Self Esteem - The Key to Success

It's a shame that this birthright can be taken away in our earliest years by the people around us. This is often unintentional, but our definition of who we are is initially defined by this childhood experience.

It isn't a great start, but it's not a life sentence. Self-esteem is our responsibility as well as our right. Only we can build our self image and only we can give permission to take it away. So simple really!

Fortunately, we have the power to grow and re-define ourselves from the inside out. There's a flame of self belief inside all of us that can't be extinguished unless we allow it.

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Self esteem is so important because it is the foundation of everything we are - our level of self esteem totally defines our goals, expectations, behaviour and the quality of our relationships.

One thing that would REALLY change the world is an outbreak of high self esteem. Just imagine it! There would be no crime, no poverty, and no wars. Taking from someone else is unnecessary if we are taking care of our own needs and responsibilities.

I defer to Louise Hay who said it so well many years ago in the following videos. You just decide to love yourself - it's a choice. Just as finding fault with yourself is ultimately your decision.

If you are having "one of those days", click on these two videos and I promise that you will come away being your best friend again. Self concept intact!

Click Here for Louise Hay Loving Yourself Part 1

Click Here for Louise Hay Loving Yourself Part 2

Are You Job Hunting and Need to Boost Your Self Esteem? Click Here for Interview Tips

You are the scriptwriter, the producer, the decision maker and the creator of your own reality show. Your life is absolutely yours, no questions asked. Your decisions, your consequences, your rewards.

Building self esteem is a life long challenge that you will sometimes win and sometimes lose, but making the best choices possible each day, is the only remedy.

Nobody else can possibly know what is best for you, however well intentioned. Give others the same respect and life will be good.

Quotes Comments

1. You train people how to treat you

When your self concept is solid and you expect to be treated accordingly, others amazingly take the cue and meet your expectations. If not, you can speak up, negotiate or move away. This results in more of what you want and less of what you don't want.

2. People with a strong self image and self confidence usually form more effective relationships

Whether they are business, family or love relationships, nothing beats the power of showing exactly where you stand and what you expect. Bringing your deeds rather than your needs to the table is a very attractive trait and as a contributor you stand out from the crowd. Guess who is offered the promotion? Guess who enjoys a happy marriage and strong friendships.

3. High self esteem individuals are surprisingly low maintenance for others

If you have clarity around your expectations and behave in a congruent way, there is little to misunderstand. Colleagues, friends and partners develop confidence and trust in you which leads to greater opportunities, collaborations and stronger relationships.

4. You are your own best friend

If you are taking care of yourself physically, emotionally and intellectually, your need for validation and support from others is diminished. You treat yourself at least as well as your best friend. You forgive yourself when you have not met the mark because you are human. You know you will do better when you know better.

5. You are not overly concerned about what other people think of you.

It's amazing how peaceful and empowered you feel when you use comments from others just as feedback. We all need to get along to get what we want, but that is different from allowing others' input to change our self concept. My favourite quote is - "What others think of me is none of my business" and another is - "You'd worry a lot less about what other people think of you if you knew how infrequently they did it".

Free Quotes
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This is a scientifically validated Self Esteem Test that takes about 15 mins and is easy to do - no need to create an account or log in unless you want to. You can just click on the Get Started button and go.

I found the results a good reflection of my perceived level of self esteem. You can choose to take the test free as I did and receive the short summary and graphic, or pay a small fee for the full Report.

Here to Take the Test

For those who enjoy brain twisters, there is a Left Brain / Right Brain Test that really makes you think. The results are interesting though and anything that helps us understand ourselves is good. Right!

Here to Take the Test

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The one area where self esteem is absolutely critical is in making relationships work.

A lack of self esteem can mean we allow others to control or decide for us, are needy rather than giving of ourselves and it may cause us to have coping strategies that are not helpful. These might include over eating, over spending, gambling and drinking.

Partners with high self esteem arm themselves with knowledge and an expectation that they are capable of having a great relationship and also able to handle things going wrong.

They know they will be OK with or without their partners.

Understanding your partner's personality is one area that can smooth the way to building a great relationship with more harmony and fewer misunderstandings. The Myers Briggs Type Indicator provides great material for learning about personality and one example is the Me to We Program