

It's amazing how peaceful and empowered you feel when you use comments from others just as feedback. We all need to get along to get what we want, but that is different from allowing others' input to change our self concept. My favourite quote is - "What others think of me is none of my business" and another is - "You'd worry a lot less about what other people think of you if you knew how infrequently they did it".

Myspace Rangoli Graphics Rangoli Designs Clipart

Free Quotes
http://animation-gifs-glitter-graphics.blogspot.com

Self Esteem Test

Do You Really Want to Know?

This is a scientifically validated Self Esteem Test that takes about 15 mins and is easy to do - no need to create an account or log in unless you want to. You can just click on the Get Started button and go.

I found the results a good reflection of my perceived level of self esteem. You can choose to take the test free as I did and receive the short summary and graphic, or pay a small fee for the full Report.

Here to Take the Test

For those who enjoy brain twisters, there is a Left Brain / Right Brain Test that really makes you think. The results are interesting though and anything that helps us understand ourselves is good. Right!

Here to Take the Test

About Love...

Getting Married Or Living Together?

Love is a Verb!

The one area where self esteem is absolutely critical is in making relationships work.

A lack of self esteem can mean we allow others to control or decide for us, are needy rather than giving of ourselves and it may cause us to have coping strategies that are not helpful. These might include over eating, over spending, gambling and drinking.

Partners with high self esteem arm themselves with knowledge and an expectation that they are capable of having a great relationship and also able to handle things going wrong.

They know they will be OK with or without their partners.

Understanding your partner's personality is one area that can smooth the way to building a great relationship with more harmony and fewer misunderstandings. The Myers Briggs Type Indicator provides great material for learning about personality and one example is the Me to We Program

Motivation Resources

The Self Esteem System

Maintaining my self esteem daily is an ongoing challenge - I am winning though! I use lots of different resources and find that certain models and teachers work better for me than others. This is one I have tried and go back to often because it contains a variety of resources and I can choose what suits my day. Dr Joe Rubino is quite well known in the self improvement field and this is one of the many free offers that lets you try before you buy. As I find more free stuff I will add it for you. Enjoy!

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My Favorite Book on Amazon

Warning: This is not light fiction...

The key to high self esteem and self confidence is taking ownership of our "stuff" and it is the hardest thing to do. This is the book I go to for inspiration when I fall back into my old habits. Even though it is directed at couples it really translates to all close relationships, including your relationship with yourself.

I saw this author on Oprah last year and was moved to buy his book because he has a very real and practical approach based on experience as well as science. Harville Hendrix Ph.D wrote the original text in 1988 and updated it in 2008 and it has lost none of its relevancy.

His Imago Relationship Therapy is the result of much research with his private patients and within his long marriage. The book is based on living in a real relationship and making it work.

I was single when I read this book and it helped me to process why I was attracted to people who weren't right for me. Well worth a read whether you are single or in a long term relationship. Really, it is about all relationships
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This Book is not New But Very Powerful

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

Review taken from Dr. Brandon's website. More reviews on Amazon

Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves. Nearly every psychological problem - from anxiety and depression to self-sabotage at work or at school, from fear of intimacy to chronic hostility - is traceable to low self-esteem. In the chaotic and competitive world we face today, both personal happiness and economic survival rest on how well we understand self-esteem and nurture it in ourselves and in others.

Part I of this provocative book demonstrates compellingly why self-esteem is basic to psychological health, achievement, and positive relationships. It issues a summons to the hero within each of us. Nothing is more challenging than to live by our own mind, judgment, and values. And nothing is ultimately more rewarding.

Part II introduces the six pillars themselves: six action-based principles for daily living that provide the foundation for the establishment and maintenance of self-esteem. Filled with vivid personal examples, these chapters also provide simple yet powerful exercises for gradually increasing personal awareness and effectiveness.

Part III explores the importance of self-esteem in five key areas: the workplace, parenting, education, psychotherapy, and society at large. It provides concrete guidelines for teachers, parents, managers, and therapists who are responsible for developing the self-esteem of others. And it shows why a culture of self-esteem and personal accountability is imperative for survival in the twenty-first century.
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Your Comments and Great Ideas!

  • TransientTimes Jun 13, 2011 @ 9:03 pm | delete
    I've never really had a problem with self esteem, but I've known lot's of people who have. Great Lens!!! I love reading things that make me feel better about myself. Mind over matter... Love it, Thanks!!!
  • RebeccaE May 26, 2011 @ 6:51 pm | delete
    a great lens, it was wonderful to read something so positve and I'll be taking a close look at these books.
  • Inspireume May 26, 2011 @ 8:20 pm | delete
    Thanks Rebecca. You sound a little like me - I'm always looking for resources to keep me upbeat and happy.

    All the best to you.
    Yvonne.
  • lizziehumphreys Mar 15, 2011 @ 6:51 am | delete
    very nice lens! :) my self esteem used to be extremely low and I still now dont have much self esteem! but im working on it! :)

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