Silly Signs of Life

1. You can't remember your name (even with a few hints from Big Bird).

2. You're up a stream without a canoe, a paddle or a six-pack of beer.

3. You start a sentence with the words, "I know you'll think I'm crazy but...".

4. You're wearing two different colored socks (which is bad enough), but polishing your white sneakers with black shoe polish is really going too far.

5. You're eating a very juicy hamburger loaded with onions, mushrooms, bacon, cheese, lettuce, two big dill pickles and topped with a giant tomatoe slice and a sprig of parsley.

6. Your spouse to be does not show up for the big gig at the church (where all your family, friends and big wigs from work are waiting naturally).

7. Your car begins to hop, skip and jump, (and your foot isn't even on the gas).

8. You receive an e-mail invitation to your own pink slip party (signed, "Yours affectionately, 'The Hatchet Man'").

9. Your boss signs you up for a new professional development course called "Dragon Slaying 101" (and you're allergic to rubber swords not to mention things that go bleep in the night!)

10. Your long-lost relatives arrive at your home in their rusty five-wheeler with five feisty freaks in tow who haven't had a bath in a month, a pet iguana named "Petunia", and a moose tied to the roof.

Welcome to "Conundrum Corner"!

Just when you think you've got life all figured out, you're greeted with another gift of chaos, crisis, and confusion!!

Lesson 42: If you want to find your way on the "Yellow Brick Road" of life, make sure you've got a map, you're carrying a pocket GPS, and you're in the company of a Tin Man, a Scarecrow, and Lion!

And, when all else fails, click your shoes twice and pray to God you can find your way back home to the blessed cornfields of Kansas!