Simplify Your Life and Find Balance

I have been a workaholic as long as I can remember. In the early days of my career, it was about working hard to obtain success. The only problem with that is that you get into a viscious cycle that is hard to stop. My first marriage was one where it was frankly easier to work than to spend time working on the relationship. Work became a great escape.

When you are in a cycle of being a workaholic, it's a tough one to break. You convince yourself that you have to do it all because nobody else will. And the work is never done. It piles up and piles up and no matter how hard you work, there's still more to do. In the end, you feel like your entire life has been overtaken with the JOB and life feels just like this picture looks.

When I went to Barbados to live, I really wasn't sure what to expect. What I found is people who know how to work hard, get a lot done in the time they work, and then let it all go and relax. After about three weeks there, I found myself looking at the clock and realizing it was 9:00 at night on a Saturday and I had not worked at all that day, not even to look at email. That was unheard of and it had probably been 10 years since I could say that. I had spent the day reading a book, doing some laundry, taking a nap, and just relaxing. It felt so right that I did it again the next day.

It's hard to not relax in Barbados. This view of the sea was one I saw every day on my way to work. It was a great reminder of how blessed I was to live in such a beautiful place. There is something calming about the Caribbean Sea. No time could be better spent, for me, than sitting on the beach with a good book and listening to the waves roll in. I found that it was a great de-stresser.

What I also learned while there was the value of family and friends and the importance of prioritizing things in life. Family is so important there, and it is often the grandparents who raise, or at the very least, help raise the children. At the time, I had lived away from my family for 10 years and I found myself missing all of those things and not living closer to where they are. Now, I am happy to say I live right in the same town. Still, it was during this time in Barbados that I reconnected and rekindled those family.

Life is not about things. That was one big important lesson. When I moved, I only took clothes and a few of my kitchen items and books. I worried about how I would get by without the other things I had always had in my house, and what would I do if I didn't have all of those fancy appliances, etc.? I did take a couple of pictures. But really that was it. And you know what? I really didn't miss it. I learned that life can be just wonderful without so much clutter in the house. I learned that it was much easier to not have clutter if you didn't have so many things. Now that I'm back in the States, I am trying to stay focused on that and keep things simple here as well.

While there, I also met the man I would later marry, a wonderful Rastafarian, whose outlook on life completely balances me. He is very much a laid back, not to worry because God always makes it right, kind of guy, a great balance to my worry if it's not all done personality. I learned to make the time in my life again to have a relationship and let it grow. I am so thankful for that lesson as I believe I have the world's most wonderful husband and I am truly blessed to have him.

In this journey of the last two years, one of the best books I have purchased is Zen to Done by Leo Babauta. It teaches you ways to become productive, and yet simplify your life. I also would recommend his Zen Habits for Life Handbook. These two tools were a great help for me along the way and one I would suggest you get and read if you're looking for ways to make life simpler!

So what really was the end result of all of this search for simplicity and balance? I am more relaxed than I ever used to be. Sometimes I think my family scratches their head wondering what happened to the person they used to know. I no longer take a ton of muscle relaxants to sleep at night because my back and shoulders hurt. I don't have stock anymore in the antacid companies! :) Not too long ago, I was laid off from my job, and yet I am not stressing over that. It is what it is. Life is exciting, and I look forward to every day. I am thankful every single day for the life I live. And that has made all the difference.

My husband has a saying "it is what it is." When someone asks him how he is or how his day was, his response is always "I am blessed." What a wonderful way to look at life. Take a minute in life to realize you cannot control everything and stop trying. It only makes life hard. When we do that, we don't see the beauty that is around us to enjoy. it's always there, you just have to stop and look. My hope for you is that you do do just that, figure out what's really important to you in life, and take some time to relax and unwind.