Snail Talk

 

My shell is made of calcium carbonate. It protects my heart, lung, kidney & intestines, and is also my house. I did not find it and crawl inside; I was born with it. Human embryos make teeth and nails; snail embryos make shells.
My shell has 3 layers, the hypostracum on the inside, ostracum in the middle and periostracum on the exterior.

I'm not a fussy eater.  Most any vegetable or fruit suits me.  And there is nothing more lip-smacking good than a succulent young Hosta shoot.  Love those old specimen plants but can take or leave Aden's concoctions.  Invincible is purely loathsome from a snails point of view.

My dinner preferences annoy the greedy humans to no end, which is absurd. 
I eat so little!  True, slime trails have detractors, and humans get fussed about holes in their produce.  If I could nibble the edges like a rabbit, I would.  Or maybe not.  Sharing their lettuce is the least humans can do, considering that they eat snails as party niblets!

Reportedly, I am nutritious.  Rich in vitamins B1 & E, calcium,
protein and amino acids, low in fat, etc.   Hah!  That's
because in addition to vegetables and fruit I consume other yummies like rodent scat, rotting things, poisonous leaves, bark, etc.  All of which means I sometimes carry a parasite that can cause a rare type of meningitis.

So before you run out into your back yard with a fork and plate, be advised that before you eat a snail, it must be purged of everything it has eaten (done by a series of gruesome starving and cereal gluts) and thoroughly cooked.

In France my cooked relatives are called Escargot, in Portugal
they're caracóis and feijoada de caracóis and in
Spain caracoles (arroz con conejo y caracoles if combined with
rice and rabbit).  In Sicily they're known as babbaluci, in
Catalonia they're caragols and in Malta, bebbux. 
Elsewhere's they're abalone, queen conch, periwinkle, tsalingaria, ass's ear,
sea-ear, ormer, paua. 

Without a second thought, humans boil, broil, steam and can my kin, then garnish them with butter, smelly garlic, tomatoes, parsley and oregano. And they gripe because I eat a few oranges?!

Pictured at left is one of my 6 mates last year. During an afternoon of sex, we impregnated each other. A few days later we each dug a 1-1/2" deep hole to hold about 80 couscous-sized white eggs.  No telling how many survived. Some probably didn't make it out of the egg. As a newborn, Jonesing for
calcium, I first ate the shell I hatched from, then the shells of some unhatched siblings. First out, first fed, I always say.  At least I don't live where the Decollate snail posses have been turned loose to eat youngsters.
Scientific discussion of snail eggs.

It's not bad enough to have snakes, beetles, turtles, birds, ducks, toads, chickens, badgets, fox and frogs watching my every move, there's also the blasted humans. If they're not trying to eat me, they're setting traps, making barriers, putting out poison bait ... it's a war zone out there, with tricksters around every corner, and most of them walk upright!

Confessed snail lover refrigerator magnet

" Home is where the Giant African snail is " refrigerator magnet

" Apple Snail Territory " refrigerator magnet

Home is where the snails are " refrigerator magnet

SNAILS ROCK " refrigerator magnet

Victorian girl dressed like Alice in Wonderland with giant snail - refrigerator magnet