Simple Golf

Wouldn't it be great if there was a simple way to be a better golfer?  I hate this game. Yet every time I get the chance I am out on the course, on the driving range or even worse yet, playing INDOOR GOLF!  They round always started like this...

"two off the first?'

"Sure."

So I go over, tee the ball up. 

As I line up the shot   (who am I kidding, I have now freaking clue where this damn ball is going)

I take a couple of practice swings  (again a crock, because neither of my prctice swings will match what accually happens when I swing at the ball)

THWAAACK!  The ball takes OFF!!!  oh no... it's turning..  (YELL AT IT!)

"HANG ON, HANG ON.. TURN OVER..  HOLD YOU LINE.. STAY UP!" 

I yell at the ball like it's not doing what I told it to.  (I don't speak golf ball language)  The fact of the matter is that the stupid ball (all on it's own...)  flew about 150 yards off the tee and then turned left so hard it left skid marks.
I act as though it was something that I KNEW I did wrong, when in fact I have no flipping clue why that ball just did that or if it is even physically possible for a ball to do that.

I'll take my second tee shot offered me.  Now smart money is to try to take a 4 iron or something close to that and knock one out there in play so as to not waste the freebie you were just given.  NOT ME!  I am aware of what i did wrong on that first drive (riiiight) and needed to warm up a bit.

THWAAAACK! 

Do you have any idea how fast a golf ball must be spinning in order to make a MORE than 90 degree turn in mid air?  I Don't either, but I could make it happen.  I sometimes thought if I hit it just a little harder I could probably get that ball to come all the way back to the damn tee box!

2 in the woods..  "I'll drop up there!"

Sound familiar?