Coping with Sex, Intimacy and Back Pain
Back pain and sex do not make for very good partners. Sex and intimacy is an important part of a loving relationship/marriage and should be a loving, pleasurable and happy experience for both partners. Making love when one of you suffers from back or sciatic pain may require more thought,patience and understanding.
For the millions of people affected by back pain and sciatica, sex and intimacy can often be one of the first things to be sacrificed. When you have back pain and sciatic pain often that sexual and sensual element of your relationship suffers.
This often has a negative effect on a persons self esteem and create misunderstandings and tension in a marriage or partnership. It may be a difficult and delicate subject to discuss with your doctor and with each other...
This lens hopes to give some emotional and practical suggestions to those who have been affected by how back pain and sciatic pain has affected making love and to help rebuild intimacy in marital and sexual relationships.
I understand first hand that sex and back pain can often be a very delicate subject and I have tried to address it in a sensitive and practical manner that I hope will be of some support.
Please note while there are no explicit images on this page some of the links/books do contain more educational sexually descriptive content.
For the millions of people affected by back pain and sciatica, sex and intimacy can often be one of the first things to be sacrificed. When you have back pain and sciatic pain often that sexual and sensual element of your relationship suffers.
This often has a negative effect on a persons self esteem and create misunderstandings and tension in a marriage or partnership. It may be a difficult and delicate subject to discuss with your doctor and with each other...
This lens hopes to give some emotional and practical suggestions to those who have been affected by how back pain and sciatic pain has affected making love and to help rebuild intimacy in marital and sexual relationships.
I understand first hand that sex and back pain can often be a very delicate subject and I have tried to address it in a sensitive and practical manner that I hope will be of some support.
Please note while there are no explicit images on this page some of the links/books do contain more educational sexually descriptive content.
Communication Is Key To Coping With Sex, Intimacy And Back Pain Issues.
To Restore Intimacy Keep Talking...
Even couples who have been together a long time can be embarrassed actually talking about sex. The most important thing is that you do talk. Ignoring it or pretending sex doesn't matter will not help.
Choose a time when you are both relaxed and without distractions and then just introduce how back pain has affected your love life and intimacy.
If you are the one with sciatic or back pain you need to explain how and why and when your back hurts and why the pain may reduce your desire or put you off sex altogether. Your partner needs to understand what is happening to you and how you feel.
Your partner also needs to have space and time to talk about his or her feelings about how back pain is affecting your sex life and their feelings.
Sometimes the person with the bad back may feel upset,angry and afraid about the limits back pain is putting on their life, not just their sex life but their whole life and be worried and may feel undesirable and insecure.
The partner may feel helpless, frustrated and unloved and not understand how perhaps you can still go to work but not make love...
It may even be helpful to print off some of the information from the links provided to help give a starting point for a discussion.
If you are feeling that you may want to try making love you will find that considering some of the suggested sexual positions may help you both to see what is possible, even with a bad back.
If you are concerned about if you should have sex with your back condition, or you are recovering from back surgery you should discuss with your doctor.
If you find it very embarrassing to talk with your doctor about it take in a written list of questions, once you have handed him or her the questions you will have started the discussion and it should get easier.
For many people the negative effect of back issues on a sexual relationship is temporary. For others it will be something to deal with longer term. Back Pain may change the nature of your sexual relationship with your partner but it doesnt mean it necessarily has to end forever...
Choose a time when you are both relaxed and without distractions and then just introduce how back pain has affected your love life and intimacy.
If you are the one with sciatic or back pain you need to explain how and why and when your back hurts and why the pain may reduce your desire or put you off sex altogether. Your partner needs to understand what is happening to you and how you feel.
Your partner also needs to have space and time to talk about his or her feelings about how back pain is affecting your sex life and their feelings.
Sometimes the person with the bad back may feel upset,angry and afraid about the limits back pain is putting on their life, not just their sex life but their whole life and be worried and may feel undesirable and insecure.
The partner may feel helpless, frustrated and unloved and not understand how perhaps you can still go to work but not make love...
It may even be helpful to print off some of the information from the links provided to help give a starting point for a discussion.
If you are feeling that you may want to try making love you will find that considering some of the suggested sexual positions may help you both to see what is possible, even with a bad back.
If you are concerned about if you should have sex with your back condition, or you are recovering from back surgery you should discuss with your doctor.
If you find it very embarrassing to talk with your doctor about it take in a written list of questions, once you have handed him or her the questions you will have started the discussion and it should get easier.
For many people the negative effect of back issues on a sexual relationship is temporary. For others it will be something to deal with longer term. Back Pain may change the nature of your sexual relationship with your partner but it doesnt mean it necessarily has to end forever...
""Love is a great master. It teaches us to be what we never were.""
Books To Help With Sex, Intimacy and Back Pain
Browse these books about back pain and restoring a comfortable sex life.
Sex and Back Pain: Advice on Restoring Comfortable Sex Lost to Back Pain
Amazon Price: $14.95 (as of 11/26/2009) 
List Price: $14.95
Used Price: $13.49
The Joy of Comfortable Sex: A Guide for Couples with Back or Neck Pain
Amazon Price: $19.95 (as of 11/26/2009)
List Price: $19.95
Used Price: $41.96
Sex and back pain: Advice on restoring comfortable sex that has been lost to back pain
Amazon Price: (as of 11/26/2009)
List Price:
Used Price:
Fibromyalgia and Sex Can Be A Pain In The Neck...and back and shoulders
Amazon Price: $14.95 (as of 11/26/2009)
List Price: $14.95
Used Price: $21.20
Sex and Back Pain
Amazon Price: (as of 11/26/2009)
List Price:
Used Price:
Red Flags and Back Pain
Consult a Doctor urgently if these back pain warning signs apply to you .
- Red Flags And Back Pain
- "Red Flags" or warning signs that you must consult with a healthcare professional as soon as you can.
These are important signs to familiarise yourself with and while most people will never have them you should be aware.
Before, During And After Lovemaking
Things to try to reduce the possibility of back pain during sex.
There are a few things you may like to try to reduce the possibility of back pain during sex.
Try a warm shower or bath either alone or together before and after to warm up the muscles and relax your back.
Try some gentle massage with relaxing oils.
Have a variety of pillows and supports around to help support your back.
The positions you used before may not work for you now. Use the links suggested to consider and try out sexual positions you may not have tried before. This can be an unexpected source of fun and togetherness as you explore.
Take it slow and gentle though at all times and if pain does occur be prepared to back off and try again another day.
Try a warm shower or bath either alone or together before and after to warm up the muscles and relax your back.
Try some gentle massage with relaxing oils.
Have a variety of pillows and supports around to help support your back.
The positions you used before may not work for you now. Use the links suggested to consider and try out sexual positions you may not have tried before. This can be an unexpected source of fun and togetherness as you explore.
Take it slow and gentle though at all times and if pain does occur be prepared to back off and try again another day.
Sensual Massage To Share
Sensual massage - a good way to connect with your partner.
The Art of Sensual Massage
Amazon Price: $13.57 (as of 11/26/2009)
The Art of Sensual Massage (Book and DVD Set)
Amazon Price: $23.07 (as of 11/26/2009)
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Sensual Massage
Amazon Price: (as of 11/26/2009)
Anne Hooper's Ultimate Sexual Touch: The Lover's Guide to Sensual Massage
Amazon Price: (as of 11/26/2009)
Pamper Your Partner: An Illustrated Guide to Soothing and Relaxing Your Mate with the Sensual Healing
Amazon Price: (as of 11/26/2009)
When Sex Is Not Possible
When you are In too Much Back Pain to Make Love.
If you have back pain and sciatica or your partner does you will know that there are times you are in too much pain to contemplate lovemaking.
Often the same muscles involved in sex are the same ones involved in back pain. If you are unable to move very easily or moving gives you pain and spasms then making love is not going to be pleasurable for either of you.
Sometimes the nerves involved may reduce sensation and performance and arousal may suffer. It is important if there is numbness or lack of feeling in the "saddle area" or around the groin and genitals that you see a doctor.
If it is established that sex is too painful for your back there may be other things you wish to consider.
A gentle massage given by the person who does not have back pain can be very relaxing for both of you and help to reconnect. If your back or body is just too sore then even a gentle hand or foot massage can be a lovely experience.
Even if temporarily you cannot make love it is important to keep physical contact alive. Cuddling, kissing and touching each other is a beautiful way of expressing your love for each other.
It is very important that you communicate with your partner and that you understand each other. You may even wish to use a Pain scale 0 being no pain and 10 being excruciating pain to ensure that you are both talking the same language. You can make up your own or use mine.
Often the same muscles involved in sex are the same ones involved in back pain. If you are unable to move very easily or moving gives you pain and spasms then making love is not going to be pleasurable for either of you.
Sometimes the nerves involved may reduce sensation and performance and arousal may suffer. It is important if there is numbness or lack of feeling in the "saddle area" or around the groin and genitals that you see a doctor.
If it is established that sex is too painful for your back there may be other things you wish to consider.
A gentle massage given by the person who does not have back pain can be very relaxing for both of you and help to reconnect. If your back or body is just too sore then even a gentle hand or foot massage can be a lovely experience.
Even if temporarily you cannot make love it is important to keep physical contact alive. Cuddling, kissing and touching each other is a beautiful way of expressing your love for each other.
It is very important that you communicate with your partner and that you understand each other. You may even wish to use a Pain scale 0 being no pain and 10 being excruciating pain to ensure that you are both talking the same language. You can make up your own or use mine.
Explaining Pain
- Explaining Your Back Pain
- This is the scale I used to help explain my back and sciaitc pain when ever I needed to convey pain levels. Feel free to use it or make up your own.
To Love...
Quotes and poems about Love.
To love a person is to learn the song
That is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
When they have forgotten.
Anon
Love me without fear
Trust me without questioning
Need me without demanding
Want me without restrictions
Accept me without change
Desire me without inhibitions
For a love so free....
Will never fly away.
Dick Sutphen
The greatest weakness of most humans
Is their hesitancy to tell others,
How much they love them
While they're alive.
O.A. Battista
Educational Articles To Learn About Sex And Back Pain
Articles written by professionals and back pain sufferes about sex and back pain.
Articles which go into more depth about sex and back pain. Most are written by professionals.
Always consult your doctor if you are unsure if you should be considering sexual activity and particularly after a back pain operation or serious injury.
Always consult your doctor if you are unsure if you should be considering sexual activity and particularly after a back pain operation or serious injury.
- Sex And Back Pain
- "Sex and Back Pain" is an article written by Jerry Corners, MD. Back pain and sex don't go together very well and if you or your partner are among the 35 million people who have back pain, you know that back pain can disrupt your relationship. Sex is an important part of the intimacy between couples, and attitudes about sex, about rejection and about our self-image when we don't feel up to a sexual encounter can haunt a couple for a long time...
The article continues to discuss communication, psychological aspects of sex and back pain and some suggested positions. - Cure Back Pain. Back Pain Sex Article.
- Discusses how back pain can change your sex life emotional support during back pain sex, psychological back pain sex and recommendations.
- Chronic Back Pain And How It May Affect Sexuality
- A Patient education information leaflet which discusses how back pain affects sexuality. The guide was developed to help identify the ways pain may affect you sexually and to provide recommendations to help overcomew peoblems. Reviews aspects of sexuality, suggestions to follow and diagrams of sexual positions that may prevent or decrease low back pain.
- Sex positions For People With Back Pain
- Sex Positions for People with Back Pain
Find sex positions your back can tolerate and how to modify positions so that sexual activity does not bother your back. Conditions that cause back pain such as herniated disk, facet problems, arthritis of the spine and sacroiliac - si- joint instability can interrupt your enjoyment of sex. This section will help you find the sex positions that match your back conditon. - Spine Dr Sex and The Back
- If you or your significant other is suffering from back or neck pain, you know that sex is one of the first activities to be put at the bottom of the list of things to do. This is a very common problem and one that is infrequently discussed or written about for people with back or neck pain. The reasons for this closed mouth attitude are multiple. People who are suffering with it feel that they may be the only ones having the problem and therefore embarrassed to talk about it, even with the doctor. Some doctors do not feel comfortable with the subject, or may not even recognize it as a problem...
Article continues to discuss the emotional and psychological aspects of sexuality,physiological and anatomical and possible comfortable positions.
Quotes About Love Relationships.
Beautiful Quotes about Love Relationships
The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.
Maulana Jalalu'ddin Rumi
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Lao Tzu
Hand, Feet and Body Massage.
Massage for A Loving Touch.
![Comprehensive Reflexology & Massage: The Foot [VHS]](http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51419QZK9WL._SL75_.jpg)
Comprehensive Reflexology & Massage: The Foot [VHS]
Amazon Price: $39.95 (as of 11/26/2009)
Feet First: A Guide to Foot Reflexology
Amazon Price: $14.78 (as of 11/26/2009)
Massage Nerd: 100+ Foot / Hand Massage (Reflexology)
Amazon Price: (as of 11/26/2009)
How to Give the Perfect Foot Massage
Amazon Price: (as of 11/26/2009)
The Mental Part -Sex, Intimacy and Fear of Back Pain
Back Pain and Sex-self esteem.
You may be at the stage where you do not get back pain all the time or only certain things trigger it , but you may be also at the stage where you are fearful of doing anything which may bring on the pain. After all if its not here now you will not want to aggravate it!
Your partner may also be concerned about hurting you or that if you make love it may bring on a flare up of pain.
All this fear and worry sure takes the romance out of lovemaking.
Sometimes being in pain can affect the way you feel about yourself and some people suffer low self esteem, feel they are no longer desirable or even suffer depression which will affect the desire to have sex.
The best thing to do is not to put yourselves under pressure, to take everything slowly and easy and talk to each other.
Your partner may also be concerned about hurting you or that if you make love it may bring on a flare up of pain.
All this fear and worry sure takes the romance out of lovemaking.
Sometimes being in pain can affect the way you feel about yourself and some people suffer low self esteem, feel they are no longer desirable or even suffer depression which will affect the desire to have sex.
The best thing to do is not to put yourselves under pressure, to take everything slowly and easy and talk to each other.
"You may only be one person to the world
But you may also be the world to one person.
Anon"
Do Things To Make You Feel Sexy
Feeling Sexy is often the first step back to Intimacy and Lovemaking.
Back pain and sciatic pain can rob a person of feeling sexy and desirable. Back pain can make you feel unsure, unloved and insecure. You both need to understand and counter that.
If you are the one in pain then do things for yourself to make yourself feel attractive and romantic. Things like a great new haircut, an aromatic bath, new make up, new clothes, great aftershave..whatever makes you look and feel as good as you can.
If you are the partner then make your loved one feel a million dollars! Compliment them on how they look, tell them they smell nice, say how much you love them. Believe me it really matters!!
Never pressure for sex. Be supportive and loving, gentle and be there for them. Love is what trancends all that.
If you are the one in pain then do things for yourself to make yourself feel attractive and romantic. Things like a great new haircut, an aromatic bath, new make up, new clothes, great aftershave..whatever makes you look and feel as good as you can.
If you are the partner then make your loved one feel a million dollars! Compliment them on how they look, tell them they smell nice, say how much you love them. Believe me it really matters!!
Never pressure for sex. Be supportive and loving, gentle and be there for them. Love is what trancends all that.
Emotional Support During Back Pain.
- Courage In The Face Of Challenge
- Some inspirational quotes and some thoughts about coping with back pain.
- Coping With Anxiety Stress, Depression
- Link to Information about two books written by former sufferers of depression and anxiety. To understand and learn more from people who have been through anxiety and depression themselves click on this link to take a look at these e books. Stress, anxiety and depression can affect anyone who is coping with back pain.
- When Good Backs Go Bad
- Article about how to cope and some things to do, approaches to take if your Good Back went "Bad".
- Change Hopelessness To Happiness
- Reflections on back pain, being kind and gentle on yourself and compassion.
Lose The Back Pain
Lose The Back Pain System
"Lose the Back Pain" is produced by The Healthy Back Institute.
If you have not yet tried it and are looking around for a back pain solution do consider.
It is very important that you treat the symptoms and the cause of your back pain and sciatica symptoms. What ever you do you wll not find long term relief just treating the symptoms or masking the pain.
Just follow the link to gain more information.
If you have not yet tried it and are looking around for a back pain solution do consider.
It is very important that you treat the symptoms and the cause of your back pain and sciatica symptoms. What ever you do you wll not find long term relief just treating the symptoms or masking the pain.
Just follow the link to gain more information.
- Lose The Back Pain
- You wont know if you don't try...
If you would like to try a great stretching and strengthening system to help get rid of the back pain and sciatic pain symptoms follow the link to learn more.
The Lose the Back Pain system also includes helpful advice on pain relief strategies and access to a supportive and encouraging back pain forum.
Back Pain Relief Information Lenses
Feel Free to Visit these other lenses for more information and suggestions.
Please feel free to visit these other back pain lenses covering hints and tips to help cope with back pain, gardening with back pain, sleeping with sciatica and back pain and further detail on the Lose the back pain system.-
Back Care In The Garden
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Are you a gardener with back aches and pains? Sciatica troubling you ? How to enjoy your garden in spite of the back pain. I Love my garden. When I got back pain and sciatica I thought I would have to give gardening up forever. However, with a little...
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Back Pain Relief Without Tears, Your Way to a Healthy Back.
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Hey Is your back hurting? Do you have back pain or sciatic pain? Have you been diagnosed with a herniated, prolapsed or "slipped" disc? Do you want suggestions to cope with sciatica and lose the back pain? Coping with low back pain and sciatica was...
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Thank You Lose the Back Pain- Relief at last
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If you are now suffering from sciatic and/or back pain, you may well be asking What is "Lose the back pain" and why am I thanking it? You will discover as You read my personal review of Lose the back pain system. You have maybe trie...
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Coping With The Stress Of Back Pain
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Coping with back and sciatic pain can be a real strain emotionally as well as physically. Back pain can take its toll on so many areas of your life. I know it, I have been there. I would love to help you through what I learned. Here we explore actio...
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Jasmine ann's Lensography
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Come join me here and enjoy! I sincerely hope that you find my lenses useful and that they help you in some way. That alone would make me very happy :) I'm going to have to face it I am addicted to Squidoo!! When I first discovered Squid...
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Sleep Tips For Sciatic And Back Pain
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If you have back pain and sciatica symptoms a good nights sleep or indeed any adequate sleep may well feel like a distant dream.... It is bad enough getting through the days in pain, to only face the nights with pain. To me the nights were worse. Whe...
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Free Sciatica Resources
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Welcome to Free Sciatica Resources where I have compiled all my lenses on back pain and sciatica. I am also including additional information I found useful when I was suffering from sciatic and back pain, to support you in caring for your back. This...
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Driving With Sciatica
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Driving with sciatica can be so painful and difficult. If you live with Sciatica, coping with driving your car can be a challenge to say the least. After struggling to find what helped when driving with sciatic pain I want to share some hints and tip...
Life With My Pet Back Updates
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I hope you find the information here and in the links and books useful to you. If you liked this lens or it helped you please consider bookmarking on social sites. I appreciate that :)
Wishing you heath and happiness.
Nameste
submit
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Reply
- missbat missbat Jul 19, 2009 @ 3:50 pm
- A very interesting lens. Most informative, even for those of us who are fortunate not to suffer with back pain. Thanks for bringing this subject to light!
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Reply
- papawu papawu Apr 29, 2009 @ 3:25 pm
- A very fascinating lens. I must admit that I have been dealing with a great deal of back pain in the last few years after a car accident. Because of this, I have found that I am not as adventurous and aggressive in my sex life. It isn't the kind of pleasure and pain I think one looks for.lol.
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Reply
- JillianKareen JillianKareen Jun 27, 2008 @ 10:38 am
- You did a really nice job on subject that affects many people.
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Reply
- Barkely Barkely Feb 3, 2008 @ 10:26 am
- Very interesting stuff you have here.
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Reply
- KarenC KarenC Jan 28, 2008 @ 11:34 am
- This is a fantastic lens. I'm glad to see someone address these important issues. I love a lot of the books that you have on this lens. If I could I would have a lot more of them. Great job!!! 5 stars for sure!!!
Bookmark This Lens
Disclaimer
I am a recovering back pain sufferer and not a medical expert.This lens contains personal opinions that are not intended as medical advice. The contents are not intended to diagnose, treat or give a medical opinion.
The information here is no substitute for medical diagnosis and guidance. Consult a physician in all matters relating to health, particularly concerning any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. Never disregard medical advice, or delay or change treatment because of something you have read here. For assistance with back pain, or any other medical condition, always consult a qualified healthcare professional. Your health is your responsibility.
Please note while there are no explicit images on this page some of the links/books do contain more educational sexually descriptive content.
The information here is no substitute for medical diagnosis and guidance. Consult a physician in all matters relating to health, particularly concerning any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. Never disregard medical advice, or delay or change treatment because of something you have read here. For assistance with back pain, or any other medical condition, always consult a qualified healthcare professional. Your health is your responsibility.
Please note while there are no explicit images on this page some of the links/books do contain more educational sexually descriptive content.
by jasmineann
Jasmine ann started writing as a recovering backpain sufferer. Here you will find an electic mix of lenses reflecting her life, interests and her love... (more)
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