Short Jokes

What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup? Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!

Why don't aliens eat clowns. Because they taste funny.

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? el-if-i-no

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

Where does the one legged waitress work? Ihop

Did you hear about hte new French tank? Yeah, It has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes foreward incase the enemy attacks from behind.

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Damn

A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hay , could I get a beer please" The barthened looks at him shacking his head and says "We don't serve food here."

How do you know if your a red neck? You go to the family reunon to find a date!

Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to a party? Because he was a party pooper.

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.

How do you save a drowning lawyer? Take your foot off his head.

Yo mama's so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon.

How can you tell if a redneck is married? There is tobacco spit stains on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.