Shades of Gay "Comes Out" For LGBTQ Suicide Prevention

Gavi came out as bisexual to me sometime in 2008. It wasn't until that summer that I learned she had another secret: she was suicidal. She often thought about ending her life and had even attempted to drown herself once in a friend's pool, stopping only because she didn't want her friend to have to take care of her body afterwards.

That summer was a struggle for both of us. I was one of the first people, if not the first, to completely accept her sexual orientation. I was also the one to hold her while she cried and pray that she didn't give in to suicidal impulses.

Slowly she began to accept herself, both through my acceptance of her and her own determination to overcome the suicidal feelings. She worked hard on self-acceptance in therapy and began to get better. But while I was encouraging her to be herself, some of our religious leaders at the synagogue we attended were dragging her back towards suicide, telling her that God wanted her to be straight and to overcome her same-sex urges so that she could be a testimony to others struggling with this "sin". After one such talk, she had the most intense suicidal urges she'd ever had. I ended up holding her and making her promise that she would tell me if she thought she might actually hurt herself so I could get her emergency help.

Over the next several months, the self-acceptance work Gavi was doing took hold for real and she was able to overcome the suicidal feelings at last. However, as she grew more self-confident, some members of her family rejected her. When she realized she felt more comfortable as a woman two years later, she faced new challenges from her family. However, she is now determined to be herself and inspires other Transgender people to do so as well through her blog about her experiences (http://gavigirl.wordpress.com)

Shades of Gay is written in honor of all the people like Gavi who struggle with suicidal impulses because of who they are. In addition to donating to the Trevor Project, a substantial amount of profits will be used to help Gavi get the hormones and surgery she needs to complete her transition to her satisfaction.