Intimacy and Back Pain
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Coping with Intimacy and Back Pain
This lens hopes to give some emotional and practical suggestions to those who have been affected by how back pain and sciatic pain has affected making love and to help rebuild intimacy in relationships.
I understand first hand that sex and back pain can often be a very delicate subject and I have tried to address it in a sensitive and practical manner that I hope will be of some support.
Please note while there are no explicit images on this page some of the links/books do contain more educational descriptive content of sensuality and intimacy.
How Back Pain Affects Relationships.
When you have back pain and sciatic pain often that sensual element of your relationship suffers.
This often has a negative effect on a persons self esteem and create misunderstandings and tension in a marriage or partnership. It may be a difficult and delicate subject to discuss with your doctor and with each other...
Communication Is Key To Coping With Intimacy And Back Pain Issues.
To Restore Intimacy Keep Talking...
Choose a time when you are both relaxed and without distractions and then just introduce how back pain has affected your love life and intimacy.
If you are the one with sciatic or back pain you need to explain how and why and when your back hurts and why the pain may reduce your desire or put you off sensuality altogether. Your partner needs to understand what is happening to you and how you feel.
Your partner also needs to have space and time to talk about his or her feelings about how back pain is affecting your love life and their feelings.
Sometimes the person with the bad back may feel upset,angry and afraid about the limits back pain is putting on their life, not just their love life but their whole life and be worried and may feel undesirable and insecure.
The partner may feel helpless, frustrated and unloved and not understand how perhaps you can still go to work but not make love...
It may even be helpful to print off some of the information from the links provided to help give a starting point for a discussion.
If you are feeling that you may want to try making love you will find that considering some of the suggested positions may help you both to see what is possible, even with a bad back.
If you are concerned about if you should make love with your back condition, or you are recovering from back surgery you should discuss with your doctor.
If you find it very embarrassing to talk with your doctor about it take in a written list of questions, once you have handed him or her the questions you will have started the discussion and it should get easier.
For many people the negative effect of back issues on a relationship is temporary. For others it will be something to deal with longer term. Back Pain may change the nature of your relationship with your partner but it doesnt mean it necessarily has to end forever...
“Love is a great master. It teaches us to be what we never were.”
Books To Help With Sex, Intimacy and Back Pain
Browse these books about back pain and restoring a comfortable sex life.
Red Flags and Back Pain
Consult a Doctor urgently if these back pain warning signs apply to you .
- Red Flags And Back Pain
- "Red Flags" or warning signs that you must consult with a healthcare professional as soon as you can.
These are important signs to familiarise yourself with and while most people will never have them you should be aware.
If you are concerned about if you should make love with your back condition, or you are recovering from back surgery you should discuss with your doctor.
Before, During And After Lovemaking
Things to try to reduce the possibility of back pain..
Try a warm shower or bath either alone or together before and after to warm up the muscles and relax your back.
Try some gentle massage with relaxing oils.
Have a variety of pillows and supports around to help support your back.
The positions you used before may not work for you now. Use the links suggested to consider and try out positions you may not have tried before. This can be an unexpected source of fun and togetherness as you explore.
Take it slow and gentle though at all times and if pain does occur be prepared to back off and try again another day.
Sensual Massage To Share
Sensual massage - a good way to connect with your partner.
When Intimacy Is Not Possible
When you are In too Much Back Pain to Make Love.
Often the same muscles involved in lovemaking are the same ones involved in back pain. If you are unable to move very easily or moving gives you pain and spasms then making love is not going to be pleasurable for either of you.
Sometimes the nerves involved may reduce sensation and performance and arousal may suffer. It is important if there is numbness or lack of feeling in the "saddle area" or around the groin and genitals that you see a doctor.
If it is established that lovemaking is too painful for your back there may be other things you wish to consider.
A gentle massage given by the person who does not have back pain can be very relaxing for both of you and help to reconnect. If your back or body is just too sore then even a gentle hand or foot massage can be a lovely experience.
Even if temporarily you cannot make love it is important to keep physical contact alive. Cuddling, kissing and touching each other is a beautiful way of expressing your love for each other.
It is very important that you communicate with your partner and that you understand each other. You may even wish to use a Pain scale 0 being no pain and 10 being excruciating pain to ensure that you are both talking the same language. You can make up your own or use mine.
Explaining Pain
- Explaining Your Back Pain
- This is the scale I used to help explain my back and sciaitc pain when ever I needed to convey pain levels. Feel free to use it or make up your own.
To Love...
Quotes and poems about Love.
To love a person is to learn the song
That is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
When they have forgotten.
Anon
Love me without fear
Trust me without questioning
Need me without demanding
Want me without restrictions
Accept me without change
Desire me without inhibitions
For a love so free....
Will never fly away.
Dick Sutphen
The greatest weakness of most humans
Is their hesitancy to tell others,
How much they love them
While they're alive.
O.A. Battista
Educational Articles To Learn About Intimacy And Back Pain
Articles written by professionals and back pain sufferes about sex and back pain.
Always consult your doctor if you are unsure if you should be considering lovemaking and particularly after a back pain operation or serious injury.
- Back Pain
- Article written by Jerry Corners, MD. Back pain and sex don't go together very well and if you or your partner are among the 35 million people who have back pain, you know that back pain can disrupt your relationship. Sex is an important part of the intimacy between couples, and attitudes about sex, about rejection and about our self-image when we don't feel up to a sexual encounter can haunt a couple for a long time...
The article continues to discuss communication, psychological aspects of sex and back pain and some suggested positions. - Cure Back Pain. Back Pain Sex Article.
- Discusses how back pain can change your love life emotional support during back pain sex, psychological back pain and recommendations.
- Chronic Back Pain And How It May Affect You
- A Patient education information leaflet which discusses how back pain affects sensuality. The guide was developed to help identify the ways pain may affect you and to provide recommendations to help overcomew peoblems. Reviews , suggestions to follow and diagrams of positions that may prevent or decrease low back pain.
- Positions For People With Back Pain
- Positions for People with Back Pain
Find positions your back can tolerate and how to modify positions so that activity does not bother your back. Conditions that cause back pain such as herniated disk, facet problems, arthritis of the spine and sacroiliac - si- joint instability can interrupt your enjoyment. This section will help you find the positions that match your back conditon. - Spine Dr The Back
- If you or your significant other is suffering from back or neck pain, you know that lovemaking is one of the first activities to be put at the bottom of the list of things to do. This is a very common problem and one that is infrequently discussed or written about for people with back or neck pain.
The reasons for this closed mouth attitude are multiple. People who are suffering with it feel that they may be the only ones having the problem and therefore embarrassed to talk about it, even with the doctor. Some doctors do not feel comfortable with the subject, or may not even recognize it as a problem...
Article continues to discuss the emotional and psychological aspects of sensuality,physiological and anatomical and possible comfortable positions.
Quotes About Love Relationships.
Beautiful Quotes about Love Relationships
The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.
Maulana Jalalu'ddin Rumi
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Lao Tzu
Hand, Feet and Body Massage.
Massage for A Loving Touch.
The Mental Part - Intimacy and Fear of Back Pain
Back Pain and intimacy-self esteem.
Your partner may also be concerned about hurting you or that if you make love it may bring on a flare up of pain.
All this fear and worry sure takes the romance out of lovemaking.
Sometimes being in pain can affect the way you feel about yourself and some people suffer low self esteem, feel they are no longer desirable or even suffer depression which will affect the desire to be romantic.
The best thing to do is not to put yourselves under pressure, to take everything slowly and easy and talk to each other.
“You may only be one person to the world
But you may also be the world to one person.
Anon”
Do Things To Make You Feel Romantic
Feeling Romantic is often the first step back to Intimacy and Lovemaking.
If you are the one in pain then do things for yourself to make yourself feel attractive and romantic. Things like a great new haircut, an aromatic bath, new make up, new clothes, great aftershave..whatever makes you look and feel as good as you can.
If you are the partner then make your loved one feel a million dollars! Compliment them on how they look, tell them they smell nice, say how much you love them. Believe me it really matters!!
Never pressure for lovemaking. Be supportive and loving, gentle and be there for them. Love is what trancends all that.
Free Back Pain Book
Emotional Support During Back Pain.
- Courage In The Face Of Challenge
- Some inspirational quotes and some thoughts about coping with back pain.
- Coping With Anxiety Stress, Depression
- Link to Information about two books written by former sufferers of depression and anxiety. To understand and learn more from people who have been through anxiety and depression themselves click on this link to take a look at these e books. Stress, anxiety and depression can affect anyone who is coping with back pain.
- When Good Backs Go Bad
- Article about how to cope and some things to do, approaches to take if your Good Back went "Bad".
- Change Hopelessness To Happiness
- Reflections on back pain, being kind and gentle on yourself and compassion.
Lose The Back Pain
Lose The Back Pain System
If you have not yet tried it and are looking around for a back pain solution do consider.
It is very important that you treat the symptoms and the cause of your back pain and sciatica symptoms. What ever you do you wll not find long term relief just treating the symptoms or masking the pain.
Just follow the link to gain more information.
- Lose The Back Pain
- You wont know if you don't try...
If you would like to try a great stretching and strengthening system to help get rid of the back pain and sciatic pain symptoms follow the link to learn more.
The Lose the Back Pain system also includes helpful advice on pain relief strategies and access to a supportive and encouraging back pain forum.
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
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Love to Hear From You.
I hope you find the information here and in the links and books useful to you. If you liked this lens or it helped you please consider bookmarking on social sites. I appreciate that :)
Please not e I do not allow spam and html is not working here.
Wishing you heath and happiness.
Nameste
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darciefrench
Feb 4, 2011 @ 3:04 pm | delete
- Good to discuss sexuality and any physical compromise one might face. Great lens!
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missbat
Jul 19, 2009 @ 3:50 pm | delete
- A very interesting lens. Most informative, even for those of us who are fortunate not to suffer with back pain. Thanks for bringing this subject to light!
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papawu
Apr 29, 2009 @ 3:25 pm | delete
- A very fascinating lens. I must admit that I have been dealing with a great deal of back pain in the last few years after a car accident. Because of this, I have found that I am not as adventurous and aggressive in my sex life. It isn't the kind of pleasure and pain I think one looks for.lol.
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Jun 27, 2008 @ 10:38 am | delete
- You did a really nice job on subject that affects many people.
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Barkely Feb 3, 2008 @ 10:26 am | delete
- Very interesting stuff you have here.
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- Load More
Disclaimer
The information here is no substitute for medical diagnosis and guidance. Consult a physician in all matters relating to health, particularly concerning any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. Never disregard medical advice, or delay or change treatment because of something you have read here. For assistance with back pain, or any other medical condition, always consult a qualified healthcare professional. Your health is your responsibility.
Please note while there are no explicit images on this page some of the links/books do contain more educational sexually descriptive content.
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Table of Contents
by jasmineann
Here you will find an eclectic mix of pages Jasmine ann has written reflecting her interests, life, health-including back issues, and her love of animals/nature... more »
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