Humor For Cigarette Smokers

When I was a teenager I stole my first cigarette from my mom. I wouldnt dare tell her that now for the reason she would feel guilty for the rest of her life considering she only smoked cigarettes for less than a month.  It just so happens that was the month her son started smoking.

I will never forget that curious and anxious moment. There they were on the table next to the sofa. The top of the Winston cigarette pack was peeking out of her open purse. It was as if they were talking to me. "Come on Drew, try one. You know you want me. Breathing clearly and white teeth are way overrated."  At age 13 and a only child that was usually bored to death I felt I should never argue with a talking pack of cigarettes. As soon as dear old mom left the room I was the new proud owner of one winston filter cigarette and a few big wooden matches lifted from the fireplace mantel.

Now that I have it what do I do with it ? Then suddenly I heard a little voice coming out of my shirt pocket. Smoke me. Smoke me. Well thats it, Even though i dont know what to do with it I am certain I can figure it out. Plus if I smoke it I wont have to hear it talk to me anymore. I grew up in a small three bedroom house with a small yard so my next thought was where am I going to try my new experiment. Mom always kept a close eye on me because I was her only kiddo and I was a curious one. The kid that stuck metal butter knives in electric sockets, broke open old television tubes the TV repairman left behind just to watch the beads of mercury roll around in my hands not knowing how deadly it was.

After thinking a bit I came up with the brilliant idea of climbing up to the top of the biggest tree in the neighborhood and fire it up. At first I held the lit match up to the cigarette and not much happened besides turning the end of it black. Then it came to me, do it like the people on the television shows do it. I put it between my lips and held the match at the end of it but still not much was happening. Then I decided to try a suction motion and whoop there it is. I am smoking my very first cigarette.

In the beginning I thought it was horrible tasting as I continued puffing away inhaling only part of the time. Then before i knew it I felt this light headed mini buzz and it felt really good to say the least. No longer was I only inhaling part of the time but now it was everytime I put it up to my lips. The mini buzz turned into a big buzz. Then I realized I was in this big huge tree and feeling really dizzy from the cigarette and I had to climb down.

Little did I know It would be the start of a bad habit that I would struggle with all of my life.  When my body got used to the cigarettes and the euphoric buzz they had been giving me went away it turned into an addiction.  Now 37 years later I am still smoking like a Texas industrial plant. I have tried to quit numerous times but with no luck. My mother didnt like cigarettes and only smoked for one month in her life, but it was that one month that has stuck with me forever.