A Lens On Parenting From My Perspective - A Single Dad
I've been mulling around the concept for a blog/lens on parenting, from the perspective of a single dad, for quiet awhile and in fact I did create a blog called The Single Dad where I post the information I have posted here. I've found that I don't post as often on this subject, maybe because it takes more out of me to write something personal.
How to Survive being a Single Dad is really about my experiences raising my son. I became a Single Dad when he was 2 yrs. old and he turned 18 this April, so you can imagine I have a few stories. I'm going to change things up a little on the lens and start including the RSS feed from my blog, of course I'll have to once again start posting on the blog. Hopefully my stories will help others understand that life can still be very joyful even after a divorce or the loss of a spouse. So come back again and see what I've posted. Hopefully the posts will be of interest or help other Single Dad's and Single Mom's out there.
Daily Feed From my Single Dad Blog
Stories from my experience
Check back often for updates from my blog. Subscribe to the Single Dad Blog Feed
Fetching RSS feed... please stand byIt's Father's Day
Mom's House, Dad's House: Making Two Homes for Your Child
To all of the single dad's out there and of course you married fathers as well, please take this day to reflect on your relationship with your kids. While they will be reaching out to you to celebrate your role in their life take a few moments to hug them and let them know they are loved.
Have a great day!
Featured Parenting Lenses
More great parenting resources.
I thought I would highlight some of the other great Squidoo lenses for parents.-
Parenting Teens and Tweens
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Are you parenting a teen or tween? Not sure what to do? I'm not going to tell you how to parent your kid. They vary even more drastically from each other than toddlers do. But I can tell you how I'm parenting mine. And it definitely does NOT involve...
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We Are Fathers - Dads
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A lens for Fathering. Love. Determination. Dedication. Perserverence. These are the qualities you will need to be a good father. Also being silly once in awhile :)
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Teach Your Baby Sign Language With Nikki
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Did you know that your baby can perform sign language as early as 7 months old? You should start signing to your baby as early as 6 months so the baby can begin to learn and communicate with you. Baby's Benefits Your baby can communicate his/her wants...
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Unique & Fun Kids Theme Birthday Party Ideas & Supplies
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A Grandmother's Love
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To all grandmothers, whose wisdom, courage and love have paved the path for future generations - we thank you! Grandmother-grandchild relationships are simple. Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love. -- Author Unknown A Grandmother is s...
Why Looking at my Son's Baby Pictures made me Want More Kids!
The Single Dad's Survival Guide: How to Succeed as a One-Man Parenting Team
I was moving some things, at the house, the other day and came across some of my son's baby pictures. It had been a very long time since I had seen them. I stopped what I was doing and took some time to go through them, which brought a growing smile to my face. Those pictures were so funny and cute I almost cried - no kidding. I think it was more emotional for me because I'm approaching the empty nest and my testosterone level must be a little low right now also, there wasn't one picture of me having to diaper my son, or take the midnight feeding, or drive him around in the car to get him to go to sleep - there were only cute, funny, no effort photos.
So, before I actually came to my senses, my mind started to wander and I began to think about how much fun it would be to have little kids again I even asked my son if I got remarried would he have a problem with me having more kids -- that is a problem I have, I often speak before I think. My son's answer quickly brought me back to reality, "if you had another kid today you would be 63 years old when they were 16" he said "and you aren't even dating anyone right now." He then followed that with, "I would have no problem at all with you having more kids, but come on use your head." Can you tell we have a close relationship?
As I was telling this story to an old girlfriend of mine - remember I have a problem speaking without thinking - she gave me the answer I was looking for, "that's what grandkids are for" she said "we can love them, spoil them and then give them back".
Of course she was right. Maybe I should have titled this post "That's why God gives us Grandkids."
All About Dad's
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New Dad Infant/Toddler T-Shirt
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The Single Parent and the Empty Nest!
How to Survive and Thrive in an Empty Nest: Reclaiming Your Life When Your Children Have Grown
You see I'm not his first stop when he needs a good meal or his clothes washed and since he's making good money I'm not even getting asked for cash anymore. In fact he even offered to pay for dinner the other night, so it appears I am much less needed these days and soon I may not see him very much at all. This isn't sitting well with me.
Most guys, I would think, look forward to the day the kids leave the house because it takes a little pressure off of them and they can start to enjoy themselves a little more. Moms of course don't traditionally handle the empty nest very well and I'm expecting his Mom to have some difficulty with it. What surprises me is how I'm reacting. He has been such a huge part of my life and since I am not currently married or seriously dating I'm thinking I may actually get a little lonely.
I'm not going to stress out about it right now. I still have some time before he moves out but I think I may need to start planning my future a little. I've avoided serious dating relationships over the years because I didn't want to complicate things with him - that is a topic for another post - maybe now is the time I should start looking for someone to spend my twilight years with - I think that scares me more then the empty nest. Yes, I have issues!
Discipline and the Single Parent!
I'm not going to make any judgments about spanking in this post because methods of discipline are a parental decision. First off, reasonable people can differentiate spanking from beating a child and "Timeouts" are very effective for some children. My brother and I came from a household that used spanking as discipline. I don't actually remember seeing my brother ever spanked but I got it a couple of times (and rightfully so). As young parents though we used different methods to discipline our children. I had to spank my son 2 times by the time he was 4 years old. The reason I remember it was because it hurt me to do it. From the time he was four I never had to spank him again. You see "Timeouts" wouldn't work with my son, he enjoyed sitting in his room alone. My brother on the other hand used "Timeouts" because his children responded very well to that form of discipline. Now, many years later, his two kids and my son are all very well adjusted, respectful young adults. Parents need to treat their kids as individuals and discipline them when necessary with whatever method works best.
I'm no expert on this subject, but in my case because I clearly explained the rules and boundaries to my son and followed through with discipline that I explained would happen he quickly understood breaking the rules was counter-productive. Certainly, as kids get older the methods of discipline change. As they grow older it often is more effective to take away something that is of value to them, setting boundaries with clearly explained consequences is effective. What doesn't work though is setting up rules that you won't make stick. If kids don't feel there will be any consequences to their actions no amount of yelling and threatening will work.
However you decide to discipline your child do it because you love them and want
My Little Boy is all Growed Up!
The Single Dad's Survival Guide: How to Succeed as a One-Man Parenting Team
Wow, has time just flown by?! Questions started popping into my head. Did I teach him enough about life? I'm sure I overlooked something, what was it? Why is my toenail black and blue? I came to the realization that I did what I knew how to do at the time. I passed on the lessons I had learned from my dad and made some adjustments and he's turned out to be a happy, responsible, well-adjusted and employed kid. I shouldn't stress about it. I've still got a couple of more years before he goes away to college so I should just soak it all in.
Profile of this Single Dad
It's a struggle sometimes being a single dad
Live-away Dads: Staying a Part of Your Children's Lives When They Aren't a Part of Your Home
We had joint custody and agreed that if at all possible we would live within 15 miles of each other. We also decided that we would trade off having him each week rather then the traditional weekends and holidays. This was one of the best decisions we ever made, because it forced both of us to be parents. I didn't want to be just the cool weekend dad. I needed to be part of his life during the week when schoolwork and daily living needed to get done, etc. That didn't mean I stopped being a guy (to this day he still eats much healthier at his mom's). It also provided him with some stability.
The key to making this work has always been that we put his needs in front of our own. That has made all the difference. There is an old saying that "it takes 2 to make a good marriage" I think the same goes for divorce, especially if you have kids. If you are both willing to think of the kids first, they can have a stable and fulfilling childhood and before I forget, much credit goes to Jameson's mom for the sacrifices she made. She turned down 2 very well paid promotions because she didn't want to move him away from me. I owe her a debt of gratitude.
In the future I'll try and sprinkle in some funny stories to lighten the mood. My son and I share a rather unique sense of humor. Hopefully you will think its funny too.
Let me know what you think?
Thanks for stopping by!
Vote for How To Survive Being a Single Dad at Lensroll.com
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Reply
- divorcingsurvival divorcingsurvival Dec 11, 2009 @ 12:51 am
- Support groups also can offer a wealth of know-how on dealing with the adjusted financial circumstances that you may find yourself in. Often support groups will encourage you to take the counsel and representation of a lawyer to guarantee that your legal rights are fully protected.
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Reply
- divorcingsurvival divorcingsurvival Dec 10, 2009 @ 11:39 pm
- Remaining positive is very hard but very important when facing divorce, take one day at a time, affirm to yourself that you are strong and have the will power to get through this and in time you will.
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Reply
- singledadblog singledadblog Nov 29, 2009 @ 2:02 pm
- Excellent material...I am just starting out down the road of being a single dad. i have had my 3 year old son for the last year and a half and now I am trying to share my experiences also on my blog. http://singledadblog.com
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Reply
- mommysolutions mommysolutions Nov 8, 2009 @ 12:01 am
- Nice Lens. Single parenting is always a challenge. 5 stars.
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Reply
- Peter Peter Jul 29, 2009 @ 8:40 pm
- Top site. i have started one today. My life journy from the day my son was born, I'm adding a link from my site to yours as i think your is awesome, I'mnot asking you to link mine. just wanted to say to all the single dads . keep your chins up and do what is best for your kids. I went to the lockup 7 times in one year and was NEVER charged with anything.
Keep up the good work and maybe check my blog if you like. Im only starting it today
single-father-story
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