Shirker John Leprechaun esquire

I am no shirker, once I've been fairly trapped. Unless I can get some pixies to open this lock. It's not my fault, this reputation as a shirker follows me like a curse.

No pixies around when you need them. Hate the touch of steel. I'm trapped.

It's like this. I can't exist.

My dad is a leprechaun, and no less moral than any of the wee folk. He played a bit too long in Hiroshima gathering gold, it upset his genetics something fierce. He got close to this Shee, as drunk on his gold as the Troll brewe he was drowning her sidhe backside in; and the obvious happened. What happened afterward was frankly impossible, me. High Elves and Chauns don't match up, and they certainly can't have kids.

I was had. They still claim to be in love, in spite of me. (almost said in sprite of me, but no one loves good humor anymore)

The only good thing is I'm not like either of them, no funny ears, no tinny laugh, about average hight if I were a short life like you, and little magic - at least magic I can control. Everybody in the hidden kingdoms knows about me, I'm a source of constant gossip. That's why I can't get rid of this stupid name, Shirker John. Usually said in curses, like "that #2%&^$&*% Shirker spirited out just when things got tough," "yeah," "again."

It's not my fault. It's not, it's not, it... OK. Hold on. Deep breath.

It's like this, Chauns can brew up a bit of relocation if they have time and a willingness to work. For me and my weird genes, it's the opposite. If I'm willing to work, as soon as something goes wrong, poof I'm outa there. They think I'm shirking, but really, I'd love to fight those giants with them. Nope. My residual magic says no and I go poof.

Most of you short lives have been easy to convince other dimensions don't exist. Some of you even fight belief in the spiritual dimension, and its evidence is all around and within you. Sure It's hard to believe me, your mamas and professors taught you not to believe in folks of the hidden kingdoms. We like that. You don't know what it's like to have treasure hunters and romantics on your tail all the time.

It's not like you guy's are hard to fool. We slip something into a text book, your next generation of teachers believes it. They teach it to the next generation. Your lives are so short most of you never learn to think for yourselves. Even your governments know how to lie through textbooks. We just help them a bit.

Governments. That's why you should believe. 'Cause your prince and his governors believe, at least a few smart ones.

None of us would consort regularly with short lives. To join your government, ha. Why would we give up our freedoms just to rob a few more humans of their freedoms. You do well enough to yourselves. Someone comes along and says "I can make decisions about your life better than you can make decisions about your life," and you say, "Sure."

Sure, and the Sidhe and the Chaun have their royalty, but that's trap enough; for to be the hidden kingdoms they must be havin' hidden kings and queens. You would think long lives would be long enough, without adding unnecessary responsibilities. Governance means work, even if it's mainly just an honor amongst unrestricted equals.

You don't think some in your government believe in us, know we exist? So how come I'm hanging from the ceiling in a cage of steel, with a lock of steel on the door? Doesn't that seem a bit "cruel and unusual," why put the Green Beret to watching me, in Fort Knox?

Your generals thought they caught me - cause they baited the trap - by shipping in more gold. Really, I came back to explain where they could find the other gold. They haven't given me a chance to explain, just left me hanging here for the next president. That way they can say "Of course we know how much gold belongs in Fort Knox, we don't need an audit." They don't know where that lovely room full of warm gold is, but they know where I am.

They know how much should be here, less the samples each administration takes. Little folk don't bother with embezzlement like you big folk. Nah, little guys steal stuff outright.

I don't get burned by steel like my mom does, but it makes me real uncomfortable to touch it. That's the real reason I'm hanging from the ceiling in a cold steal cage, with a cold steel lock on the door.

Just a misunderstanding. Like I said, sometimes I poof. It's just coincidence the treasury's gold poofed with me. I'll give it back. Or split it with you, if you can get me past these Iron bars so I can poof us to where it's hidden.

Sure and you can trust me; Would a High Elf lie?

We enter Shirker John's web fiction universe here.

These links will take you directly to his stories, each in its own lens, skipping back-story elements and all those quotes.


Prologue - top of this page.

Chapter 1 - Caught By The Leprechaun King

Chapter 2 - we start immediately, after the party

Chapter 3 - Final preparations, hopefully not that kind

Chapter 4 - of feisty leprechauns and fearsome giants

Chapter 5 - Her Elvish la te da ness, Ellse The First

Shirker John told me he wants better writers than me if he is going to leave his current adventures to tell about past adventures. The next story will have to wait until you have read the foundational chapters and decide to improve on the style. A prospective next story according to Shirker John:

Chapter 6 - Chrono Voyaging with a Steampunk Leprechaun

A Special Treat!

Alma Joy Galvez has started a children's leprechaun story featuring our flexible John. "When I was little I always dreamed of writing stories with fairies, dragons, elves and other magical creatures but it has always been a dream." Go ahead and enjoy starting the fulfillment of her dream with her.

A new story - a leprechaun, a child, and a pot of gold





Big Arrows like these will follow each chapter to direct you to the next chapter. Each lens contains supportive material, but you can read the story straight through without it. Skip past the intro and first stick it note on each page, and you are reading the continuing story of Complicit Simplicity.

Time is a difficult concept for leprechauns, who tend to think in measurements like "a lot of time" or "A little time." Particularly at first, Shirker John may be a wee bit early or late. "Once a week, every Friday, what kind of exacting slavery is this?"

John may have a valid point.

Meet John, than use your own time line.

We will have new stories added to this list as you write them, or leave ideas in the guest book for other writers. John is heading out to live true life leprechaun adventures until then. Updates are now flexible with demand. Perhaps an eBook will work. Hmmm . . .

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All direct income from my Squidoo lenses goes to micro-finance solutions for world poverty provided by the Grameen Foundation. The Grameen Foundation is creating a rising tide of positive influence upon our world.



"Our knowledge is so limited, our abilities seem so inadequate, most people see themselves as small insects - They cope by being serious about whatever crack in the sidewalk they were born into. Ignoring limitless potential within a wondrous world, they cling to the security of their limited crack. Crawl out of the crack, take a few steps down the sidewalk, then decide where you want to fly." - Allan Wallace




Integrity Matters
Real business people still honor a handshake.