Situation Alchemy

When you are making the best of something, no matter how bad it is, it's got to get better. And as it gets a little better, and you still make the best of it, it's got to get better. And as it's still not very good, but you're making the best of it--it's got to get better.
~Abraham-Hicks

The practiced Situation Alchemist knows that sometimes it will take time to make a situation into a golden opportunity. The goal here is not to put a happy smiley face on the situation and pretend you feel different about it then you truly do. The goal IS to actually change how you feel about the situation. Sometimes, maybe even most of the time, that takes a little bit of time.

The world around us, including our bodies, responds to what we think, how we feel, what we believe and even who we are on a subconscious level. We always have a choice to respond to circumstances as a victum, blaming things outside of ourselves or we can take responsibility and realize that we played a role in what happened.

An alchemist always recognizes that there is personal responsibility in any situation and that their own personal power rests in that realization. Once responsibility is taken, then it is just a short hop to seeing that there is a wonderful nugget of gold created by what just happened.

Frank got laid off from his job. He could feel victimized and worry about the future but instead he realizes that he really didn't like his job (his part in losing his job) and that this is his opportunity to find one he likes better.

Sally got caught in traffic and it took her far longer then she wanted to get home. She could have chosen to be upset however instead she decided to believe that there was a good reason for her to be late. Sally's main intention on her drive home was to remain safe and so it seemed to her that perhaps she missed an accident by being held up.

These are both the choices of a Situation Alchemist. Because Frank and Sally chose to take responsibility for what happened and to see the golden opportunity, they are both far happier in their circumstances.

From Abraham-Hicks:

Make peace with wherever you stand. And here's the most important part: When you feel despair, or anything that doesn't feel good, and you reach for a thought that feels better, what comes right along with that is a conscious awareness that you do have some control of your experience. And friends, we cannot emphasize enough the importance of that conscious awareness that you can do something about the way you feel.

When you choose a thought that feels better than the thought that you were choosing before, and you consciously acknowledge that you had the power to choose it, and that you did choose it, and that it did change your vibrational frequency- now, there's no place you cannot go. Now, that cloud of despair, that cloud of not being able to control your own experience goes away.
~Abraham-Hicks

Since the outside world is responding to how we think, feel, believe and are; the worse the situation, the more important it is to Alchemize it.

Situation Alchemy is about shifting your perception so that you can think, feel and believe differently so the outside world can respond with a more positive situation. Among the ill it is those who find something to be happy about that are most likely to recover. Someone who is upset about just loosing their job will find it difficult to find another. Someone whose primary relationship is on the rocks, will have a far easier time finding a resolution if they are happy enough they can see straight.

Yes it is harder to Alchemize a Situation if it is of extreme importance; however it is very possible with time and practice and very much worth the effort.

If you find yourself in a situation you can't easily alchemize, call a friend, tell them what your situation is, that you need to work through, how you feel and that you ultimately want to find the golden nugget. Understand that for some situations, this may take a few hours over a course of days or even weeks. Keep at it and if you can, enlist the help of your friend for as long as it takes. (You can always hire a coach for this postion if you want more privacy!)

Talk about your situation exactly as you feel about it, long enough to be able to see it clearly. Do your absolute best to avoid over dramatization of your circumstance. This will only serve to add power to what you are trying to move away from.

Until you have explored how you are actually feeling and presently see your situation, you run the risk of trying to pretend you feel the golden nugget when you are still harbouring anger or some other kind of pain.

Once you have reached some clarity, begin to explore the part you played in the situation - take responsibility. I once heard from a healer friend about a woman who was loosing her eyesight without any apparent cause. When the woman finally started taking responsibility, she recognized that any time she heard about something she thought was unpleasant, she would say, 'I don't want to see that.' As soon as she took responsibility for the role she played in her own situation, the situation corrected itself.

Once you have taken responsibility, it is time to start turning the situation into gold. What did you gain or learn from the situation? What is the advantage you experienced because of the situation? In the example above, the woman had learned that her power over her own life was absolute. That's quite a gift don't you think?

The passing of my father on April 13th lead me to considering our relationship which really wasn't much of a relationship at all. It's a relationship I have been working to apply (and succeeded)situation alchemy to for many years so when I wrote my thoughts down I thought I would post it here so the readers of my lens could experience that journey with me. I hope it serves someone. :-)

In loving memory of my father, James Herbert McCarthy July 2 1939 - April 13 2008

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The phone rang today, it was Mom to tell me of your passing. The news saddened me and in all honesty, I had finished mourning you long ago. Learning of your death caused me to start reminiscing about you, the lessons I learned because of you and how what I felt about you has changed so much over the years. I decided to write this down so that I would remember in years to come.

When I was a little girl, I just loved my Daddy. There wasn't a greater soul in all the land. The day did come when you decided to head off on an entirely different journey and you left me behind. For a very long time I was extremely angry with you and with me. I couldn't figure out what I did that could have been so very terrible that you would leave me like that.

Eventually though - when I was 30 something - I remembered how much I loved my Daddy and I decided to carry that with me instead of all the hurt. There came a time when I realized that I had a choice to make: I could either help you continue your tradition of anger and bitterness or I could love you for the beauty that resides deep in all of us. Because of your choices and my choices, I learned how to let go and how to go on loving someone in spite of the circumstances. This valuable life lesson has served me many times over and will serve me often in the future.

I also learned through that experience that I could do it for myself. I didn't need my Daddy or anyone else to tie my shoes. When you left, you declared me a big girl and it just took me a little while to step up to the task. I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't have become the self empowered, forward thinking, optimistic woman that I did, without you.

The pain you must have felt Daddy, I can't even imagine. It must have been something though to cause you to make the choices you did. Even when I knew you, you were always sad inside. When I was small I had a difficult time understanding why you were so sad - after all, you had a little girl like me%u2026

Now that I am all grown up, I still can't understand the specifics of who you were or why you were so sad. I know you didn't like yourself much. I understand that whatever it was, it was just a lie you told yourself. It was easy for me to forgive your absence once I understood that you just got a little bit lost. We all get lost sometimes. Then again, I also trust that that was all part of the plan.

You chose a difficult role in my life. I want to thank you for that, it must have been really hard and yet, you lived up to the agreements we made before we came here. You gave me every opportunity to go forward without the habit of clinging to an anchor.

We are each the sum total of what we think we are and the choices we make. You had the strength to come here and be an example to me of what the outcome might be if we aren't careful how we see ourselves and what choices we make. For that, you are my hero.

I love you for the gifts you gave me. I remember you giving me my first radio at 4 and staying up late with you watching rock music programs - you taught me to love music. I remember the summers camping in the north - you taught me to love nature. I remember the long drives to no where and every where - you taught me to love my mobility. I remember you teaching me to play baseball, how to fish and how to laugh - you were always so very funny though I don't think you even knew that.

Truly, if it wasn't for you Daddy, I wouldn't be who I am today. What an amazing gift you gave me when you agreed to participate in a piece of my journey. I regret none of it for if any of it was any different, the outcome would also be changed.

You never loved yourself enough but that's ok, I love you enough for both of us. You have been and will always be missed.

Be well Daddy. I'll see you again sometime.