Personalizing Your Wedding and a Smart Honeymoon Registry

Honeymoon registries are in vogue now and for good reason. Couples are waiting longer to get married than ever. They'll often have most of the items from a traditional registry and are forced to only upgrade. Couples too have always craved a special connection with their guests and, with the proliferation of honeymoon registries, have found that easier than ever. If you want that extra touch of personalization, then maybe the honeymoon registry is right for you. As you get underway, here are a few ideas to keep in mind. Your registry should reflect your personalities. We can't stress enough how much more your guests will appreciate a registry that sounds like you. We've thrown in some tips on respectfully spreading the word about your registry in #10. For our all-inclusive honeymooners, we dedicate #8 to you.

1. If you're the outdoorsy types, then don't forget to plan events like horseback riding, snorkeling, boating, parasailing and swimming with the dolphins. Put them on your registry because guests love these. Be specific about them too: "We'll boat to Molokini Crater for an afternoon of snorkeling!" is better than just "Snorkeling".

2. Like to eat? Don't we all, but your honeymoon is a time to really do it up, so let that show. Mention restaurants by name or the type of cuisine in the title: "Dinner by candlelight at Gramercy Tavern" is better than just "Dinner." You probably won't want to plan all your meals in advance, so you'll have to be a little more general with some. Try "We'll Dine on the Beach" and mention the sand between your toes in the description. Or name whose choice it'll be for a dinner on a whim.

3. Nightlife is another big honeymoon expense and your guests who enjoy their own nightlife will just love these. Do a little research and find out where you'll go out and what people drink there: Is there a house specialty? Some of these are easier than others. If you're in Cancun, then "Margaritas at Laguna Grill" is a winner rather than "Drinks". You can also specify times, like "A Bottle of Wine at Sunset" will do the trick for a great add-on gift.

4. Airfare may be your biggest expense. It is usually close family members that make a dent in this one, mainly because it's hard to personalize. Rather than "Contribution to Airfare", it's a good idea to break up the trip into time or miles in the air. So "400 Miles in the Air" might cost $125. If you want to get even more personal and you know your guests will like it, try something like "One Inglenook and one in-flight magazine in the sky" as a description (you may not have room in the title.) You probably don't want to have a quantity of 8 or 10 for that, lest your guests picture you arriving at your honeymoon destination loaded. You can also put a Getting to... as an item near the beginning of your registry and a Getting Home... at the end. That way you can break this big expense in half.

5. Your hotel is another big budget category. Usually you'll want to break this down into one-night stays. "A night in our Ocean-Front Villa", followed by a personal description like "We're staying at Nirvana on the Beach in Negril with the ocean nearly at our door! The sun sets directly across the water!" If you're staying in luxury accommodations, then it's ok to break it up into two categories, like the "One night in New York" and an "Upgrade to the Suite" type items, each for half the cost of a night's stay, especially if you're having a relatively small wedding. Expecting to sell out of 14 $400 hotel room items with just 80 guests might mean you haven't put enough meals and activities on your registry.

6. There are plenty of miscellaneous items to remember too. Rather than "Suntan Lotion and other beach stuff", go with "Save our Skin!" and mention sunglasses in the description if you want a cheap pair for out on the sand. If you have to kennel a pooch, then go with a variation of "The B&B for Dino" and upload a photo of Dino for that item. Don't forget gas for the rental, maps and tour guides. Try these under a Necessities type title, and mention, "We don't want to get lost!". What about taking a limousine to the airport and back? It may be a luxury you wouldn't do for yourselves, but you may have a cousin who thinks it's time you were pampered. Don't forget the spa trips. These are usually one of the first items off the registry, so plan on a massage or two. You'll find other suggestions for this category when you're creating your registry.

7. Pricing is important. Make sure there is a full range of prices for your items. Make sure you have enough small items on your registry that can accommodate all budgets, but also so that your guests can put together a group of items as well. You'll have guests who will give you a night stay and a bottle of wine at sunset, to be helpful and personal at the same time. But don't shy away from the big-ticket items too. Think of what you're spending per head for the wedding. Some guests may try to match this as a guideline. You may have some close friends who really want to shower you as well, and will find a way.

8. For all-inclusive resorts (and cruises too!) where all the extras are paid for, don't just put two items - airfare and hotel. Most importantly, remember that those meals and drinks aren't free; you're paying for them with the cost of the hotel. Price your hotel item like you would if you weren't staying at an all-inclusive. This is especially easy if you're lucky enough that the resort gives you the option of going all-inclusive or not. If they don't, then look at the cost of neighboring resorts and their restaurants. It's a little more work but you want to get it as close as you can. Then check the prices for a snorkeling trip from a non-all-inclusive and include that as an item. Then you can put in the extras like you would normally as in the "miscellaneous" listed above. If you've included enough dinners and drinks, then you'll find that the total is larger than what you're spending for your all-inclusive, that it's inflating your registry. That's because you're getting a discount for your all-inclusive dollar. You can then reduce your hotel item by that amount so that it matches what you're actually paying, or you can reduce each item's cost to reflect your discount (if you're saving 10%, then reduce each item that's included by 10% in your registry.) Even at nearly all "pay as you go" resorts, you can charge everything to your room. At the end, it's "all-included" in your bill. You're just buying a little freedom to have lunch at the great spot at the other end of the beach and not feel guilty about the free lunch you just missed. No reason to feel like you can't break out those included items for your all-inclusive registry.

9. Upload your own photos. Smart Honeymoon has included plenty for you to find what you need for most items, but a few of your own will really help. The web is an endless source of photos, but don't forget ones you've taken yourself. You can upload your own photos after you've saved your registry.

10. Getting the word out gracefully is a challenge. If you have a wedding website, you can link straight to your registry from there. After you create a registry, we'll send you the link to your registry to include in emails if you want to let close friends and family know. They can help spread the word. We'll also send you the code for a "Smart Button" that you can put into your own website that will take your guests to your registry when they click on it! If you don't have a website, another great way to tactfully get the word out is to mention it on Facebook or MySpace. Think about setting up a wedding Facebook and MySpace too! You can then upload honeymoon photos so your guests who shared in your wedding and honeymoon can follow along.

To sum up: Personalize, personalize, personalize!!! Let your humor through too. Being a little tongue-in-cheek is great, if it's you. That goes for being a little risqué too, so long as you have your guests in mind. If they expect it from you, great! They'll want to see it.

Good luck and happy registering!
Pam
www.SmartHoneymoon.com

Our wedding cost us a fortune. Not a wealthy person's fortune, but ours. We wanted it to be perfect and it was. Every detail was considered, every moment an occasion. After all, we had waited ten years to do this. We're glad we waited too. This is a world with an over-abundance of divorces and unhappiness. I certainly don't blame the express flight to the alter for this. My great-grandparents had a 60 year long honeymoon after getting engaged on their third date. My parents took a leisurely four months to wed and are the happiest couple I know. Some say the world is a different place now. I think that's probably true, even though our ten years could have been seven without risk to our wedded glow. So after ten years, you might say we did it up pretty good. We feel that what made the day so special was the personalization. Our guests got to know us even more that day.

Our wedding and reception were held at a beautiful mansion on Long Island. However, most of the personal touches for our wedding were the free or inexpensive details. Those were the details that took the most time, but worth every minute. We placed framed photos throughout the five rooms we were using and made sure we included all our guests in the shots. During cocktail hour we passed around wine from our home states of Virginia and New York. In lieu of a carving station we had raclette, a very personal cheese and potato dish many of our friends and family have shared with us. Because it was spring and this was a culinary school, we named our tables after herbs and their corresponding mythical powers. We displayed important personal poetry throughout as well. We are abundantly fortunate to have a very close and spiritual friend perform our ceremony. He was more than willing to get the appropriate credentials to make it legal. On the pricier side, we had a quartet play for and before the ceremony and during the cocktail hour. For me, nothing beats Ave Maria by cello. We also spent a dime on a videographer to capture it all. While I love the photos, nothing brings the event to life like seeing and hearing it all over again. After the carefully chosen dinner, with the help of three great friends, I surprised my new wife with an a capella barbershop quartet song that she now claims as her favorite.

We followed up the wedding with a carefully planned honeymoon. We went to Thailand and Malaysia, which were beautiful as well as easy on the dollar. We incorporated time on the beach on the island of Koh Samui, adventure travel in the jungle and mountains of Malaysia and lastly spent time at a luxury hotel in Bangkok. Our honeymoon had the added element of personalization for our guests because we registered for it. After ten years we didn't need a lot of stuff so we only registered for upgrades of a few items to cherish. The guests who used our honeymoon registry felt wonderfully connected to our unique trip. They gave us a gift of memories.

To personalize your wedding, try some of the following:

Do think outside the box for your reception. Being foodies, we found a culinary school associated with my wife's college at a beautiful mansion. It even ended up less expensive than other "wedding-central", less attractive alternatives.
Do place photos of your guests all around your cocktail and/or reception area. Don't have the photos be of just yourselves.
Do have a personalized menu and cocktail hour tailored to your tastes (unless they're extreme). Ask about options and alternatives. Serve a cocktail that is meaningful to you in some way (what you were drinking when you first kissed, your first date, the night you got engaged?) Again, think outside the box.
Do play music you love rather than the typical fare. Take time with your DJ wish list. Communicate with the DJ to make sure he knows what you want.
Do think about writing your own vows.
Do register for your honeymoon . It'll create a buzz about your honeymoon, which will enhance your day as you chat with guests about it during your event.
Do send your guests away with an outside the box favor. Ice cream scoopers and cake servers are over used. We sent our guests home with herbs in a lovely pot. Let your own tastes guide you in this.

We truly wanted a memorable wedding, not a cookie-cutter event. We were ecstatic with our day and wouldn't change a thing.

John
www.SmartHoneymoon.com